THE COLOR PURPLE

ALICE WALKER

PUBLISHED BY POCKET BOOKS NEW YORK

i POCKET BOOKS, a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

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Copyright © 1982 by Alice Walker Cover art courtesy

Warner Bros.

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ISBN: 0-671-61702-8

First Pocket Books mass-market printing December, 1985

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ii To the Spirit:

Without whose assistance

Neither this book

Nor I

Would have been Written.

iii Show me how to do like you Show me how to do it.

?Stevie Wonder

1 You better not never tel nobody but God. Ifd kil your.

mammy.

Dear God,

I am fourteen years old. I-aa I have always been a good girl.

Maybe you can give me a sign letting me know what is

happening to

me.

Last spring after little Lucious come I heard them fussing.

He was pul ing on her arm. She say It too soon, Fonso, I

ain't wel .

Final y he leave her alone. A week go by, he pul ing on her

arm again. She say Naw, I ain't gonna. Can't you see I'm

already half

dead, an al of these children.

She went to visit her sister doctor over Macon. Left me to

see after the others. He never had a kine word to say

to.me. Just say

You gonna do what your mammy wouldn't. First he put his

thing up gainst my hip and sort of wiggle it around. Then he

grab hold

my titties. Then he push his thing inside my pussy. When

that

2 hurt, I cry. He start to choke me, saying You better shut up

and git used to it.

But I don't never git used to it. And now I feels sick every

time I be the one to cook. My mama she fuss at me an look

at me. She

happy, cause he good to her now. But too sick to last long.

3

My mama dead. She die screaming and cussing. She

scream at me. She cuss at me. I'm big. I can't move fast

enough. By time I git

back from the wel , the water be warm. By time I git the tray

ready the food be cold. By time I git al the children ready

for

school it be dinner time. He don't say nothing. He set there

by the bed holding her hand an cryin, talking bout don't

leave me,

don't go.

She ast me bout the first one Whose it is? I say God's. I

don't know no other man or what else to say. When I start to

hurt and

then my stomach start moving and then that little baby come

out my pussy chewing on it fist you could have knock me

over with

a feather.

Don't nobody come see us.

She got sicker an sicker.

Final y she ast Where it is?

I say God took it.

He took it. He took it while I was sleeping. Kilt it out there in

the woods. Kil this one too, if he can.

4

He act like he can*t stand me no more. Say I'm evil an

always up to no good. He took my other little baby, a boy

this time. But

I don't think he kilt it. I think he sold it to a man an his wife

over Monticel o. I got breasts ful of milk running down

myself.

He say Why don't you look decent? Put on something. But

what I'm sposed to put on? I don't have nothing.

I keep hoping he fine somebody to marry. I see him looking

at my little sister. She scared. But I say I'l take care of you.

With

God help.

5

He come home with a girl from round Gray. She be my age

but they married. He be on her al the time. She walk round

like she don't

know what hit her. I think she thought she love him. But he

got so many of us. Al needing somethin.

My little sister Nettie is got a boyfriend in the same shape

almost as Pa. His wife died. She was kilt by her boyfriend

coming

home from church. He got only three children though. He

seen Nettie in church and now every Sunday evening here

come Mr. ???.

I tel Nettie to keep at her books. It be more then a notion

taking care of children ain't even yourn. And look what

happen to

Ma.

6

He beat me today cause he say I winked at a boy in church.

I may have got somethin in my eye but I didn't wink. I don't

even look

at mens. That's the truth. I look at women, tho, cause I'm not

scared of them. Maybe cause my mama cuss me you think

I kept mad

at her. But I ain't. I felt sorry for mama. Trying to believe bis

story kilt her.

Sometime he stil be looking at Nettie, but I always git in his

light. Now I tel her to marry Mr. ??,? I don't tel her why.

I say Marry him, Nettie, an try to have one good year out

your life. After that, I know she be big.

But me, never again. A girl at church say you git big if you

bleed every month. I don't bleed no more.

7

Mr. ??? final y come right out an ast for Nettie hand in

marriage. But He won't let her go. He say she too young, no

experience.

Say Mr. ?:?? got too many children already. Plus What

about the scandal his wife cause when somebody kil her?

And what about

al this stuff he hear bout Shug Avery? What bout that?

I ast our new mammy bout Shug Avery, What it is? I ast.

She don't know but she say she gon fine out.

She do more then that. She git a picture. The first one of a

real person I ever seen. She say Mr. ???was taking

somethin out his

bil fold to show Pa an it fel out an slid under the table. Shug

Avery was a woman. The most beautiful woman I ever saw.

She more

pretty then my mama. She bout ten thousand times more

prettier then me. I see her there in furs. Her face rouge. Her

hair like

somethin tail. She grinning with her foot up on somebody

motocar. Her eyes serious tho. Sad some.

I ast her to give me the picture. An al night long I stare at it.

An now when I dream, I dream of Shug Avery. She be dress

to

kil , whirling and laughing.

8

I ast him to take me instead of Nettie while our new mammy

sick. But he just ast me what I'm talking bout. I tel him I can

fix

myself up for him. I duck into my room and come out

wearing horsehair, feathers, and a pair of our new mammy

high heel shoes.

He beat me for dressing trampy but he do it to me anyway.

Mr. ??? come that evening. I'm in the bed crying. Nettie she

final y see the light of day, clear. Our new mammy she see it

too.

She in her room crying. Nettie tend to first one, then the

other. She so scared she. go out doors and vomit. But not

out front

where the two mens is.

Mr. ??? say, Wel Sir, I sure hope you done change your

mind.

He say, Naw, Can't say I is.

Mr. ??? say, Wel , you know, my poor little ones sure could

use a mother.

Wel , He say, real slow, I can't let you have Nettie. She too

young. Don't know nothing but what you tel her. Sides, I

want her

to git some more schooling. Make a schoolteacher out of

her. But I can let you have

9 Celie. She the oldest anyway. She ought to marry first.

She ain't fresh tho, but I spect you know that. She spoiled.

Twice. But

you don't need a fresh woman no how. I got a fresh one in

there myself and she sick al the time. He spit, over the

railing. The

children git on her nerve, she not much of a cook. And she

big already.

Mr. ??? he don't say nothing. I stop crying I'm so surprise.

She ugly. He say. But she ain't no stranger to hard work.

And she clean. And God done fixed her. You can do

everything just like

you want to and she ain't gonna make you feed it or clothe

it.

Mr. ??? stil don't say nothing. I take out the picture of Shug

Avery. I look into her eyes. Her eyes say Yeah, it beesthat

way

sometime.

Fact is, he say, I got to git rid of her. She too old to be living

here at home. And she a bad influence on my other girls.

She'd

come with her own linen. She can take that cow she raise

down there back of the crib. But Nettie you flat out can't

have. Not

now. Not never.

Mr. ??? final y speak. Clearing his throat. I ain't never real y

look at that one, he say.

Wel , next time you come you can look at her. She ugly.

Don't even look like she kin to Nettie. But she'l make the

better wife.

She ain't smart either, and I'l just be fair, you have to watch

her or she'l give away everything you own. But she can

work

like a man.

Mr. ??? say How old she is? <

He say, She near twenty. And another tning?She tel lies.

10

It took him the whole spring, from March to June, to make

up his mind to take me. Al I thought about was Nettie. How

she could

come to me if I marry him and he be so love struck with her I

could figure out a way for us to run away. Us both be hitting

Nettie's

school-books pretty hard, cause us know we got to be

smart to git away. I know I'm not as pretty or as smart as

Nettie, but shesay

I ain't dumb.

The way you know who discover America, Nettie say, is

think bout cucumbers. That what Columbus sound like. I

learned al about

Columbus in first grade, but look like he the first thing I

forgot. She say Columbus come here in boats cal the

Neater, the Peter,

and the Santomareater. Indians so nice to him he force a

bunch of 'em back home with him to wait on the queen.

But it hard to think with gitting married to Mr. ??? hanging

over my head.

The first time I got big Pa took me out of school. He never

care that I love it. Nettie stood there at the gate holding tight

to

my hand. I was al dress for first day.

11 You too dumb to keep going to school, Pa say. Nettie

the clever one in this bunch.

But Pa, Nettie say, crying, Celie smart too. Even Miss

Beasley say so. Nettie dote on Miss Beasley. Think nobody

like her in the

world.

Pa say, Whoever listen to anything Addie Beasley have to

say. She run off at the mouth so much no man would have

her. That how

come she have to teach school. He never look up from

cleaning his gun. Pretty soon a bunch of white mens come

walking cross the

yard. They h'ave guns too.

Pa git up and fol ow 'em. The rest of the week I vomit and

dress wild game.

But Nettie never give up. Next thing I know Miss Beasley at

our house trying to talk to Pa. She say long as she been a

teacher

she never know nobody want to learn bad as Nettie and

me. But when Pa cal me out and she see how tight my

dress is, she stop

talking and go.

Nettie stil don't understand. I don't neither. Al us notice is

I'm al the time sick and fat.

I feel bad sometime Nettie done pass me in learnin. But

look like nothing she say can git in my brain and stay. She

try to tel

me something bout the ground not being flat. I just say,

Yeah, tike I know it. I never tel her how flat it look to me.

Mr. ??? come final y one day looking al drug out. The

woman he had helping him done quit. His mammy done

said No More.

He say, Let me see her again.

Pa cal me. Celie,he say. Like it wasn't nothing. Mr. ___

want another look at you.

I go stand in the door. The sun shine in my eyes. He's stil

up on his horse. He look me up and down.

12 Pa rattle his newspaper. Move up, he won't bite, he say.

I go closer to the steps, but not too close cause I'm a little

scared of his horse.

Turn round, Pa say.

I turn round. One of my little brothers come up. I think it was

Lucious. He fat and playful, al the time munching on

something.

He say, What you doing that for?

Pa say, Your sister thinking bout marriage.

Didn't mean nothing to him. He pul my dresstail and ast

can he have some blackberry jam out the safe.

I say, Yeah.

She good with children, Pa say, rattling his paper open

more. Never heard her say a hard word to nary one of them.

Just give 'em

everything they ast for, is the only problem.

Mr. ?,?? say, That cow stil coming?

He say, Her cow.

13

I spend my wedding day running from the oldest boy. He

twelve. His mama died in his arms and he don't want to

hear nothing bout

no new one. He pick up a rock and laid my head open. The

blood run al down tween my breasts. His daddy say Don't

dothat! But

that's al he say. He got four children, instead of three, two

boys and two girls. The girls hair ain't been comb since

their

mammy died. I tel him I'l just have to shave it off. Start

fresh. He say bad hick to cut a woman hair. So after I

bandage my

head best I can and cook dinner?they have a spring, not a

wel , and a wood stove look like a truck?I start trying to

untangle

hair. They only six and eight and they cry. They scream.

They cuse me of murder. By ten o'clock I'm done. They cry

theirselves

to sleep. But I don't cry. I lay there thinking bout Nettie while

he on top of me, wonder if she safe. And then I think bout

Shug

Avery. I know what he doing to me he done to Shug Avery

and maybe she like it. I put my arm around him.

14

I was in town sitting on the wagon while Mr. ???was in the

dry good store. I seen my baby girl. I knowed it was her.

She look just

like me and my daddy. Like more us then us is ourself. She

be tagging long hind a lady and they be dress just alike.

They pass

the wagon and I speak. The lady speak pleasant. My little

girl she look up and sort of frown. She fretting over

something. She

got my eyes just like they is today. Like everything I seen,

she seen, and she pondering it.

I think she mine. My heart say she mine. But I don't know

she mine. If she mine, her name Olivia. I embroder Olivia in

the seat

of al her daidies. I embrody lot of little stars and flowers

too. He took the daidies when he took her. She was bout

two month,

old. Now she bout six.

I clam down from the wagon and I fol ow Olivia and her new

mammy into a store. I watch her run her hand long side the

counter,

like she ain't interested in nothing. Her ma is buying cloth.

She say Don't touch nothing/ Olivia yawn.

15 That real pretty, I say, and help her mama drape a piece

of cloth close to her face.

She smile. Gonna make me an my girl some new dresses,

she say. Her daddy be so proud.

Who her daddy, I blurt out. It like at lastsomebody know.

She say Mr. ???. But that ain't my daddy name.

Mr. ___? I say. Who he?

She look like I ast something none of my bidniss.

The ReverendMr. ???, she say, then turn her face to the

clerk. He say, Girl you want that cloth or not? We got other

customers

sides you.

She say, Yes sir. I want five yards, please sir.

He snatch the cloth and thump down the bolt. He don't

measure. When he think he got five yard he tare it off. That

be a dol ar

and thirty cent, he say. You need thread?

She say, Naw suh.

He say, You can't sew thout thread. He pick up a spool and

hold it against the cloth. That look like it bout the right color.

Don't

you think.

She say, Yessuh.

He start to whistle. Take two dol ars. Give her a quarter

back. He look at me. You want something gal? I say, Naw

Suh.

I trail long behind them on the street.

I don't have nothing to offer and I feels poor.

She look up and down the street. He ain't here. He ain't

here. She say like she gon cry.

Who ain't? I ast.

The Reverend Mr. ???, she say. He took the wagon.

My husband wagon right here, I say.

She clam up. I thank you kindly, she say. Us sit looking at al

the folks that's come to town. I never seen

16 so many even at church. Some be dress too. Some

don't hit on much. Dust git al up the ladies dress.

She ast me Who is my husband, now I know al bout hers.

She laugh a little. I say Mr. ???. She say, Sure nuff? Like

she know al

about him. Just didn't know he was married. He a fine

looking man, she say. Not a finer looking one in the county.

White or black,

she say.

He do look al right, I say. But I don't think about it while I say

it. Most times mens look pretty much alike to me.

How long you had your little girl? I ast.

Oh, she be seven her next birthday.

When that? I ast.

She think back. Then she say, December.

I think, November.

I say, real easy, What you cal her?

She say, oh, we cal s her Pauline.

My heart knock.

Then she frown. But / cal s her Olivia.

Why you cal her Olivia if it ain't her name? I ast.

Wel , just look at her, she say sort of impish, turning to look

at the child, don't she look like a Olivia to you? Look at her

eyes, for god's sake. Somebody ole would have eyes like

that. So I cal her oleLivia. She chuckle. Naw. Olivia, she

say, patting

the child hair. Wel , here come the Reverend Mr. ???, she

say. I see a wagon and a great big man in black holding a

whip. We sure

do thank you for your hospitality. She laugh again, look at

'the horses flicking flies off they rump, /forsepitality, she say.

And I git it and laugh. It feel like to split my face.

Mr. ???, come out the store. Clam up in the wagon. Set

down. Say real slow. What you setting here laughing like a

fool fer?

17

Nettie here with us. She run way from home. She say she

hate to leave our stepma, but she had to git out, maybe fine

help for the

other little ones. The boys be alright, she say. They can stay

out his way. When they git big they gon fight him.

Maybe kil , I say.

How is it with you and Mr. ???? she ast. But she got eyes.

He stil like her. In the evening he come out on the porch in

his Sunday

best. She be sitting there with me shel ing peas or helping

the children with they spel ing. Helping me with spel ing and

everything

else she think I need to know. No matter what happen,

Nettie steady try to teach me what go on in the world. And

she a good teacher

too. It nearly kil me to think she might marry somebody like

Mr. ??? or wind up in some white lady kitchen. Al day she

read,

she study, she practice her handwriting, and try to git us to

think. Most days I feel too tired to think. But Patient her

middle

name.

Mr. ??? children al bright but they mean. They say Celie, I

want dis. Celie, I want dat. Our Mama let

18 us have it. He don't say nothing. They try to get his

tention, he hide hind a puff of smoke.

Don't let them run over you, Nettie say. You got to let them

know who got the upper hand.

They got it, I say.

But she keep on. You got to fight. You got to fight.

But I don't know how to fight. Al I know how to do is stay

alive.

That's a real pretty dress you got on, he say to Nettie.

She say, Thank you.

Them shoes look just right.

She say, Thank you.

Your skin. Your hair; Your teefs. Everyday it something else

to make miration over.

Fust she smile a little. Then she frown. Then she don't look

no special way at al . She just stick close to me. She tel

me, Your

skin. Your hair, Your teefs. He try to give her a compliment,

she pass it on to me. After while I git to feeling pretty cute.

Soon he stop. He say one night in bed, Wel , us done help

Nettie al we can. Now she got to go.

Where she gon go? I ast.

I don't care, he say.

I tel Nettie the next morning. Stead of being mad, she glad

to go. Say she hate to leave me is al . Us fal on each other

neck

When she say that.

I sure hate to leave you here with these rotten children, she

say. Not to mention with Mr. ???. It's like seeing you buried,

she

say.

It's worse than that, I think. If I was buried, I wouldn't have to

work. But I just say, Never mine, never mine, long as I can

spel G-o-d I got somebody along.

19 But I only got one thing to give her, the name of

Reverend Mr. ???. I tel her to ast for his wife. That maybe

she would help.

She the only woman I even seen with money.

I say, Write.

She say, What?

I say, Write.

She say, Nothing but death can keep me from it.

She never write.

20 G-o-d,

Two of his sister come to visit. They dress al up. Celie, they

say. One thing is for sure. You keep a clean house. It not

nice

to speak il of the dead, one say, but the truth never can

beil . Annie Julia was a nasty 'oman bout the house.

She never want to be here in the first place, say the other.

Where she want to be? I ast.

At home. She say.

Wel that's no excuse, say the first one, Her name Carrie,

other one name Kate. When a woman marry she spose to

keep a decent house

and a clean family. Why, wasn't nothing to come here in the

winter time and al these children have colds, they have flue,

they

have direar, they have newmonya, they have worms, they

have the chil and fever. They hungry. They hair ain't comb.

They too nasty

to touch.

I touch 'em. Say Kate.

And cook. She wouldn't cook. She act like she never seen

a kitchen.

21 Was a scandal, say Carrie.

He sure was, say Kate.

What you mean? say Carrie.

I mean he just brought her here, dropped her, and kept right

on running after Shug Avery. That what I mean. Nobody to

talk to,

nobody to visit. He be gone for days. Then she start having

babies. And she young and pretty.

Not so pretty, say Carrie, looking in the looking glass. Just

that head of hair. She too black.

Wel , brother must like black. Shug Avery black as my shoe.

Shug Avery, Shug Avery, Carrie say. I'm sick of her.

Somebody say she going round trying to sing. Umph, what

she got to sing about.

Say she wearing dresses al up her leg and headpieces

with little bal s and tassles hanging down, look like window

dressing.

My ears perk up when they mention Shug Avery. I feel like I

want to talk about her my own self. They hush.

I'm sick of her too, say Kate, letting out her breath. And you

right about Celie, here. Good housekeeper, good with

children, good

cook. Brother couldn't have done better if he tried.

I think about how he tried.

This time Kate come by herself. She maybe twenty-five.

Old-maid. She look younger than me. Healthy. Eyes bright.

Tongue sharp.

Buy Celie some clothes. She say to Mr. ???.

She need clothes? he ast.

Wel look at her.

He look at me. It like he looking at the earth. It need

somethin? his eyes say.

She go with me in the store. I think what color Shug 21

22 Avery would wear. She like a queen to me so I say to

Kate, Somethin purple, maybe little red in it too. But us look

an look

and no purple. Plenty red but she say, Naw, he won't want

to pay for red. Too happy lookin. We got choice of brown,

maroon or

navy blue. I say blue.

I can't remember being the first one in my own dress. Now

to have one made just for me. I try to tel Kate what it mean.

I git

hot in the face and stutter.

She say. It's al right, Celie. You deserve more than this.

Maybe so. I think.

Harpo, she say. Harpo the oldest boy. Harpo, don't let Celie

be the one bring in al the water. You a big boy now. Time

for you

to help out some.

Women work, he say.

What? she say.

Women work. I'm a man.

You're a trifling nigger, she say. You git that bucket and

bring it back ful .

He cut his eye at me. Stumble out. I hear him mutter

somethin to Mr. ??? sitting on the porch. Mr. ??? cal his

sister. She stay

out on the porch talking a little while, then she come back

in, shaking.

Got to go, Celie, she say.

She so mad tears be flying every which way while she

pack.

You got to fight them, Celie, she say. I can't do it for you.

You got to fight them for yourself.

I don't say nothing. I think bout Nettie, dead. She fight, she

run away. What good it do? I don't fight, I stay where I'm

told.

But I'm alive.

23

Harpo ast his daddy why he beat me. Mr. ___ say, Cause

she my wife. Plus, she stubborn. Al women good for?he

don't finish. He

just tuck his chin over the paper like he do. Remind me of

Pa.

Harpo ast me, How come you stubborn? He don't ast How

come you his wife? Nobody ast that.

I say, Just bom that way, I reckon.

He beat me like he beat the children. Cept he don't never

hardly beat them. He say, Celie, git the belt. The children be

outside

the room peeking through the cracks. It al I can do not to

cry. I make myself wood. I say to myself, Celie, you a tree.

That's

how come I know trees fear man.

Harpo say, I love Somebody.

I say, Huh?

He say, A Girl.

I say, You do?

He say, Yeah. Us plan to marry.

Marry, I say. You not old enough to marry.

I is, he say. I'm seventeen. She fifteen. Old enough.

24 What her mama say, I ast.

Ain't talk to her mama.

What her daddy say?

Ain't talk to him neither.

Wel , what shesay?

Us ain't never spoke. He duck his head. He ain't so bad

looking. Tal and skinny, black like his mama, with great big

bug eyes.

Where yal see each other? I ast. I see her in church, he

say. She see me outdoors.

She like you?

I don't know. I wink at her. She act like she scared to look.

Where her daddy at while al this going on?

Amen corner, he say.

25

Shug Avery is coming to town! She coming with her

orkestra. She going to sing in the Lucky Star out on

Coalman road. Mr. ??? going

to hear her. He dress al up in front the glass, look at

himself, then undress and dress al over again. He slick

back his hair

with pomade, then wash it out again. He been spitting on

his shoes and hitting it with a quick rag.

He tel me, Wash this. Iron that. Look for this. Look for that.

Find this. Find that. He groan over holes in his sock.

I move round darning and ironing, finding hanskers.

Anything happening? I ast.

What you mean? he say, like he mad. Just trying to git

some of the hick farmer off myself. Any other woman be

glad.

I'm is glad, I say.

What you mean? he ast.

You looks nice, I say. Any woman be proud.

You think so? he say.

First time he ast me. I'm so surprise, by time I say 25

26 Yeah, he out on the porch, trying to shave where the light

better.

I walk round al day with the announcement burning a hole in

my pocket. It pink. The trees tween the turn off to our road

and the

store is lit up with them. He got bout five dozen in his trunk.

Shug Avery standing upside a piano, elbow crook, hand on

her hip. She wearing a hat like Indian Chiefs. Her mouth

open showing

al her teef and don't nothing seem to be troubling her mind.

Come one, come al , it say. The Queen Honeybee is back

in town.

Lord, I wants to go so bad. Not to dance. Not to drink. Not

to play card. Not even to hear Shug Avery sing. I just be

thankful

to lay eyes on her.

27

Mr. ??? be gone al night Saturday, al night Sunday and

most al day Monday. Shug Avery in town for the week-end.

He stagger in,

throw himself on the bed. He tired. He sad. He weak. He

cry. Then he sleep the rest of the day and al night.

He wake up while I'm in the field. I been chopping cotton

three hours by time he come. Us don't say nothing to each

other.

But I got a mil ion question to ast. What she wear? Is she

stil the same old Shug, like in my picture? How her hair is?

What kind

lipstick? Wig? She stout? She skinny? She sound wel ?

Tired? Sick? Where you al children at while she singing al

over the place?

Do she miss 'em? Questions be running back and forth

through my mind. Peel like snakes. I pray for strength, bite

the insides

of my jaws.

Mr. ??? pick up a hoe and start to chop. He chop bout three

chops then he don't chop again. He drop the hoe in the

furrow, turn

right back on his heel, walk back to the house, go git him a

cool drink of Water, git

28 his pipe, sit on the porch and stare. I fol ow cause I think

he sick. Then he say, You better git on back to the field.

Don't

wait for me.

28

29

Harpo no better at fighting his daddy back than me. Every

day his daddy git up, sit on the porch, look out at nothing.

Sometime

look at the trees out front the house. Look at a butterfly if it

light on the rail. Drink a little water in the day. A little

wine in the evening. But mostly never move.

Harpo complain bout al the plowing he have to do.

His daddy say, You gonna do it.

Harpo nearly big as his daddy. He strong in body but weak

in wil . He scared.

Me and him out in the field al day. Us sweat, chopping and

plowing. I'm roasted coffee bean color now. He black as the

inside

of a chimney. His eyes be sad and thoughtful. His face

begin to look like a woman face.

Why you don't work no more? he ast his daddy.

No reason for me to. His daddy say. You here, ain't you?

He say this nasty. Harpos feeling be hurt.

Plus, he stil in love.

30

Harpo girl daddy say Harpo not good enough for. her.

Harpo been courting the girl a while. He say he sit in the

parlor with her,

the daddy sit right there in the corner til everybody feel

terrible. Then he go sit on the porch in front the open door

where

he can hear everything. Nine o'clock come, he bring Harpo

his hat.

Why I'm not good enough? Harpo ast Mr. ???. Mr. ??? say,

Your mammy.

Harpo say, What wrong with my mammy?

Mr. ??? say, Somebody kil her.

Harpo be trouble with nightmares. He see his mama

running cross the pasture trying to git home. Mr. ___, the

man they say her boyfriend,

catch up with her. She got Harpo by the hand. They both

running and running. He grab hold of her shoulder, say, You

can't quit

me now. You mine. She say, No I ain't. My place is with my

children. He say, Whore, you ain't got no place. He shoot

her in the

stomach. She fal down. The man run. Harpo grab her in his

arms, put her head in his lap.

31 He start to cal , Mama, Mama. It wake me up. The other

children, too. They cry like they mama just die. Harpo come

to, shaking.

I light the lamp and stand over him, patting his back.

It not her fault somebody kil her, he say. It not! It not!

Naw, I say. It not.

Everybody say how good I is to Mr. ??? children. I be good

to them. But I don't feel nothing for them. Patting Harpo

back not even

like patting a dog. It more like patting another piece of

wood. Not a living tree, but a table, a chifferobe. Anyhow,

they don't

love me neither, no matter how good I is.

They don't mind. Cept for Harpo they won't work. The girls

face always to the road. Bub be out al times of night

drinking with

boys twice his age. They daddy puff on his pipe.

Harpo tel me al his love business now. His mind on Sofia

Butler day and night.

She pretty, he tel me. Bright.

Smart?

Naw. Bright skin.She smart too though, I think. Sometime

us can git her away from her daddy.

I know right then the next thing I hear, she be big.

If she so smart how come she big? I ast.

Harpo shrug. She can't git out the house no other way, he

say. Mr. ??? won't let us marry. Say I'm not good enough to

come in his

parlor. But if she big I got a right to be with her, good

enough or no.

Where yal gon stay?

They got a big place, he say. When us marry I'l be just like

one of the family.

32 Humph, I say. Mr. ??? didn't like you before she big, he

ain't gonna like you causeshe big.

Harpo look trouble.

Talk to Mr. ???, I say. He your daddy. Maybe he got some

good advice.

Maybe not. I think.

Harpo bring her over to meet his daddy. Mr. __?say he

want to have a look at her. I see 'em coming way off up the

road. They be

just marching, hand in hand, like going to war. She in front a

little. They come up on the porch, I speak and move some

chairs

closer to the railing. She sit down and start to fan herself

with a hansker. It sure is hot, she say. Mr. ??? don't say

nothing.

He just look her up and down. She bout seven or eight

months pregnant, bout to bust out her dress. Harpo so

black he think she

bright, but she ain't that bright. Gear medium brown skin,

gleam on it like on good furniture. Hair notty but a lot of it,

tied

up on her head in a mass of plaits. She not quite as tal as

Harpo but much bigger, and strong and ruddy looking, like

her mama

brought her up on pork.

She say, How you, Mr. ????

He don't answer the question. He say, Look like you done

got yourself in trouble.

Naw suh, she say. I ain't in no trouble. Big, though.

She smooth the wrinkles over her stomach with the flats of

her hands.

Who the father? he ast.

She look surprise. Harpo, she say.

How he know that?

He know. She say.

Young womens no good these days, he say. Got they legs

open to every Tom, Dick and Harry.

33 Harpo look at his daddy like he never seen him before.

But he don't say nothing.

Mr. ??? say, No need to think I'm gon let my boy marry you

just cause you in the family way. He young and limited.

Pretty gal like

you could put anything over on him.

Harpo stil don't say nothing.

Sofia face git more ruddy. The skin move back on her

forehead. Her ears raise.

But she laugh. She glance at Harpo sitting there with his

head down and his hands tween his knees.

She say, What 1 need to marry Harpo for? He stil living

here with you. What food and clothes he git, you buy.

He say, Your daddy done throwed you out. Ready to live in

the street I guess.

She say, Naw. I ain't living in the street. I'm living with my

sister and her husband. They say I can live with them for the

rest

of my life. She stand up, big, strong, healthy girl, and she

say, Wel , nice visiting. I'm going home.

Harpo get up to come too. She say, Naw, Harpo, you stay

here. When you free, me and the baby be waiting.

He sort of hang there between them a while, then he sit

down again. I look at her face real quick then, and seem

like a shadow

go cross it. Then she say to me, Mrs. ???, I'd thank you for

a glass of water before I go, if you don't mind.

The bucket on the shelf right there on the porch. I git a clean

glass out the safe and dip her up some water. She drink it

down,

almost in one swal ow. Then she run her hands over her

bel y again and she take off. Look like the army change

direction, and

she heading off to catchup.

34 Harpo never git up from his chair. Him and his daddy sit

there and sit there and sit there. They never talk. They never

move.

Final y I have supper and go to bed. I git up in the morning it

feel like they stil sitting there. But Harpo be in the outhouse,

Mr. ??? be shaving.

34

35

Harpo went and brought Sofia and the baby home. They

got married in Sofia sister house. Sister's husband stand

up with Harpo. Other

sister sneak way from home to stand up with Sofia. Another

sister come to hold the baby. Say he cry right through the

service,

his mama stop everything to nurse him. Finish saying I do

with a big ole nursing boy hi her arms.

Harpo fix up the little creek house for him and his family. Mr.

??? daddy used it for a shed. But it sound. Got windows

now, a

porch, back door. Plus it cool and green down by the creek.

He ast me to make some curtains and I make some out of

flower sack. It not big, but it homey. Got a bed, a dresser, a

looking glass,

and some chairs. Cookstove for cooking and heating, too.

Harpo daddy give him wages for working now. He say

Harpo wasn't working

hard like he should. Maybe little money goose his interest.

Harpo told me, Miss Celie, I'm going on strike.

On what?

I ain't going to work.

36 And he don't. He come to the field, pul two ears of corn,

let the birds and weevil eat two hundred. Us don't make

nothing much

this year.

But now Sofia coming, he always busy. He chop, he

hammer, he plow. He sing and whistle.

Sofia look half her size. But she stil a big strong girl. Arms

got muscle. Legs, too. She swing that baby about like it

nothing.

She got a little pot on her now and give you the feeling she

al there. Solid. Like if she sit down on something, it be

mash.

She tel Harpo, Hold the baby, while she come back in the

house with me to git some thread. She making some

sheets. He take the

baby, give it a kiss, chuck it under the chin. Grin, look up on

the porch at his daddy.

Mr. ??? blow smoke, look down at him, and say, Yeah, I

see now she going to switch the traces on you.

37

Harpo want to know what to do to make Sofia! mind. He sit

out on the porch with Mr. ???. He say, I tel her one thing,

she do another.

Never do what I say. Always backtalk.

To tel the truth, he sound a little proud of this to me.

Mr. ??? don't say nothing. Blow smoke.

I tel her she can't be al the time going to visit her sister. Us

married now, I tel her. Your place is here with the children.

She say, Til take the children with me. I say, Your place is

with me. She say, You want to come? She keep primping in

front of

the glass, getting the children ready at the same time.

You ever hit her? Mr. ??? ast.

Harpo look down at his hands. Naw sub, he say low,

embarrass.

Wel how you spect to make her mind? Wives is like

children. You have to let 'em know who got the upper hand.

Nothing can do that

better than a good sound beating.

He puff on bis pipe.

38 Sofia think too much of herself anyway, he say. She

need to be taken down a peg.

I like Sofia, but she don't act like me at al . If she talking

when Harpo and Mr. ??? come in the room, she keep right

on. If they

ast her where something at, she say she don't know. Keep

talking.

I think bout this when Harpo ast me what he ought to do to

her to make her mind. I don't mention how happy he is now.

How three

years pass and he stil whistle and sing. I think bout how

every time I jump when Mr. _??? cal me, she look surprise.

And like

she pity me.

Beat her. I say.

Next time us see Harpo his face a mess of bruises. His lip

cut. One of his eyes shut like a fist. He walk stiff and say his

teef

ache.

I say, What happen to you, Harpo?

He say, Oh, me and that mule. She fractious, you know.

She went crazy in the field the other day. By time I got her to

head for

home I was al banged up. Then when I got home, I walked

smack dab into the crib door. Hit my eye and scratch my

chin. Then when

that storm come up last night I shet the window down on my

hand.

Wel , I say, After al that, I don't spect you had a chance to

see if you could make Sofia mind.

Nome, he say.

But he keep trying.

39

Just when I was bout to cal out that I was coming in the

yard, I hear something crash. It come from inside the house,

so I run

up on the porch. The two children be making mud pies on

the edge of the creek, they don't even look up.

I open the door cautious, thinking bout robbers and

murderers. Horsethieves and hants. But it Harpo and Sofia.

They fighting like

two mens. Every piece of furniture they got is turned over.

Every plate look like it broke. The looking glass hang

crooked, the

curtains torn. The bed look like the stuffing pul ed out. They

dont notice. They fight. He try to slap her. What he do that

for?

She reach down and grab a piece of stove wood and

whack him cross the eyes. He punch her in the stomach,

she double over groaning

but come up with both hands lock right under his privates.

He rol on the floor. He grab her dress tail and pul . She

stand there

in her slip. She never blink a eye. He jump up to put a

hammer lock under her chin, she throw him over her back.

He fal barnup

gainst the stove.

I don't know how long this been going on. I don't 39

40 know when they spect to conclude. I ease on back out,

wave to the children by the creek, walk back on up home.

Saturday morning early, us hear the wagon. Harpo, Sofia,

the two babies be going off for the week-end, to visit Sofia

sister.

41

For over a month I have trouble1 sleeping. I stay up late as I

can before Mr. ? '.??start complaining bout the price of

kerosene,

then I soak myself in a warm bath with milk and epsom

salts, then sprinkle little witch hazel on my pil ow and curtain

out al

the moonlight. Sometimes I git a few hours sleep. Then just

when it look like it ought to be gitting good, I wakes up.

At first I'd git up quick and drink some milk. Then I'd think

bout counting fence post. Then I'd think bout reading the

Bible.

What it is? I ast myself.

A little voice say, Something you done wrong. Somebody

spirit you sin against. Maybe.

Way late one night it come to me. Sofia. I sin against Sofia

spirit.

I pray she don't find out, but she do.

Harpo told.

The minute she hear it she come marching up the path,

toting a sack. Little cut al blue and red under her eye.

42 She say, Just want you to know I looked to you for help.

Ain't I been helpful? I ast.

She open up her sack. Here your curtains, she say. Here

your thread. Here a dol ar for letting me use 'em.

They yourn, I say, trying to push them back. I'm glad to help

out. Do what I can.

You told Harpo to beat me, she said.

No I didn't, I said.

Don't lie, she said.

I didn't mean it, I said.

Then what you say it for? she ast.

She standing there looking me straight in the eye. She look

tired and her jaws ful of air.

I say it cause I'm a fool, I say. I say it cause I'm jealous of

you. I say it cause you do what I can't.

What that? she say.

Fight. I say.

She stand there a long time, like what I said took the wind

out her jaws. She mad before, sad now.

She say, Al my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I

had to fight my brothers. I had to fight my cousins and my

uncles.

A girl child ain't safe in a family of men. But I never thought

I'd have to fight in my own house. She let out her breath. I

loves

Harpo, she say. God knows I do. But I'l kil him dead before

I let him beat me. Now if you want a dead son-in-law you

just keep

on advising him like you doing. She put her hand on her hip.

I used to hunt game with a bow and arrow, she say.

I stop the little trembling that started when I saw her coming.

I'm soshame of myself, I say. And the Lord he done whip

me little

bit too.

The Lord don't like ugly, she say.

And he ain't stuck on pretty. 42

43 This open the way for our talk to turn another way.

I say, You feels sorry for me, don't you?

She think a minute. Yes ma'am, she say slow, I do.

I think I know how come, but I ast her anyhow.

She say, To tel the truth, you remind me of my mama. She

under my daddy thumb. Naw, she under my daddy foot.

Anything he say,

goes. She never say nothing back. She never stand up for

herself. Try to make a little half stand sometime for the

children but

that always backfire. More she stand up for us, the harder

time he give her. He hate children and he hate where they

come from.

Tho from al the children he got, you'd never know it.

I never know nothing bout her family. I thought, looking at

her, nobody in her family could be scared.

How many he got? I ast.

Twelve. She say.

Whew, I say. My daddy got six by my mama before she die,

I say. He got four more by the wife he got now. I don't

mention the two

he got by me.

How many girls? she ast.

Five, I say. How bout in your family?

Six boys, six girls. Al the girls big and strong like me. Boys

big and strong too, but al the girls stick together. Two

brothers

stick with us too, sometime. Us git in a fight, it's a sight to

see.

I ain't never struck a living thing, I say. Oh, when I was at

home I tap the little ones on the behind to make 'em

behave, but

not hard enough to hurt.

What you do when you git mad? she ast.

I think. I can't even remember the last time I felt mad, I say. I

used to git mad at my mammy cause she put a lot of work

on me.

Then I see how sick she is. Couldn't stay mad at her.

Couldn't be mad at my daddy cause he my daddy. Bible

say, Honor father and

44 mother no matter what. Then after while every tune I got

mad, or start to feel mad, I got sick. Felt like throwing up.

Terrible

feeling. Then I start to feel nothing at al .

Sofia frown. Nothing at al ?

Wel , sometime Mr. ??? git on me pretty hard. I have to talk

to Old Maker. But he my husband. I shrug my shoulders.

This life soon

be over, I say. Heaven last al ways.

You ought to bash Mr. ??? head open, she say. Think bout

heaven later.

Not much funny to me. That funny. I laugh. She laugh. Then

us both laugh so hard us flop down on the step.

Let's make quilt pieces out of these messed up curtains,

she say. And I run git my pattern book.

I sleeps like a baby now.

45

Shug Avery sick and nobody in this town want to take the

Queen Honeybee in. Her mammy say She told her so. Her

pappy say, Tramp.

A woman at church say she dying?maybe two berkulosis or

some kind of nasty woman disease. What? I want to ast,

but don't. The

women at church sometime nice to me. Sometime not.

They look at me there struggling with Mr. ???children.

Trying to drag 'em to

the church, trying to keep 'em quiet after us get there. They

some of the same ones used to be here both times I was

big. Sometimes

they think I don't notice, they stare at me. Puzzle.

I keep my head up, best I can. I do a right smart for the

preacher. Clean the floor and windows, make the wine,

wash the altar

linen. Make sure there's wood for the stove in wintertime.

He cal me Sister Celie. Sister Celie, he say, You faithful as

the

day is long.Then he talk to the other ladies and they mens. I

scurry bout, doing, this, doing that. Mr. ??? sit back by the

door

gazing here and there. The womens smile in his direction

every chance they git. He never look at me or even notice.

46 Even the preacher got his mouth on Shug Avery, now

she down. He take her condition for his text. He don't cal no

name, but

he don't have to. Everybody know who he mean. He talk

bout a strumpet in short skirts, smoking cigarettes, drinking

gin. Singing

for money and taking other women mens. Talk bout slut,

hussy, heifer and streetcleaner.

I cut my eyes back at Mr. ??? when he say that.

Streetcleaner. Somebody got to stand up for Shug, I think.

But he don't say nothing.

He cross his legs first to one side, then to the other. He

gaze out the window. The same women smile at him, say

amen gainst Shug.

But once us home he never stop to take off his clothes. He

cal down to Harpo and Sofia house. Harpo come running.

Hitch up the wagon, he say.

Where us going? say Harpo.

Hitch up the wagon, he say again.

Harpo hitch up the wagon. They stand there and talk a few

minutes out by the barn. Then Mr. ??? drive off.

One good thing bout the way he never do any work round

the place, us never miss him when he gone.

Five days later I look way off up the road and see the

wagon coming back.' It got sort of a canopy over it now,

made out of old

blankets or something. My heart begin to beat like furry,

and the first thing I try to do is change my dress.

But too late for that. By time I git my head and arm out the

old dress, I see the wagon pul up in the yard. Plus a new

dress won't

help none with my notty head and dusty headrag, my old

everyday shoes and the way I smel .

47 I don't know what to do, I'm so beside myself. I stand

there in the middle of the kitchen. Mind whirling. I feels like

Who Would

Have Thought.

Celie, Ihear Mr. ??? cal . Harpo.

Istick my head and my arm back in my old dress and wipe

the sweat and dirt off my face as best I can. I come to the

door. Yessir?

I ast, and trip over the broom I was sweeping with when I

first notice the wagon.

Harpo and Sofia in the yard now, looking inside the wagon.

They faces grim.

Who this? Harpo ast.

The woman should have been your mammy, he say.

Shug Avery? Harpo ast. He look up at me.

Help me git her in the house, Mr. ??? say.

I think my heart gon fly out my mouth when I see one of her

foots come poking out.

She not lying down. She climbing down tween Harpo and

Mr. ___. And she dress to kil . She got on a red wool dress

and chestful

of black beads. A shiny black hat with what look like

chickinhawk feathers curve down side one cheek, and she

carrying a little

snakeskin bag, match her shoes.

She look so stylish it like the trees al round the house draw

themself up tal for a better look. Now I see she stumble,

tween

the two men. She don't seem that wel acquainted with her

feets.

Close up I see al this yel ow powder caked up on her face.

Red rouge. She look like she ain't long for this world but

dressed

wel for the next. But I know better.

Come on in, I want to cry. To shout. Come on in. With God

help, Celie going to make you wel . But I don't say nothing. It

not my

house. Also I ain't been told nothing.

They git halfway up the step, Mr. ??? look up at me. Celie,

he say. This here Shug Avery. Old friend of

48 the family. Fix up the spare room. Then he look down at

her, hold her in one arm, hold on to the rail with the other.

Harpo

on the other side, looking sad. Sofia and the children in the

yard, watching.

I don't move at once, cause I can't. I need to see her eyes. I

feel like once I see her eyes my feets can let go the spot

where

they stuck.

Git moving, he say, sharp.

And then she look up.

Under al that powder her face black as Harpo. She got a

long pointed nose and big fleshy mouth. Lips look like black

plum. Eyes

big, glossy. Feverish. And mean. Like, sick as she is, if a

snake cross her path, she kil it.

She look me over from head to foot. Then she cackle.

Sound like a death rattle. You sure is ugly, she say, like she

ain't believed

it.

49

Ain't nothing wrong with Snug Avery. She just sick. Sicker

than anybody I ever seen. She sicker than my mama was

when she die.

But she more evil than my mama and that keep her alive.

Mr. ??? be in the room with her al time of the night or day.

He don't hold her hand though. She too evil for that. Turn

loose

my goddam hand, she say to Mr. _____. What the matter

with you, you crazy? I don't need no weak little boy can't say

no to his

daddy hanging on me. I need me a man, she say. A man.

She look at him and rol her eyes and laugh. It not much of a

laugh but

it keep him away from the bed. He sit over in the corner

away from the lamp. Sometime she wake up in the night

and don't even

see. But he there. Sitting in the shadows chewing on his

pipe. No tobacco in it. First thing she said, I don't want to

smel no

stinking blankety-blank pipe, you hear me, Albert?

Who Albert, I wonder. Then I remember Albert Mr. ??? first

name.

Mr. ___ don't smoke. Don't drink. Don't even

50 hardly eat. He just got her in that little room, watching

every breath.

What happen to her I ast?

You don't want her here, just say so, he say. Won't do no

good. But if that the way you feel... He don't finish.

I want her here, I say, too quick. He look at me like maybe

I'm planning something bad.

I just want to know what happen, I say.

I look at his face. It tired and sad and I notice his chin weak.

Not much chin there at al . I have more chin, I think. And his

clothes dirty, dirty. When he pul them off, dust rise.

Nobody fight for Shug, he say. And a little water come to his

eyes.

51

They have made three babies together but he squeamish

bout giving her a bath. Maybe he figure he start thinking

bout things he

shouldn't. But what bout me? First time I got the ful sight of

Shug Avery long black body with it black plum nipples, look

like

her mouth, I thought I had turned into a man.

What you staring at? she ast. Hateful. She weak as a kitten.

But her mouth just pack with claws You never seen a naked

woman before?

No ma'am, I said. I never did. Cept for Sofia, and she so

plump and ruddy and crazy she feel like my sister.

She say, Wel take a good look. Even if I is just a bag of

bones now. She have the nerve to put one hand on her

naked hip and bat

her eyes at me. Then she suck her teef and rol her eyes at

the ceiling while I wash her.

I wash her body, it feel like I'm praying. My hands tremble

and my breath short.

She say, You ever have any kids?

I say, Yes ma'am.

She say, How many and don't you yes ma'am me, I ain't that

old.

52 I say, two.

She ast me Where they is? I say, I don't know. She look at

me funny.

My kids with they grandma, she say. She could stand the

kids, I had to go. You miss 'em? I ast. Naw, she say. I don't

miss nothing.

53

I ast Shug Avery what she want for breakfast. She say,

What yal got? I say ham, grits, eggs, biscuits, coffee, sweet

milk or butter

milk, flapjacks. Jel y and jam.

She say, Is that al ? What about orange juice, grapefruit,

strawberries and cream. lea. Then she laugh.

I don't want none of your damn food, she say. Just gimme a

cup of coffee and hand me my cigarettes.

I don't argue. I git the coffee and light her cigarette. She

wearing a long white gown and her thin black hand

stretching out of

it to hold the white cigarette looks just right. Something bout

it, maybe the little tender veins I see and the big ones I try

not to, make me scared. I feel like something pushing me

forward. If I don't watch out I'l have hold of her hand, tasting

her

fingers in my mouth.

Can I sit in here and eat with you? I ast.

She shrug. She busy looking at a magazine. White women

in it laughing, holding they beads out on one finger, dancing

on top of

motocars. Jumping into

54 fountains. She flip the pages. Look dissatisfied. Remind

me of a child trying to git something out a toy it can't work

yet.

She drink her coffee, puff on her cigarette. I bite into a big

juicy piece of home cured ham. You can smel this ham for

a mile

when you cooking it, it perfume up her little room with no

trouble at al .

I lavish butter on a hot biscuit, sort of wave it about. I sop up

ham gravey and splosh my eggs in with my grits.

She blow more and more smoke. Look down in her coffee

like maybe its something solid at the bottom.

Final y she say, Celie, I believe I could drink a glass of

water. And this here by the bed ain't fresh.

She hold out her glass.

I put my plate down on the card table by the bed. I go dip

her up some water. I come back, pick up my plate. Look

like a little

mouse been rabbling the biscuit, a rat run off with the ham.

She act like nothing happen. Begin to complain bout being

tired. Doze on off to sleep.

Mr. ??? ast me how I git her to eat. . I say, Nobody living

can stand to smel home cured ham without tasting it. If they

dead

they got a chance. Maybe.

Mr. ??:? laugh.

I notice something crazy in his eyes.

I been scared, he say. Scared. And he cover up his eyes

with his hands.

55

Shug Avery sit up in bed a little today. I wash and comb out

her hair. She got the nottiest, shortest, kinkiest hair I ever

saw,

and I loves every strand of it. The hair that come out in my

comb I kept. Maybe one day I'l get a net, make me a rat to

pomp

up my own hair.

I work on her like she a dol or like she Olivia?or like she

mama. I comb and pat, comb and pat. First she say, hurry

up and git

finish. Then she melt down a little and lean back gainst my

knees. That feel just right, she say. That feel like mama

used to

do. Or maybe not mama. Maybe grandma. She reach for

another cigarette. Start hum a little tune.

What that song? I ast. Sound low down dirty to me. Like

what the preacher tel you its sin to hear. Not to mention

sing.

She hum a little more. Something come to me, she say.

Something I made up. Something you help scratch out my

head.

56

Mr. ??? daddy show up this evening. He a little short shrunk

up man with a bald head and gold spectacles. He clear his

throat a

lot, like everything he say need announcement. Talk with his

head leant to the side.

He come right to the point.

Just couldn't rest til you got her in your house, could you?

he say, coming up the step.

Mr. ??? don't say nothing. Look out cross the railing at the

trees, over the top of the wel . Eyes rest on the top of Harpo

and

Sofia house.

Won't you have a seat? I ast, pushing him up a chair. How

bout a cool drink of water?

Through the window I hear Shug humming and humming,

practicing her little song. I sneak back to her room and shet

the window.

Old Mr. ___ say to Mr. ???, Just what is it bout this Shug

Avery anyway, he say. She black as tar, she nappy headed.

She got legs

like basebal bats.

Mr..?,? don't say nothing. I drop little spit in Old Mr. ???

water.

57 Why, say Old Mr. ???, she ain't even clean. I hear she

got the nasty woman disease.

I twirl the spit round with my finger. I think bout ground glass,

wonder how you grind it. But I don't feel mad at al . Just

interest.

Mr. ??? turn his head slow, watch his daddy drink. Then

say, real sad, You ain't got it in you to understand, he say. I

love Snug

Avery. Always have, always wil . I should have married her

when I had the chance.

Yeah, say Old Mr. ???. And throwed your life away. (Mr.

???. grunt right there.) And a right smart of my money with

it. Old Mr.

??? clear his throat. Nobody even sure exactly who her

daddy is.

I never care who her daddy is, say Mr. ???.

And her mammy take in white people dirty clothes to this

day. Plus al her children got different daddys. It al just too

trifling

and confuse.

Wel , say Mr. ??? and turn ful face on his daddy, Al Shug

Avery children got the same daddy. I vouch for that.

Old Mr. ??? clear his throat. Wel , this my house. This my

land. Your boy Harpo in one of my houses, on my land.

Weeds come up

on my land, I chop 'em up. Trash blow over it I burn it. He

rise to go. Hand me his glass. Next time he come I put a

little Shug

Avery pee in his glass. See how he like that.

Celie, he say, you have my sympathy. Not many women let

they husband whore lay up in they house.

But he not saying to me, he saying it to Mr. ???.

Mr. ??? look up at me, our eyes meet. This the closest us

ever felt.

He say, Hand Pa his hat, Celie.

And I do. Mr. ??? don't move from his chair by

58 the railing. I stand in the door. Us watch Old Mr. ???

begin harrumping and harrumping down the road home.

Next one come visit, his brother Tobias. He real fat and tal ,

look like a big yel ow bear. Mr. ??? smal like his daddy, his

brother

stand way tal er.

Where she at? he ast, grinning. Where the Queen

Honeybee? Got something for her, he say. He put little box

of chocolate on the

railing.

She sleeping, I say. Didn't sleep much last night.

How you doing there, Albert, he say, dragging up a chair.

He run his hand over his slicked back hair and try to feel if

there's

a bugga in his nose. Wipe his hand on his pants. Shake out

the crease.

I just heard Shug Avery was here, he say. How long you had

her?

Oh, say Mr. ???, couple of months.

Hel , say Tobias, I heard she was dying. That goes to show,

don't it, that you can't believe everything you hear. He

smooth down

his mustache, run his tongue out the coiners of his lips.

What you know good, Miss Celie? he say.

Not much, I say.

Me and Sofia piecing another quilt together. I got bout five

squares pieced, spread out on the table by my knee. My

basket ful

of scraps on the floor.

Always busy, always busy, he say. I wish Margaret was

more like you. Save me a bundle of money.

Tobias and his daddy always talk bout money like they stil

got a lot. Old Mr. ??_ been sel ing off the place so that

nothing much

left but the houses and the fields. My and Harpo fields bring

in more than anybody.

59 I piece on my square. Look at the colors of the cloth.

Then I hear Tobias chair fal back and he say, Shug.

Shug halfway tween sick and wel . Halfway tween good and

evil, too. Most days now she show me and Mr. ??? her

good side. But evil

al over her today. She smile, like a razor opening. Say,

Wel , wel , look who's here today.

She wearing a little flowery shift I made for her and nothing

else. She look bout ten with her hair al cornrowed. She

skinny as

a bean, and her face ful of eyes.

Me and Mr. ??? both look up at her. Both move to help her

sit down. She don't look at him. She pul up a chair next to

me.

She pick up a random piece of cloth out the basket. Hold it

up to the light. Frown. How you sew this damn thing? she

say.

I hand her the square I'm working on, start another one. She

sew long crooked stiches, remind me of that little crooked

tune she

sing.

That real good, for first try, I say. That just fine and dandy.

She look at me and snort. Everything I do is fine and dandy

to

you, Miss Celie, she say. But that's cause you ain't got

good sense. She laugh. I duck my head.

She got a heap more than Margaret, say Tobias. Margaret

take that needle and sew your nostrils together.

Al womens not alike, Tobias, she say. Believe it or not.

Oh, I believe it, he say. Just can't prove it to the world.

60 First time I think about the world.

What the world got to do with anything, I think. Then I see

myself sitting there quilting tween Shug Avery and Mr. ???.

Us three

set together gainst Ibbias and his fly speck box of

chocolate. Fbr the first time hi my life, I feel just right.

61

Me and Sofia work on the quilt. Got it frame up on the

porch. Shug Avery donate her old yel ow dress for scrap,

and I work in a

piece every chance I get. It a nice pattern cal Sister's

Choice. If the quilt turn out perfect, maybe I give it to her, if it not perfect, maybe I keep. I want it for myself, just for the

little yel ow pieces, look like stars, but not. Mr..??? and

Shug

walk up the road to the mailbox. The house quiet, cept for

the flies. They swing through every now and then, drunk

from eating

and enjoying the heat, buzz enough to make me drowsy.

Sofia look like something on her mind, she just not sure

what. She bend over the frame, sew a little while, then rear

back in her

chair and look out cross the yard. Final y she rest her

needle, say, Why do people eat, Miss Celie, tel me that.

To stay alive, I say. What else? Course some folks eat

cause food taste good to 'em. Then some is gluttons. They

love to feel they

mouth work.

Them the only reasons you can think of? she ast.

62 Wel , sometime it might be a case of being

undernourish, I say.

She muse. He not undernourish, she say.

Who ain't? I ast.

Harpo. She say.

Harpo?

He eating more and more every day.

Maybe he got a tape worm?

She frown. Naw, she say. I don't think it a tape worm. Tape

worm make you hungry. Harpo eat when he ain't even

hungry.

What, force it down? This hard to believe, but sometime

you hear new things everyday. Not me, you understand, but

some folk do

say that.

Last night for supper he ate a whole pan of biscuits by

himself.

Naw. I say.

He sure did. And had two big glasses of butter milk along

with it. This was after supper was over, too. I was giving the

children

they baths, getting 'em ready for bed. He sposed to be

washing the dishes. Stead of washing plates, he cleaning

'em with his mouth.

Wel maybe he was extra hungry. Yal is been working hard.

Not that hard, she say. And this morning, for breakfast, darn

if he didn't have six eggs. After al that food he look too sick

to walk. When us got to the field I thought he was going to

fault.

If Sofia say darn something wrong. Maybe he don't want to

wash dishes, I say. His daddy never wash a dish in his life.

You reckon? she say. He seem so much to love it. To tel

the truth, he love that part of housekeeping a heap more 'en

me. I rather

be out in the fields or fooling with

63 the animals. Even chopping wood. But he love cooking

and cleaning and doing little things round the house.

He sure is a good cook, I say. Big surprise to me that he

knew anything about it. He never cooked so much as a egg

when he lived

at home.

I bet he wanted to, she said. It seem so natural to him. But

Mr. ???. You know how he is.

Oh, he al right, I say.

You feeling yourself, Miss Celie? Sofia ast.

I mean, he al right in some things, not in others.

Oh, she say. Anyway, next time he come here, notice if he

eat anything.

I notice what he eat al right. First thing, coming up the

steps, I give him a close look. He stil skinny, bout half Sofia

size,

but I see a little pot beginning under his overal s.

What you got to eat, Miss Celie? he say, going straight to

the warmer and a piece of fried chicken, then on to the safe

for a slice

of blackberry pie. He stand by the table and munch, munch.

You got any sweet milk? he ast.

Got clabber, I say.

He say, Wel , I love clabber. And dip him out some.

Sofia must not be feeding you, I say.

Why you say that? he ast with his mouth ful .

Wel , it not that long after dinner and here you is hungry

again.

He don't say nothing. Eat.

Course, I say, suppertime not too far off either. Bout three

four hours.

He rummage through the drawer for a spoon to eat the

clabber with. He see a slice of cornbread on the shelf back

of the stove,

he grab it and crumble it into the glass.

64 Us go back out on the porch and he put his foots up on

the railing. Eat his clabber and cornbread with the glass

near bout to

his nose. Remind me of a hog at the troth.

Food tasting like food to you these days huh, I say, listening

to him chew.

He don't say nothing. Eat.

I look out cross the yard. I see Sofia dragging a ladder and

then lean it up gainst the house. She wearing a old pair of

Harpo

pants. Got her head tied up in a headrag. She clam up the

ladder to the roof, begin to hammer hi nails. Sound echo

cross the yard

like shots.

Harpo eat, watch her.

Then he belch. Say, Scuse me, Miss Celie. lake the glass

and spoon back in the kitchen. Come out and say Bye.

No matter what happening now. No matter who come. No

matter what they say or do, Harpo eat through it. Food on

his mind morning,

noon and night. His bel y grow and grow, but the rest of him

don't. He begin to look like he big.

When it due? us ast.

Harpo don't say nothing. Reach for another piece of pie.

65

Harpo staying with us this week-end. Friday night after Mr.

??? and Shug and me done gone to bed, I heard this

somebody crying.

Harpo sitting out on the steps, crying like his heart gon

break. Oh, boo-hoo, and boo-hoo. He got his head in his

hands, tears

and snot running down his chin. I give him a hansker. He

blow his nose, look up at me out of two eyes close like fists.

What happen to your eyes? I ast.

He clam round in his mind for a story to tel , then fal back

on the truth.

Sofia, he say.

You stil bothering Sofia? I ast.

She my wife, he say.

That don't mean you got to keep on bothering her, I say.

Sofia love you, she a good wife. Good to the children and

good looking.

Hardworking. God fearing and clean. Idon't know what

more you want.

Harpo sniffle.

66 I want her to do what I say, like you do for Pa.

Oh, Lord, I say.

When Pa tel you to do something, you do it, he say. When

he say not to, you don't. You don't do what he say, he beat

you.

Sometime beat me anyhow, I say, whether I do what he say

or not.

That's right, say Harpo. But not Sofia. She do what she

want, don't pay me no mind at al . I try to beat her, she black

my eyes.

Oh, boo-hoo, he cry. Boo-hoo-hoo.

I start to take back my hansker. Maybe push him and his

black eyes off the step. I think bout Sofia. She tickle me. I

used to hunt

game with a bow and arrow, she say.

Some womens can't be beat, I say. Sofia one of them.

Besides, Sofia love you. She probably be happy to do most

of what you say

if you ast her right. She not mean, she not spiteful. She

don't hold a grudge.

He sit there hanging his head, looking retard.

Harpo, I say, giving him a shake, Sofia loveyou. You

loveSofia.

He look up at me best he can out his fat little eyes. Yes

ma'am? he say.

Mr. ??? marry me to take care of his children. I marry him

cause my daddy made me. I don't love Mr. ??? and he don't

love me.

But you his wife, he say, just like Sofia mine. The wife

spose to mind.

Do Shug Avery mind Mr. ???? I ast. She the woman he

wanted to marry. She cal him Albert, tel him his drawers

stink in a minute.

Little as he is, when she git her weight back she can sit on

him if he try to bother her.

67 Why I mention weight. Harpo start to cry again. Then he

start to be sick. He lean over the edge of the step and vomit

and vomit.

Look like every piece of pie for the last year come up.

When he empty I put him in the bed next to Shug's little

room. He fal

right off to sleep.

67

68

I go visit Sofia, she stil working on the roof.

The darn thing leak, she say.

She out to the woodpile making shingles. She put a big

square piece of wood on the chopping block and chop,

chop, she make big

flat shingles. She put the ax down and ast me do I want

some lemonade.

I look at her good. Except for a bruise on her wrist, she

don't look like she got a scratch on her.

How it going with you and Harpo? I ast.

Wel , she say, he stop eating so much. But maybe this just

a spel .

He trying to git as big as you, I say.

She suck in her breath. I kinda thought so, she say, and let

out her breath real slow.

Al the children come running up, Mama, Mama, us want

lemonade. She pour out five glasses for them, two for us.

Us sit in a wooden

swing she made last summer and hung on the shady end of

the porch.

I'm gitting tired of Harpo, she say. Al he think about since

us married is how to make me mind. He don't want a wife,

he want

a dog.

69 He your husband, I say. Got to stay with him. Else, what

you gon do?

My sister husband caught in the draft, she say. They don't

have no children, Odessa love children. He left her on a little

farm.

Maybe I go stay with them a while. Me and my children.

I think bout my sister Nettie. Thought so sharp it go through

me like a pain. Somebody to run to. It seem too sweet to

bear.

Sofia go on, frowning at her glass.

I don't like to go to bed with him no more, she say. Used to

be when he touch me I'd go al out my head. Now when he

touch me I

just don't want to be bothered. Once he git on top of me I

think bout how that's where he always want to be. She sip

her lemonade.

I use to love that part of it, she say. I use to chase him home

from the field. Git al hot just watching him put the children

to bed. But no more. Now I feels tired al the time. No

interest.

Now, now, I say. Sleep on it some, maybe it come back.

But I say this just to be saying something. I don't know

nothing bout it.

Mr. ??? clam on top of me, do his business, in ten minutes

us both sleep. Only time I feel something stirring down there

is when

I think bout Shug. And that like running to the end of the

road and it turn back on itself.

You know the worst part? she say. The worst part is I don't

think he notice. He git up there and enjoy himself just the

same. No

matter what I'm thinking. No matter what I feel. It just him.

Heartfeeling don't even seem to enter into it. She snort. The

fact

he can do it like that make me want to kil him.

Us look up the path to the house, see Shug and Mr. ___

sitting on the steps. He reach over and pick something out

her hair.

70 I don't know, say Sofia. Maybe I won't go. Deep down I

stil love Harpo, but?he just makes me realtired. She yawn.

Laugh. I

need a vacation, she say. Then she go back to the

woodpile, start making some more shingles for the roof.

70

71

Sofia right about her sisters. They al big strong healthy

girls, look like amazons. They come early one morning in

two wagons

to pick Sofia up. She don't have much to take, her and the

children clothes, a mattress she made last winter, a looking

glass

and a rocking chair. The children.

Harpo sit on the steps acting like he don't care. He making

a net for seining fish. He look out toward the creek every

once in

a while and whistle a little tune. But it nothing compared to

the way he usual y whistle. His little whistle sound like it lost

way down in a jar, and the jar in the bottom of the creek.

At the last minute I decide to give Sofia the quilt. I don't

know what her sister place be like, but we been having right

smart

cold weather long in now. For al I know, she and the

children have to sleep on the floor.

You gon let her go? I ast Harpo.

He look like only a fool could ast the question. He puff back,

She made up her mind to go, he say. How I'm gon stop

her? Let her

go on, he say, cutting his eyes at her sister wagons.

72 Us sit on the steps together. Al us hear from inside is

the thump, thump, thump of plump and stout feet. Al Sofia

sisters

moving round together at one time make the house shake.

Where us going? ast the oldest girl.

Going to visit Aunt Odessa, say Sofia.

Daddy coming? she ast.

Naw, say Sofia.

How come daddy ain't coming? another one ast.

Daddy need to stay here and take care of the house. Look

after Dilsey, Coco and Boo.

The child come stand in front of his daddy and just look at

him real good.

You not coming? he say.

Harpo say, Naw.

Child go whisper to the baby crawling round on the floor,

Daddy not coming with us, what you think of that.

Baby sit real stil , strain real hard, fart.

Us al laugh, but it sad too. Harpo pick it up, finger the

daidie, and get her ready for a change.

I don't think she wet, say Sofia. Just gas.

But he change her anyway. Him and the baby over in a

corner of the little porch out of the way of traffic. He use the

old dry daidie

to wipe his eyes.

At the last, he hand Sofia the baby and she sling it up side

her hip, sling a sack of daidies and food over her shoulder,

corral

al the little ones together, tel 'em to Say Good-bye to

Daddy. Then she hug me best she can what with the baby

and al , and

she clam up on the wagon. Every sister just about got a

child tween her knees, cept the two driving the mules, and

they al quiet

as they leave Sofia and Harpo yard and drive on up past

the house.

73

Sofia gone six months, Harpo act like a different man.

Used to be a homebody, now al the time in the road.

I ast him what going on. He say, Miss Celie, I done learned

a few things.

One thing he learned is that he cute. Another that he smart.

Plus, he can make money. He don't say who the teacher is.

I hadn't heard so much hammering since before Sofia left,

but every evening after he leave the field, he knocking down

and nailing

up. Sometime his friend Swain come by to help. The two of

them work al into the night. Mr. ??? have to cal down to tel

them

to shut up the racket.

What you building? I ast.

Jukejoint, he say.

Way back here?

No further back than any of the others.

I don't know nothing bout no others, only bout the Lucky

Star.

Jukejoint sposed to be back in the woods, say Harpo.

74 Nobody be bothered by the loud music. The dancing.

Hie fights.

Swain say, the kil ings.

Harpo say, and the polices don't know where to look.

What Sofia gon say bout what you doing to her house? I

ast. Spose she and the children come back. Where they

gon sleep.

They ain't coming back, say Harpo, nailing together planks

for a counter.

How you know? I ast.

He don't answer. He keep working, doing every thing with

Swain.

75

The first week, nobody come. Second week, three or four.

Third week, one. Harpo sit behind his little counter listening

to Swain

pick his box.

He got cold drinks, he got barbecue, he 'got chit-lins, got

store bought bread. He got a sign saying Harpo's tacked

up on the side

of the house and another one out on the road. But he ain't

got no customers.

I go down the path to the yard, stand outside, look in. Harpo

look out and wave.

Come on in, Miss Celie, he say.

I say, Naw thank you.

Mr. ??? sometime walk down, have a cold drink, listen to

Swain. Miss Shug walk down too, every once in a while.

She stil wearing

her little shifts, and I stil cornrow her hair, but it getting long now and she say soon she want it press.

Harpo puzzle by Shug. One reason is she say whatever

come to mind, forgit about polite. Sometime I see him

staring at her real

hard when he don't think I'm looking.

76 One day he say, Nobody coming way out here just to

hear Swain. Wonder could I get the Queen Honeybee?

I don't know, I said. She a lot better now, always humming

or singing something. She probably be glad to git back to

work. Why

don't you ask her?

Shug say his place not much compared to what she used

to, but she think maybe she might grace it with a song.

Harpo and Swain got Mr, ??? to give 'em some of Shug old

announcements from out the trunk. Crossed out The Lucky

Star of Coalman

Road, put in Harpo's of ___ plantation. Stuck 'em on trees

tween the turn off to our road and town. The first Saturday

night so

many folks come they couldn't git in.

Shug, Shug baby, us thought you was dead.

Five out of a dozen say hel o to Shug like that.

And come to find out it was you, Shug say with a big grin.

At last I git to see Shug Avery work. I git to watch her. I git to

hear her.

Mr. ___ didn't want me to come. Wives don't go to places

like that, he say.

Yeah, but Celie going, say Shug, while I press her hair.

Spose I git sick while I'm singing, she say. Spose my dress

come undone?

She wearing a skintight red dress look like the straps made

out of two pieces of thread.

Mr. ??? mutter, putting on his clothes. My wife can't do this.

My wife can't do that. No wife of mines ... He go on and on.

Shug Avery final y say, Good thing I ain't your damn wife.

He hush then. Al three of us go down to Harpo's. Mr. ???

and me sit at the same table. Mr. _??drink whiskey. I have

a cold drink.

77 First Shug sing a song by somebody name Bessie

Smith. She say Bessie somebody she know. Old friend. It

cal A Good Man Is Hard

to Find. She look over at Mr. ??? a little when she sing that.

I look over at him too. For such a little man, he al puff up.

Look like al he can do to stay in his chair. I look at Shug

and I feel my heart begin to cramp. It hurt me so, I cover it

with

my hand. I think I might as wel be under the table, for al

they care. I hate the way I look, I hate the way I'm dress.

Nothing

but churchgoing clothes in my chifferobe. And Mr. ???

looking at Shug's bright black skin in her tight red dress,

her feet in

little sassy red shoes. Her hair shining in waves.

Before I know it, tears meet under my chin.

And I'm confuse.

He love looking at Shug. I love looking at Shug.

But Shug don't love looking at but one of us. Him.

But that the way it spose to be. I know that. But if that so,

why my heart hurt me so?

My head droop so it near bout in my glass.

Then I hear my name.

Shug saying Celie. Miss Celie. And I look up where she at.

She say my name again. She say this song I'm bout to sing

is cal Miss Celie's song. Cause she scratched it out of my

head when

I was sick.

First she hum it a little, like she do at home. Then she sing

the words.

It al about some no count man doing her wrong, again. But I

don't listen to that part. I look at her and I hum along a little

with the tune.

First time somebody made something and name it after

me.

78

Pretty soon it be time for Shug to go. She sing every week-

end now at Harpo's. He make right smart money off of her,

and she make

some too. Plus she gitting strong again and stout. First

night or two her songs come out good but a little weak, now

she belt

them out. Folks out in the yard hear her with no trouble. She

and Swain sound real good together. She sing, he pick his

box. It

nice at Harpo's. Little tables al round the room with candles

on them that I made, lot of little tables outside too, by the

creek.

Sometime I look down the path from our house and it look

like a swarm of lightening bugs al in and through Sofia

house. In the

evening Shug can't wait to go down there.

One day she say to me, Wel , Miss Cetie, I believe it time

for me to go.

When? I ast.

Early next month, she say. June. June a good time to go off

into the world.

I don't say nothing. Feel like I felt when Nettie left.

She come over and put her hand on my shoulder.

He beat me when you not here,. I say. 78

79 Who do, she say, Albert?

Mr. ???, I say.

I can't believe it, she say. She sit down on the bench next to

me real hard, like she drop.

What he beat you for? she ast.

For being me and not you.

Oh, Miss Celie, she say, and put her arms around me.

Us sit like that for maybe half a hour. Then she kiss me on

the fleshy part of my shoulder and stand .up.

I won't leave, she say, until I know Albert won't even think

about beating you.

80

Now we al know she going sometime soon, they sleep

together at night. Not every night, but almost every night,

from Friday to

Monday.

He go down to Harpo's to watch her sing. And just to look at

her. Then way late they come home. They giggle and they

talk and they

rassle until morning. Then they go to bed until it time for her

to get ready to go back to work.

First time it happen, it was a accident. Feeling just carried

them away. That what Shug say. He don't say nothing.

She ast me, Tel me the truth, she say, do you mind if Albert

sleep with me?

I think, I don't care who Albert sleep with. But I don't say that.

I say, You might git big again.

She say, Naw, not with my sponge and al .

You stil love him, I ast.

She say, I got what you cal a passion for him. If I was ever

going to have a husband he'd a been it. But he weak, she

say. Can't

make up his mind what he want.

81 And from what you tel me he a bul y. Some things I love

about him though, she say. He smel right to me. He so little.

He make

me laugh.

You like to sleep with him? I ast.

Yeah, Celie she say, I have to confess, I just loveit. Don't

you?

Naw, I say. Mr. ??? can tel 'you, I don't like it at al . What is it like? He git up on you, heist your nightgown round your

waist,

plunge in. Most times I pretend I ain't there. He never know

the difference. Never ast me how I feel, nothing. Just do his

business,

get off, go to sleep.

She start to laugh. Do his business, she say. Do his

business. Why, Miss Celie. You make it sound like he

going to the toilet on

you.

That what it feel like, I say.

She stop laughing.

You never enjoy it at al ? she ast, puzzle. Not even with your

children daddy?

Never, I say.

Why Miss Celie, she say, you stil a virgin.

What? I ast..

Listen, she say, right down there in your pussy is a little

button that gits real hot when you do you know what with

somebody.

It git boner and hotter and then it melt. That the good part.

But other parts good too, she say. Lot of sucking go on,

here and

there, she say. Lot of finger and tongue work.

Button? Finger and tongue? My face hot enough to melt

itself.

She say. Here, take this mirror and go look at yourself

down there, I bet you never seen it, have you?

Naw.

And I bet you never seen Albert down there either. 81

82 I felt him, I say.

I stand there with the mirror.

She say, What, too shame even to go off and look at

yourself? And you look so cute too, she say, laughing. Al

dressed up for Harpo's,

smel ing good and everything, but scared to look at your

own pussy.

You come with me while I look, I say.

And us run off to my room like two little prankish girls.

You guard the door, I say.

She giggle. Okay, she say. Nobody coming. Coast clear.

I lie back on the bed and haul up my dress. Yank down my

bloomers. Stick the looking glass tween my legs. Ugh. Al

that hair. Then

my pussy lips be black. Then inside look like a wet rose.

It a lot prettier than you thought, ain't it? she say from the

door.

It mine, I say. Where the button?

Right up near the top, she say. The part that stick out a little.

I look at her and touch it with my finger. A little shiver go

through me. Nothing much. But just enough to tel me this

the right

button to mash. Maybe.

She say, While you looking, look at your titties too. I haul up

my dress and look at my titties. Think bout my babies

sucking them.

Remember the little shiver I felt then too. Sometimes a big

shiver. Best part about having the babies was feeding 'em.

Albert and Harpo coming, she say. And I yank up my

drawers and yank down my dress. I feel like us been doing

something wrong.

I don't care if you sleep with him, I say.

And she take me at my word. 82

83 I take me at my word too.

But when I hear them together al I can do is pul the quilt

over my head and finger my little button and titties and cry.

84

One night while Shug singing a hot one, who should come

prancing through the door of Harpo's but Sofia.

She with a big tal hefty man look like a prize fighter.

She her usual stout and bouncy self.

Oh, Miss Celie, she cry. It so good to see you again. It even

good to see Mr. ?:??, she say. She take one of his hands.

Even if

his handshake is a little weak, she say.

He act real glad to see her.

Here, pul up a chair, he say. Have a cold drink.

Gimme a shot of white lightening, she say.

Prizefighter pul up a chair, straddle it backwards, hug on

Sofia like they at home.

I see Harpo cross the room with his little yel owskin

girlfriend. He look at Sofia like she a hant.

This Henry Broadnax, Sofia say. Everybody cal him Buster.

Good friend of the family.

How you al ? he say. He smile pleasant and us keep

listening to the music. Shug wearing a gold dress that show

her titties near

bout to the nipple. Everybody sorta hoping something

break. But that dress strong.

85 Man oh man, say Buster. Fire department won't do.

Somebody cal the Law.

Mr. ??? whisper to Sofia. Where your children at?

She whisper back, My children at home, whereyours?' \ .

He don't say nothing.

Both the girls bigged and gone. Bub hi and out of jail. If his

grandaddy wasn't the colored uncle of the sheriff who look

just

like Bub, Bub be lynch by now.

I can't git over how good Sofia look.

Most women with five children look a little peaked, I say to

her cross the table when Shug finish her song. You look like

you ready

for five more.

Oh, she say, I got six children now, Miss Celie.

Six. Iam shock.

She toss her head, look over at Harpo. Life don't stop just

cause you leave home, Miss Celie. You know that.

My life stop when I left home, I think. But then I think again. It

stop with Mr. ??? maybe, but start up again with Shug.

Shug come over and she and Sofia hug.

Shug say, Girl, you look like a good time, you do.

That when I notice how Shug talk and act sometimes nice a

man. Men say stuff like that to women, Girl, you look like a

good time.

Women always talk bout hair and health. How many babies

living or dead, or got teef. Not bout how some woman they

hugging on look

like a good time.

Al the men got they eyes glued to Shug's bosom. I got my

eyes glued there too. I feel my nipples harden under my

dress. My little

button sort of perk up too. Shug, I say to her hi my mind,

Girl, you looks like a real good time, the Good Lord knows

you do.

86 What you doing here? ast Harpo.

Sofia say, Come to hear Miss Shug. You got a nice place

here Harpo. She look around. This and that her eyes

admire.

Harpo say, It just a scandless, a woman with five children

hanging out in a jukejoint at night.

Sofia eye go cool. She look him up and down.

Since he quit stuffing himself, he gained a bunch of weight,

face, head and al , mostly from drinking home brew and

eating left-over

barbecue. By now he just about her size.

A woman need a little fun, once in a while, she say.

A woman need to be at home, he say.

She say, This is my home. Though I do think it go better as

a jukejoint.

Harpo look at the prize fighter. Prizefighter push back his

chair a little, pick up his drink.

I don't fight Sofia battle, he say. My job to love her and take

her where she want to go.

Harpo breathe some relief.

Let's dance, he say.

Sofia laugh, git up. Put both arms round his neck. They slow

drag out cross the floor.

Harpo little yel owish girlfriend sulk, hanging over the bar.

She a nice girl, friendly and everything, but she like me. She

do

anything Harpo say.

He give her a little nickname, too, cal her Squeak.

Pretty soon Squeak git up her nerve to try to cut. in.

Harpo try to turn Sofia so she can't see. But Squeak keep

on tapping and tapping on his shoulder.

Final y he and Sofia stop dancing. They bout two feet from

our table.

Shug say, uh-oh, and point with her chin, somethingbout to

blow right there.'

87 Who dis woman, say Squeak, in this little teenouncy

voice.

You know who she is, say Harpo.

Squeak turn to Sofia. Say, You better leave him alone.

Sofia say, Fine with me. She turn round to leave.

Harpo grab her by the arm. Say, You don't have to go no

where. Hel , this your house.

Squeak say, \i^iat you mean, Dis her house? She walk out

on you. Walk away from the house. It over now, she say to

Sofia.

Sofia say, Fine with me. Try to pul away from Harpo grip.

He hold her tight.

Listen Squeak, say Harpo, Can't a man dance with his own

wife?

Squeak say, Not if he my man he can't. You hear that, bitch,

she say to Sofia.

Sofia gjtting a little tired of Squeak, I can tel by her ears.

They sort of push back. But she say again, sorta end of

argument

like, Hey, fine with me.

Squeak slap her up cross the head.

What she do that for. Sofia don't even deal in little ladyish

things such as slaps. She bal up her fist, draw back, and

knock

two of Squeak's side teef out, Squeak hit the floor. One toof

hanging on her lip, the other one upside my cold drink

glass.

Then Squeak start banging on Harpo leg with her shoe.

You git that bitch out a here, she cry, blood and slobber

running down her chin.

Harpo and Sofia stand side by side looking down at

Squeak, but I don't think they hear her. Harpo stil holding

Sofia arm. Maybe

half a minute go by. Final y he turn loose her arm, reach

down and cradle poor little

88 Squeak in his arms. He coo and coo at her like she a

baby.

Sofia come over and git the prizefighter. They go out the

door and don't look back. Then us hear a car motor start.

89

Harpo mope. Wipe the counter, light a cigarette, look

outdoors, walk up and down. Little Squeak run long al up

under him trying

to git his tension. Baby this, she say, Baby that. Harpo look

through her head, blow smoke.

Squeak come over to the corner where me and Mr. ??? at.

She got two bright gold teef in the side of her mouth,

general y grin al

the time. Now she cry. Miss Celie, she say, What the matter

with Harpo?

Sofia in jail, I say.

In jail? She look like I say Sofia on the moon.

What she in jail for? she ast.

Sassing the mayor's wife, I say.

Squeak pul up a chair. Look down my throat.

What your real name? I ast her. She say, Mary Agnes.

Make Harpo cal you by your real name, I say. Then maybe

he see you even when he trouble.

She look at me puzzle. I let it go. I tel her what one of Sofia

sister tel me and Mr. ???.

Sofia and the prizefighter and al the children got in

90 the prizefighter car and went to town. Clam out on the

street looking like somebody. Just then the mayor and his

wife come by.

Al these children, say the mayor's wife, digging in her

pocketbook. Cute as little buttons though, she say. She

stop, put her

hand on one of the children head. Say, and such strong

white teef.

Sofia and the prizefighter don't say nothing. Wait for her to

pass. Mayor wait too, stand back and tap his foot, watch

her with

a little smile. Now Mil ie, he say. Always going on over

colored. Miss Mil ie finger the children some more, final y

look at Sofia

and the prizefighter. She look at the prizefighter car. She

eye Sofia wristwatch. She say to Sofia, Al your children so

clean,

she say, would you like to work for me, be my maid?

Sofia say, Hel no.

She say, What you say?

Sofia say, Hel no.

Mayor look at Sofia, push his wife out the way. Stick out his

chest. Girl, what you say to Miss Mil ie?

Sofia say, I say, Hel no.

He slap her.

I stop tel ing it right there.

Squeak on the edge of her seat. She wait. Look down my

throat some more.

No need to say no more, Mr. ??? say. You know what

happen if somebody slap Sofia.

Squeak go white as a sheet. Now,she say.

Nawnothing, I say. Sofia knock the man down.

The polices come, start slinging the children off the mayor,

bang they heads together. Sofia real y start to fight. They

drag her

to the ground.

91 This far as I can go with it, look like. My eyes git ful of

water and my throat close.

Poor Squeak al scrunch down in her chair, trembling.

They beat Sofia, Mr. ??? say.

Squeak fly up like she sprung, run over hind the counter to

Harpo, put her arms round him. They hang together a long

time, cry.

What the prizefighter do in al this? I ast Sofia sister,

Odessa.

He want to jump in, she say. Sofia say No, take the children

home.

Polices have they guns on him anyway. One move, he

dead. Six of them, you know.

Mr. ??? go plead with the sheriff to let us see Sofia. Bub be

in so much trouble, look so much like the sheriff, he and Mr.

???

almost on family terms. Just long as Mr. ??? know he

colored.

Sheriff say, She a crazy woman, your boy's wife. You know

that?

Mr. ??? say, Yassur, us do know it. Been trying to tel Harpo

she crazy for twelve years. Since way before they marry.

Sofia come

from crazy peoples, Mr. ???say, it not al her fault. And then

again, the sheriff know how womens is, anyhow.

Sheriff think bout the women he know, say, Yep, you right

there.

Mr. ??? say, We gon tel her she crazy too, if us ever do git

in to see her.

Sheriff say, Wel make sure you do. And tel her she lucky

she alive.

When I see Sofia I don't know why she stil alive. They crack

her skul , they crack her ribs. They tear her nose loose on

one side.

They blind her in one eye. She

92 swole from head to foot. Her tongue the size of my arm,

it stick out tween her teef like a piece of rubber. She can't

talk.

And she just about the color of a eggplant.

Scare me so bad I near bout drop my grip. But I don't. I put

it on the floor of the cel , take out comb and brush,

nightgown, witch

hazel and alcohol and I start to work on her. The colored

tendant bring me water to wash her with, and I start at her

two little

slits for eyes.

93

They put Sofia to work in the prison laundry. Al day long

from five to eight she washing clothes. Dirty convict

uniforms, nasty

sheets and blankets piled way over her head. Us see her

twice a month for hah7 a hour. Her face yel ow and sickly,

her fingers

look like fatty sausage.

Everything nasty here, she say, even the air. Food bad

enough to kil you with it. Roaches here, mice, flies, lice and

even a snake

or two. If you say anything they strip you, make you sleep on

a cement floor without a light.

How you manage? us ast.

Every time they ast me to do something, Miss Celie, I act

like I'm you. I jump right up and do just what they say.

She look wild when she say that, and her bad eye wander

round the room.

Mr. ??? suck in his breath. Harpo groan. Miss Shug cuss.

She come from Memphis special to see Sofia.

I can't fix my mouth to say how I feel.

94 I'm a good prisoner, she say. Best convict they ever see.

They can't believe I'm the one sass the mayor's wife, knock

the mayor

down. She laugh. It sound like something from a song. The

part where everybody done gone home but you.

Twelve years a long time to be good though, she say.

Maybe you git out on good behavior, say Harpo.

Good behavior ain't good enough for them, say Sofia.

Nothing less than sliding on your bel y with your tongue on

they boots can

even git they attention. I dream of murder, she say, I dream

of murder sleep or wake.

Us don't say nothing.

How the children? she ast.

They al fine, say Harpo. Tween Odessa and Squeak, they

git by.

Say thank you to Squeak, she say. Tel Odessa I think

about hen

95

Us al sit round the table after supper. Me, Shug, Mr. ???-,

Squeak, the prizefighter, Odessa and two more of Sofia

sisters.

Sofia not gon last, say Mr. ___.

Yeah, say Harpo, she look little crazy to me.

And what she had to say, say Shug. My God.

Us got to do something, say Mr. ??? and be right quick

about it.

What can us do? ast Squeak. She look a little haggard with

al Sofia and Harpo children sprung on her at once, but she

carry on.

Hair a little stringy, slip show, but she carry on.

Bust her out, say Harpo. Git some dynamite off the gang

that's building that big bridge down the road, blow the

whole prison to

kingdom come.

Shut up,- Harpo, say Mr. ???, us trying to think.

I got it, say the prizefighter, smuggle in a gun. Wel , he rub

his chin, maybe smuggle in a file.

Naw, say Odessa. They just come after her if she leave that

way.

Me and Squeak don't say nothing. I don't know what

96 she think, but I think bout angels, God coming down by

chariot, swinging down real low and carrying ole Sofia

home. I see 'em

al as clear as day. Angels al in white, white hair and white

eyes, look like albinos. God al white too, looking like some

stout

white man work at the bank. Angels strike they cymbals,

one of them blow his horn, God blow out a big breath of fire

and suddenly

Sofia free.

Who the warden's black kinfolks? say Mr. ???.

Nobody say nothing.

Final y the prizefighter speak. What his name? he ast.

Hodges, say Harpo. Bubber Hodges.

Old man Henry Hodges' boy, say Mr. ???. Used to live out

on the old Hodges' place.

Got a brother name Jimmy? ast Squeak.

Yeah, say Mr. ???. Brother name Jimmy. Married to that

Quitman girl. Daddy own the hardware. You know them?

Squeak duck her head. Mumble something.

Say what? ast Mr. ???.

Squeak cheek turn red. She mumble again.

He your what? Mr. ??? ast.

Cousin, she say.

Mr. ??? look at her.

Daddy, she say. She cut her eye at Harpo. Look at the

floor.

He know anything bout it? ast Mr. ???.

Yeah, she say. He got three children by my mama. Two

younger than me.

His brother know anything bout it? ast Mr. ___.

One time he come by the house with Mr. Jimmy, he give us

al quarters, say we sure do look .like Hodges.

Mr. ??? rear back in his chair, give Squeak a good 96

97 look from head to foot. Squeak push her greasy brown

hair back from her face.

Yeah, say Mr. ???. I see the resemblance. He bring his

chair down on the floor.

Wel , look like you the one to go.

Go where, ast Squeak.

Go see the warden. He your uncle.

98

Us dress Squeak like she a white woman, only her clothes

patch. She got on a starch and iron dress, high heel shoes

with scuffs,

and a old hat somebody give Shug. Us give her a old

pocketbook look like a quilt and a little black bible. Us wash

her hair and

git al the grease out, then I put it up in two plaits that cross

over her head. Us bathe her so clean she smel like a good

dean

floor.

What I'm gon say? she ast.

Say you living with Sofia husband and her husband say

Sofia not being punish enough. Say she laugh af the fool

she make of the

guards. Say she gitting along just fine where she at. Happy

even, long as she don't have to be no white woman maid.

Gracious God, say Squeak, how I'm gonna tune up my

mouth to say al that?

He ast you who you is, make him remember. Tel him how

much that quarter he give you meant to you.

That was fifteen years ago, say Squeak, he ain't gonna

remember that.

99 Make him see the Hodges in you, say Odessa. He'l

remember.

Tel him you just think justice ought to be done, yourself. But

make sure he know you living with Sofia husband, say

Shug. Make

sure you git in the part bout being happy where she at,

worse thing could happen to her is to be some white lady

maid.

I don't know, say the prizefighter. This sound mighty much

like some ole uncle Tomming to me.

Shug snort, Wel , she say, Uncle Tom wasn't cal Uncle for

nothing.

100

Poor little Squeak come home with a limp. Her dress rip.

Her hat missing and one of the heels come off her shoe.

What happen? us ast.

He saw the Hodges in me, she say. And he didn't like it one

bit.

Harpo come up the steps from the car. My wife beat up, my

woman rape, he say. I ought to go back out there with guns,

maybe set

fire to the place, burn the crackers up.

Shut up, Harpo, say Squeak. I'm tel ing it.

And she do.

Say, the minute I walk through the door, he remembered

me.

What he say? us ast.

Say, What you want? I say, I come out of the interest I haves

in seeing justice is done. What you say you want? he ast

again.

I say what yal told me to say. Bout Sofia not being punish

enough. Say she happy in prison, strong girl like her. Her

main worry

is just the thought of ever being

101 some white woman maid. That what start the fight, you

know, I say. Mayor's wife ask Sofia to be her maid. Sofia

say she never

going to be no white woman's nothing, let alone maid.

That so? he ast, al the time looking me over real good.

Yessir, I say. Say, prison suit her just fine. Shoot, washing

and ironing al day is al she do at home. She got six

children,

you know.

That a fact? he say.

He come from behind his desk, lean over my chair.

Who your folks? he ast.

I tel him my mama's name, grandmama's name. Grandpa's

name.

Who your daddy? he ast. Where you git them eyes?

Ain't got no daddy ,J say.

Come on now, he say. Ain't I seen you before?

I say, Yessir. And one time bout ten years ago, when I was

a little girl, you give me a quarter. I sure did preshate it, I

say.

I don't remember that, he say.

You come by the house with my mama friend, Mr. Jimmy, I

say.

Squeak look round at al of us. Then take a deep breath.

Mumble.

Say what? ast Odessa.

Yeah, say Shug, if you can't tel us, who you gon tel , God?

He took my hat off, say Squeak. Told me to undo my dress.

She drop her head, put her face hi her hands.

My God, say Odessa, and he your uncle.

He say if he was my uncle he wouldn't do it to me. That be a

sin. But this just little fornication. Everybody guilty of that.

102 She turn her face up to Harpo. Harpo, she say, do you

real y love me, or just my color?

Harpo say, I love you, Squeak. He kneel down and try to put

his arms round her waist.

She stand up. My name Mary Agnes, she say.

103

6 months after Mary Agnes went to git Sofia out of prison,

she begin to sing. First she sing Shug's songs, then she

begin to make

up songs her own self.

She got the kind of voice you never think of trying to sing a

song. It tittle, it high, it sort of meowing. But Mary Agnes

don't

care.

Pretty soon, us git used to it. Then us like it a whole lot.

Harpo don't know what to make of it.

It seem funny to me, he say to me and Mr. ???. So sudden.

It put me in the mind of a gramaphone. Sit in the corner a

year silent

as the grave. Then you put a record on, it come to life.

Wonder if she stil mad Sofia knock her teef out? I ast.

Yeah, she mad. But what good being mad gon do? She not

evil, she know Sofia life hard to bear right now.

How she-git long with the children? ast Mr. _____.

They love her, say Harpo. She let 'em do anything they

want.

Oh-oh, I say.

104 Besides, he say, Odessa and Sofia other sisters

always on hand to take up the slack. They bring up children

like military.

Squeak sing,

They cal s me yel ow like yel ow be my name

They cal s me yel ow like yel ow be my name

But if yel ow is a name Why ain't black the same

Wel , if I say Hey black girl Lord, she try to ruin my game

105

Sofia say to me today, I just can't understand it.

What that? I ast.

Why we ain't already kil them off.

Three years after she beat she out of the wash house, got

her color and her weight back, look like her old self, just al

time

think bout kil ing somebody.

Too many to kil off, I say. Us outnumbered from the start. I

speck we knock over one or two, though, here and there,

through the

years, I say.

We sit on a piece of old crate out near the edge of Miss

Mil ie's yard. Rusty nails stick out long the bottom and when

us move

they creak gainst the wood.

Sofia job to watch the children play bal . The little boy throw

the bal to the little girl, she try to catch it with her eyes

shut. It rol up under Sofia foot.

Throw me the bal , say the little boy, with his hands on his

hip. Throw me the bal .

Sofia mutter to herself, half to me. I'm here to watch, not to

throw, she say. She don't make a move toward the bal .

Don't you hear me talking to you, he shout. He 105

106 maybe six years old, brown hair, ice blue eyes. He

come steaming up to where us sit, haul off and kick Sofia

leg. She swing

her foot to one side and he scream.

What the trouble? I ast.

Done stab his foot with a rusty nail, Sofia say.

Sure enough, blood come leaking through his shoe.

His little sister come watch him cry. He turn redder and

redder. Cal his mama.

Miss Mil ie come running. She scared of Sofia. Everytime

she talk to her it like she expect the worst. She don't stand

close to

her either. When she git a few yards from where us sit, she

motion for Bil y to come there.

My foot, he say to her.

Sofia do it? she ast.

Little girl pipe up. Bil y do it his own self, she say. Trying to

kick Sofia leg. The little girl dote on Sofia, always stick up

for her. Sofia never notice, she as deef to the little girl as

she is to her brother.

Miss Mil ie cut her eyes at her, put one arm round Bil y

shoulder and they limp into the back of the house. Little girl

fol ow,

wave bye-bye to us.

She seem like a right sweet little thing, I say to Sofia.

Who is? She frown.

The little girl, I say. What they cal her, Eleanor Jane?

Yeah, say Sofia, with a real puzzle look on her face, I

wonder why she was ever born.

Wel , I say, us don't have to wonder that bout darkies.

She giggle. Miss Celie, she say, you just as crazy as you

can be.

This the first giggle I heard in three years.

107

Sofia would make a dog laugh, talking about those people

she work for. They have the nerve to try to make us think

slavery fel

through because of us, say Sofia. Like us didn't have sense

enough to handle it. Al the time breaking hoe handles and

letting

the mules loose in the wheat. But how anything they build

can last a day is a wonder to me. They backward, she say.

Clumsy, and

unlucky.

Mayor???bought Miz Mil ie a new car, cause she said if

colored could have cars then one for her was past due. So

he bought her

a car, only he refuse to show her how to drive it. Every day

he come home from town he look at her, look out the

window at her

car, say, How you enjoying 'er Miz Mil ie. She fly off the sofa

in a huff, slam the door going in the bathroom.

She ain't got no friends.

So one day she say to me, car been sitting out in the yard

two months, Sofia, do you know how to drive? I guess she

remembered

first seeing me up gainst Buster Broadnax car.

Yes ma'am, I say. I'm slaving away cleaning that big

108 post they got down at the bottom of the stair. They act

real funny bout that post. No finger prints is sposed to be on

it,

ever.

Do you think you could teach me? she says.

One of Sofia children break in, the oldest boy. He tal and

handsome, al the time serious. And mad a lot.

He say, Don't say slaving, Mama.

Sofia say, Why not? They got me in a little storeroom up

under the house, hardly bigger than Odessa's porch, and

just about as

warm in the winter time. I'm at they beck and cal al night

and al day. They won't let me see my children. They won't

let me

see no mens. Wel , after five years they let me see you

once a year. I'm a slave, she say. What would you cal it?

A captive, he say.

Sofia go on with her story, only look at him like she glad he

hers.

So I say, Yes ma'am. I can teach you, if it the same kind of

car I learned on.

Next thing you know there go me and Miz Mil ie al up and

down the road. First I drive and she watch, then she start to

try to

drive and I watch her. Up and down the road. Soon as I

finish cooking breakfast, putting it on the table, washing

dishes and sweeping

die floor?and just before I go git the mail out of the box

down by the road?we go give Miz Mil ie her driving lesson.

Wel , after while she got die hang of it, more or less. Then

she real y git it. Then one day when we come home from

riding, she

say to me, I'm gonna drive you home. Just like that.

Home? I ast.

Yes, she say. Home. You ain't been home or seen your

children in a while, she say. Ain't that right?

I say, Yes ma'am. It been five years.

She say, That's a shame. You just go git your things

109 right now. Here it is, Christmas. Go get your things.

You can stay al day.

For al day I don't need nothing but what I got on, I say.

Fine, she say. Fine. Wel git in.

Wel , say Sofia, I was so use to sitting up there next to her

teaching her how to drive, that I just natural y clammed into

the

front seat.

She stood outside on her side the car clearing her throat.

Final y she say, Sofia, with a little laugh, This isthe South.

Yes ma'am, I say-She clear her throat, laugh some more.

Look where you sitting, she say.

I'm sitting where I always sit, I say.

That's the problem, she say. Have you ever seen a white

person and a colored sitting side by side in a car, when

one of 'em wasn't

showing the other one how to drive it or clean it?

I got out the car, opened the back door and clammed in.

She sat down up front. Off us traveled down the road, Miz

Mil ie hair blowing

al out the window.

It's real pretty country out this way, she say, when we hit the

Marshal county road, coming toward Odessa's house.

Yes ma'am, I say.

Then us pul into the yard and al the children come

crowding round the car. Nobody told them I was coming, so

they don't know

who I is. Except the oldest two. They fal on me, and hug

me. And then al the little ones start to hug me too. I don't

think

they even notice I was sitting in the back of the car. Odessa

and Jack come out after I was out, so they didn't see it.

Us al stand round kissing and hugging each other, 109

110 Miz Mil ie just watching. Final y, she lean out the

window and say, Sofia, you only got the rest of the day. I'l

be back to

pick you up at five o'clock. The children was al pul ing me

into the house, so sort of over my shoulder I say, Yes

ma'am, and

I thought I heard her drive off.

But fifteen minutes later, Marion says, That white lady stil

out there.

Maybe she going to wait to take you back, say Jack.

Maybe she sick, say Odessa. You always say how sickly

they is.

I go out to the car, say Sofia, and guess what the matter is?

The matter is, she don't know how to do nothing but go

forward, and

Jack and Odessa's yard too ful of trees for that.

Sofia, she say, How you back this thing up?

I lean over the car window and try to show her which way to

move the gears. But she flustered and al the children and

Odessa and

Jack al standing round the porch watching her.

I go round on the other side. Try to explain with my head

poked through that window. She stripping gears aplenty by

now. Plus her

nose red and she look mad and frustrate both.

I clam in the back seat, lean over the back of the front,

steady trying to show her how to operate the gears. Nothing

happen. Final y

the car stop making any sound. Engine dead.

Don't worry, I say, Odessa's husband Jack wil drive you

home. That's his pick-up right there.

Oh, she say, I couldn't ride in a pick-up with a strange

colored man.

I'l ask Odessa to squeeze in too, I say. That would give me

a chance to spend a little time with the

111 children, I thought. But she say, No, I don't know her

neither.

So it end up with me and Jack driving her back home in the

pick-up, then Jack driving me to town to git a mechanic,

and at five

o'clock I was driving Miz Mil ie's car back to her house.

I spent fifteen minutes with my children.

And she been going on for months bout how ungrateful I is.

White folks is a miracle of affliction, say Sofia.

Il

112

Shug write she got a big surprise, and she intend to bring it

home for Christmas.

What it is? us wonder.

Mr. _??? think it a car for him. Shug making big money

now, dress in furs al the time. Silk and satin too, and hats

made out of

gold.

Christmas morning us hear this motor outside the door. Us

look out.

Hot diggidy dog, say Mr. ??? throwing on his pants. He

rush to the door. I stand in front the glass trying to make

something out

my hair. It too short to be long, too long to be short. Too

nappy to be kinky, too kinky to be nappy. No set color to it

either.

I give up, tie on a headrag.

I hear Shug cry, Oh, Albert. He say, Shug. 1know they

hugging. Then I don't hear nothing.

I run out the door. Shug,I say, and put out my arms. But

before I know anything a skinny big toof man wearing red

suspenders is

al up in my face. Fore I can wonder whose dog he is, he

hugging me.

113 Miss Celie, he say. Aw, Miss Celie. I heard so much

about you. Feel like we old Mends.

Shug standing back with a big grin.

This Grady, she say. This my husband.

The minute she say it I know I don't like Grady. I don't like

his shape, I don't like his teef, I don't like his clothes. Seem

like to me he smel .

Us been driving al night, she say. Nowhere to stop, you

know. But here us is. She come over to Grady and put her

arms round him,

look up at him like he cute and he lean down and give her a

kiss.

I glance round at Mr. ???. He look like the end of the world. I

know I don't look no better.

And this my wedding present to us, say Shug. The car big

and dark blue and say Packard on the front. Brand new,

she say. She look

at Mr. ???, take his arm, give it a little squeeze. While we

here, Albert, she say, I want you to learn how to drive. She

laugh.

Grady drive like a fool, she say. I thought the polices was

gonna catch us for sure.

Final y Shug real y seem to notice me. She come over and

hug me a long time. Us two married ladies now, she say.

Two married ladies.

And hungry, she say. What us got to eat?

114

Mr. ??? drink al through Christmas. Him and Grady. Me

and Shug cook, talk, clean the house, talk, fix up the tree,

talk, wake

up in the morning, talk.

She singing al over the country these days. Everybody

know her name. She know everybody, too. Know Sophie

Tucker, know Duke El ington,

know folks I ain't never heard of. And money. She make so

much money she don't know what to do with it. She got a

fine house in

Memphis, another car. She got one hundred pretty dresses.

A room ful of shoes. She buy Grady anything he think he

want.

Where you find him at? I ast.

Up under my car, she say. The one at home. I drove it after

the oil gave out, kilt the engine. He the man fixed it. Us took

one

look at one nother, that was it.

Mr. ??? feelings hurt, I say. I don't mention mine.

Aw, she say. That old stuff final y over with. You and Albert

feel just like family now. Anyhow, once you told me he beat

you,

and won't work, I felt different

115 about him. If you was my wife, she say, I'd cover you up

with kisses stead of licks, and work hard for you too.

He ain't beat me much since you made him quit, I say. Just

a slap now and then when he ain't got nothing else to do.

Yal make love any better? she ast.

Us try, I say. He try to play with the button but feel like his

fingers dry. Us don't git nowhere much.

You stil a virgin? she ast.

I reckon. I say.

116

Mr. ??? and Grady gone off in the car together. Shug ast

me could she sleep with me. She cold in her and Grady

bed al alone. Us

talk bout this and that. Soon talk about making love. Shug

don't actual y say making love. She say something nasty.

She say fuck.

She ast me, How was it with your children daddy?

The girls had a little separate room, I say, off to itself,

connected to the house by a little plank walk. Nobody ever

come hi

there but Mama. But one time when mama not at home, he

come. Told me he want me to trim his hair. He bring the

scissors and comb

and brush and a stool. While I trim his hair he look at me

funny. He a little nervous too, but I don't know why, til he

grab

hold of me and cram me up tween his legs.

I lay there quiet, listening to Shug breathe.

It hurt me, you know, I say. I was just going on fourteen. I

never even thought bout men having nothing down there so

big. It scare

me just to see it. And the way it poke itself and grow.

Shug so quiet I think she sleep. 116

117 After he through, I say, he mate me finish trimming his

hair.

I sneak a look at Shug.

Oh, Miss Celie, she say. And put her arms round me. They

black and smooth and kind of glowy from the lamplight.

I start to cry too. I cry and cry and cry. Seem like it al come

back to me, laying there in Shug arms. How it hurt and how

much

I was surprise. How it stung while I finish trimming his hah-.

How the blood drip down my leg and mess up my stocking.

How he

don't never look at me straight after that. And Nettie.

Don't cry, Celie, Shug say. Don't cry. She start kissing the

water as it come down side my face.

After while I say, Mama final y ast how come she find his

hair in the girls room if he don't never go in there like he

say. That

when he told her I had a boyfriend. Some boy he say he

seen sneaking put the back door. It the boy's hair, he say,

not his. You

know how she love to cut anybody hair, he say.

I did love to cut hair, I say to Shug, since I was a little bitty

thing. I'd run go git the scissors if I saw ban-coming, and I'd

cut and cut, long as I could. That how come I was the one

cut his hah-. But always before I cut it on the front porch. It

got

to the place where everytime I saw him coming with the

scissors and the comb and the stool, I start to cry.

Shug say, Wel sah, and I thought it was only white-folks do

freakish things like that.

My mama die, I tel Shug. My sister Nettie run away. Mr.

??? come git me to take care bis rotten children. He never

ast me nothing

bout myself. He clam on top of me and fuck and fuck, even

when my head bandaged. Nobody ever love me, I say.

118 She say, I love you, Miss Celie. And then she haul off

and kiss me on the mouth.

Um,she say, like she surprise. I kiss her back, say, um,too.

Us kiss and kiss til us can't hardly kiss no more. Then us

touch

each other.

I don't know nothing bout it, I say to Shug.

I don't know much, she say.

Then I feels something real soft and wet on my breast, feel

like one of my little lost babies mouth.

Way after while, I act like a little lost baby too.

119

Grady and Mr. ??? come staggering in round daybreak. Me

and Snug sound asleep. Her back to me, my arms round

her waist. What it

like? Little like sleeping with mama, only I can't hardly

remember ever sleeping with her. Little like sleeping with

Nettie, only

sleeping with Nettie never feel this good. It warm and

cushiony, and I feel Shug's big tits sorta flop over my arms

like suds.

It feel like heaven js what it feel like, not like sleeping with

Mr. ??? at al .

Wake up Sugar, I say. They back. And Shug rol over, hug

me, and git out of the bed. She stagger into the other room

and fal on

the bed with Grady. Mr. ??? fal into bed next to me, drunk,

and snoring before he hit the quilts.

I try my best to like Grady, even if he do wear red

suspenders and bow ties. Even if he do spend Shug's

money like he made it himself.

Even if he do try to talk like somebody from the North.

Memphis, Tennessee ain't North, even I know that. But one

thing I sure

miff can't stand, the way he cal Shug Mama.

120 I ain't your fucking mama, Shug say. But he don't pay

her no mind.

Like when he be making goo-goo eyes at Squeak and

Shug sorta tease him about it, he say, Aw, Mama, you

know I don't mean no harm.

Shug like Squeak too, try to help her sing. They sit in

Odessa's front room with al the children crowded round

them singing and

singing. Sometime Swain come with his box, Harpo cook

dinner, and me and Mr. ??? and the prizefighter bring our

preshation.

It nice.

Shug say to Squeak, I mean, Mary Agnes, You ought to

sing in public.

Mary Agnes say, Now.She think cause she don't sing big

and broad like Shug nobody want to hear her. But Shug say

she wrong.

What about al them funny voices you hear singing in

church? Shug say. What about al them sounds that. sound

good but they not

the sounds you thought folks could make? What bout that?

Then she start moaning. Sound like death approaching,

angels can't prevent

it. It raise the hair on the back of your neck. But it real y

sound sort of like panthers would sound if they could sing.

I tel you something else, Shug say to Mary Agnes, listening

to you sing, folks git to thinking bout a good screw.

Aw, Miss Shug,say Mary Agnes, changing color.

Shug say, What, too shamefaced to put singing and

dancing and fucking together? She laugh. That's the reason

they cal what us

sing the devil's music. Devils love to fuck. Listen, she say,

Let's go sing one night at Harpo place. Be like old times for

me.

And if I bring you before the crowd, they better listen with

respect.

121 Niggers don't know how to act, but if you git through the

first half of one song, you got 'em.

You reckon that's the truth? say Mary Agnes. She al big

eyed and delight.

I don't know if I want her to sing, say Harpo.

How come? ast Shug. That woman you got singing now

can't git her ass outthe church. Folks don't know whether to

dance or creep

to the mourner's bench. Plus, you dress Mary Agnes up the

right way and you'l make piss pots of money. Yel ow like

she is, stringy

hair and cloudy eyes, the men'l be crazy bout her. Ain't that

right, Grady, she say.

Grady look little sheepish. Grin. Mama you don't miss a

thing, he say.

And don't you forgit it, say Shug.

122 Dear God, This the letter I been holding in my hand.

Dear Cetie,

I know you think I am dead. But I am not. I been writing to

you too, over the years, but Albert said you'd never hear

from me again

and since I never heard from you al this time, I guess he

was right. Now I only write at Christmas and Easter hoping

my letter

get lost among the Christmas and Easter greetings, or that

Albert get the holiday spirit and have pity on us.

There is so much to tel you that I don't know, hardly, where

to begin?and anyway, you probably won't get this letter,

either.

I'm sure Albert is stil the only one to take mail out of the

box.

But if this do get through, one thing I want you to know, I love

you, and I am not dead. And Olivia is fine and so is your

son.

We are al coming home before the end of another year.

Your loving sister,

Nettie

123 One night in bed Shug ast me to tel her bout Nettie.

What she like? Where she at?

I tel her how Mr. ??? try to turn her head. How Nettie refuse

him, and how he say Nettie have to go.

Where she go? she ast.

I don't know, I say. She leave here.

And no word from her yet? she ast.

Naw, I say. Every day when Mr. ??? come from the mailbox

I hope for news. But nothing come. She dead, I say.

Shug say, She wouldn't be someplace with funny stamps,

you don't reckon? She look like she studying. Say,

Sometimes when Albert

and me walk up to the mailbox there be a letter with a lot of

funny looking stamps. He never say nothing bout it, just put

it

in his inside pocket. One time I ast him could I look at the

stamps but he said he'd take it out later. But he never did.

She was just on her way to town, I say. Stamps look like

stamps round here. White men with long hah*.

Hm, she say, look like a little fat white woman was on one.

What your sister Nettie like? she ast. Smart?

Yes, Lord, I say. Smart as anything. 'Read the newspapers

when she was little more than talking. Did figures like they

was nothing.

Talked real wel too. And sweet. There never was a sweeter

girl, I say. Eyes just brimming over with it. She love me too, I

say

to Shug.

She tal or short? Shug ast. What kind of dress she like to

wear? What her birthday? What her favorite color? Can she

cook? Sew?

What about hah-?

Everything bout Nettie she want to know.

I talk so much my voice start to go. Why you want to know

so much bout Nettie? I ast.

Cause she the only one you ever love, she say, sides me.

124

Al of a sudden Shug buddy-buddy again with Mr. ???. They

sit on the steps, go down Harpo's. Walk to the mailbox.

Shug laugh and laugh when he got anything to say. Show

teef and tits aplenty.

Me and Grady try to carry on like us civilize. But it hard.

When I hear Shug laugh I want to choke her, slap Mr. ???

face.

Al this week I suffer. Grady and me feel so down he turn to

reefer, I turn to prayer.

Saturday morning Shug put Nettie letter in my lap. Little fat

queen of England stamps on it, plus stamps that got

peanuts, coconuts,

rubber trees and say Africa. I don't know where England at.

Don't know where Africa at either. So I stil don't know

where Nettie

at.

He been keeping your letters, say Shug.

Naw, I say. Mr. ___ mean sometimes, but he not that.mean.

She say, Humpf, he that mean.

But how come he do it? I ast. He know Nettie mean

everything in the world to me.

125 Shug say she don't know, but us gon find out.

Usseal the letter up again and put it back in Mr. ??? pocket.

He walk round with it in his coat al day. He never mention it.

Just talk and laugh with Grady, Harpo and Swain, and try to

learn

how to drive Shug car.

I watch him so close, I begin to feel a lightening hi the head.

Fore I know anything I'm standing hind his chair with his

razor

open.

Then I hear Shug laugh, like something just too funny. She

say to me, I know I told you I need something to cut this

hangnail with,

but Albert git real niggerish bout his razor.

Mr. ??_ look behind him. Put that down, he say. Women

always needing to cut this and shave that, and always

gumming up the razor.

Shug got her hand on the razor now. She say. Oh it look dul

.anyway. She take and sling it back in the shaving box.

Al day long I act just like Sofia. I stutter. I mutter to myself. I stumble bout the house crazy for Mr. -??blood. In my mind,

he fal ing dead every which a way. By time night come, I

can't speak. Every time I open my mouth nothing come out

but a little

burp.

Shug tel everybody I got a fever and she put me to bed. It

probably catching, she say to Mr. ???. Maybe you better

sleep somewhere

else. But she stay with me al night long. I don't sleep. I don't

cry. I don't do nothing. I'm cold too. Pretty soon I think

maybe

I'm dead:

Shug hold me close to her and sometimes talk.

One thing my mama hated me for was how much I love to

fuck, she say. She never love to do nothing had anything to

do with touching

nobody, she say. I try to kiss her, she turn her mouth away.

Say, Cut that out

126 Lil ie, she say. Lil ie Shug's real name. She just so

sweet they cal her Shug.

My daddy love me to kiss and hug him, but she didn't like

the looks of that. So when I met Albert, and once I got in his

arms,

nothing could git me out. It was good, too, she say. You

know for me to have three babies by Albert and Albert

weak as he is,

it had to be good.

I had every one of my babies at home, too. Midwife come,

preacher come, a bunch of the good ladies from the church.

Just when I

hurt so much I don't know my own name, they think a good

time to talk bout repent.

She laugh. I was too big a fool to repent. Then she say, I

loved me some Albert ???..

I don't even want to say nothing. Where I'm at it peaceful. It

calm. No Albert there. No Shug. Nothing.

Shug say, the last baby did it. They turned me out. I went to

stay with my mama wild sister in Memphis. She just like

me, Mama

say. She drink, she fight, she love mens to death. She work

in a roadhouse. Cook. Feed fifty men, screw fifty-five.

Shug talk and talk.

And dance, she say. Nobody dance like Albert when he

was young. Sometime us did the moochie for a hour. After

that, nothing to

do but go somewhere and lay down. And funny. Albert was

so funny.He kept me laughing. How come he ain't funny no

more? she ast.

How come he never hardly laugh? How come he don't

dance? she say. Good God, Celie, she say, What happen

to the man I love?

She quiet a little while. Then she say, I was so surprise

when I heard he was going to marry Annie Julia, she say.

Too surprise

to be hurt. I didn't believe it. After al , Albert knew as wel as

me that love would have to go some to be better than ours.

Us had the kind of love couldn't be improve. That's what I

thought.

127 But, he weak, she say. His daddy told him I'm trash, my

mama trash before me. His brother say the same. Albert try

to stand

up for us, git knock down. One reason they give him for not

marrying me is cause I have children.

But they his, Itold old Mr. ???.

How us know? He ast.

Poor Annie Julia, Shug say. She never had a chance. I was

so mean, and so wild, Lord. I used to go round saying, I

don't care who

he married to, I'm gonna fuck him. She stop talking a

minute. Then she say, And I did, too. Us fuck so much in the

open us give

fucking a bad name.

But he fuck Annie Julia too, she say, and she didn't have

nothing, not even a liking for him. Her family forgot about

her once

she married. And then Harpo and al the children start to

come. Final y she start to sleep with that man that shot her

down. Albert

beat her. The children dragged on her. Sometimes I

wonder what she thought about while she died.

I know what I'm thinking bout, I think. Nothing. And as much

of it as I can.

I went to school with Annie Julia, Shug say. She .was pretty,

man. Black as anything, and skin just as smooth. Big black

eyes look

like moons. And sweet too. Hel , say Shug, I liked hef

myself. Why I hurt her so? I used to keep Albert away from

home for a week

at the time. She'd come and beg him for money to buy

groceries for the children.

I feel a few drops of water on my hand.

And when I come here, say Shug, I treated you so mean.

Like you was a servant. And al because Albert married

you. And I didn't

even want him for a husband, she say. I never real y wanted

Albert for a husband. But just to choose me, you know,

cause

128 nature had already done it. Nature said, You two folks,

hook up, cause you a good example of how it sposed to

go. I didn't

want nothing to be able to go against that. But what was

good tween us must have been nothing but bodies, she

say. Cause I don't

know the Albert that don't dance, can't hardly laugh, never

talk bout nothing, beat you and hid your sister Nettie's

letters.

Who he? I don't know nothing, I think. And glad of it.

128

129

Now that I know Albert hiding Nettie's letters, I know exactly

where they is. They in his trunk. Everything that mean

something

to Albert go in his trunk. He keep it locked up tight, but

Shug can git the key.

One night when Mr. ??? and Grady gone, us open the trunk.

Us find a lot of Shug's underclothes, some nasty picture

postcards, and

way down under his tobacco, Nettie's letters. Bunches and

bunches of them. Some fat, some thin. Some open, some

not.

How us gon do this? I ast Shug.

She say, Simple. We take the letters out of the envelopes,

leave the envelopes just like they is. I don't think he look in

this

corner of the trunk much, she say.

I heated the stove, put on the kettle. Us steam and steam

the envelopes until we had al the letters laying on the table.

Then

us put the envelopes back inside the trunk.

I'm gonna put them in some kind of order for you, say Shug.

Yeah, I say, but don't let's do it in here, let's go in you and

Grady room.

130 So she got up and us went into they little room. Snug

sat in a chair by the bed with al Nettie letters spread round

her, I

got on the bed with the pil ows behind my back.

These the first ones, say Shug. They postmark right here.

131 Dear Celie, the first letter say,

You've got to fight and get away from Albert. He ain't no

good.

When I left you al 's house, walking, he fol owed me on his

horse. When we was wel out of sight of the house he

caught up with

me and started trying to talk. You know how he do, You sure

is looking fine, Miss Nettie, and stuff like that. I tried to

ignore

him and walk faster, but my bundles was heavy and the sun

was hot. After while I had to rest, and that's when he got

down from

his horse and started to try to kiss me, and drag me back in

the woods.

Wel , I started to fight him, and with God's help, I hurt him

bad enough to make him let me alone. But he was some

mad. He said

because of what I'd done I'd never hear from you again, and

you would never hear from me.

I was so mad myself I was shaking.

Anyhow, I got a ride into town on somebody's 131

132 wagon. And that same somebody pointed me in the

direction of the Reverend Mr. ???'s place. And what was

my surprise when a

little girl opened the door and she had your eyes set in your

face.

love,

Nettie

133

Dear Celie,

I keep thinking it's too soon to look for a letter from you. And

I know how busy you is with al Mr. ???*s ?children. But I

miss

you somuch. Please write to me, soon as you have a

chance. Every day I think about you. Every minute.

The lady you met in town is name Corrine. The little girl's

name is Olivia. The husband's name is Samuel. The little

boy's name

is Adam. They are sanctified religious and very good to

me. They live in a nice house next to the church where

Samuel preaches,

and we spend a lot of time on church business. I say "we"

because they always try to include me in everything they do,

so I don't

feel so left out and alone.

But God, I miss you, Celie. I think about the tune you laid

yourself down for me. I love you with al my heart,

Your sister,

134

Dearest Celie,

By now I am almost crazy. I think Albert told me the truth,

and that he is not giving you my letters. The only person I

can think

of who could help us out is Pa, but I don't want him to know

where I am.

I asked Samuel if he would visit you and Mr. ???, just to see

how you are. But he says he can't risk putting himself

between man

and wife, especial y when he don't know them. And I felt

bad for having to ask him, he and Corrine have been so

nice to me. But

my heart is breaking. It is breaking because I can not find

any work in this town, and I wil have to leave. After I leave,

what

wil happen to us? How wil we ever know what is going on?

Corrine and Samuel and the children are part of a group of

people cal ed Missionaries, of the American and African

Missionary Society.

They have ministered to the Indians out west and are

ministering to the poor of this town. Al in preparation for the

work they

feel they were born for, missionary work in Africa.

135 I dread parting from them because in the short time

we've been together they've been Uke family to me. Like

family might have

been, I mean.

Write if you can. Here are some stamps.

love, Nettie

136 Next one, fat, dated two months later, say,

Dear Celie,

I wrote a letter to you almost every day on the ship coming

to Africa. But by the time we docked I was so down, I tore

them into

little pieces and dropped them into the water. Albert is not

going to let you have my letters and so what use is there in

writing

them. That's the way I felt when I tore them up and sent them

to you on the waves. But now I feel different.

I remember one time you said your life made you feel so

ashamed you couldn't even talk about it to God, you had to

write it, bad

as you thought your writing was. Wel , now I know what you

meant. And whether God wil read letters or no, I know you

wil go

on writing them; which is guidance enough for me. Anyway,

when I don't write to you I feel as bad as I do when I don't

pray, locked

up in myself and choking on my own heart. I am so

lonely,Celie.

The reason I am in Africa is because one of the

missionaries that was supposed to go with Corrine and

Samuel to help with the children

and with setting up a

137 school suddenly married a man who was afraid to let

her go, and refused to come to Africa with her. So there

they were, al

set to go, with a ticket suddenly available and no

missionary to give it to. At the same time, I wasn't able to

find a job anywhere

around town. But I never dreamed of going to Africa! I never

even thought about it as a real place, though Samuel and

Corrine

and even the children talked about it al the time.

Miss Beasley used to say it was a place overrun with

savages who didn't wear clothes. Even Corrine and

Samuel thought like this

at times. But they know a lot more about it than Miss

Beasley or any of our other teachers, and besides, they

spoke of al the

good things they could do for the downtrodden people from

whom they sprang. People who need Christ and good

medical advice.

One day I was in town with Corrine and we saw the mayor's

wife and her maid. The mayor's wife was shopping?going

hi and out of

stores?and her maid was waiting for her on the street and

taking the packages. I don't know if you have ever seen the

mayor's

wife. She looks like a wet cat. And there was her maid

looking like the very last person in the world you'd expect to

see waiting

on anybody, and hi particular not on anybody that looked

like that.

I spoke. But just speaking to me seemed to make her

embarrassed and she suddenly sort of erased herself. It

was the strangest thing,

Celie! One minute I was saying howdy to a living woman.

The next minute nothing living was there. Only its shape.

Al that night I thought about it. Then Samuel and Corrine

told me what they'd heard about how she got to be the

mayor's maid.

That she attacked the mayor,

138 and then the mayor and his wife took her from the

prison to work in their home.

In the morning I started asking questions about Africa and

started reading al the books Samuel and Corrine have on

the subject.

Did you know there were great cities in Africa, greater than

Mil edgevil e or even Atlanta, thousands of years ago? That

the Egyptians

who built the pyramids and enslaved the Israelites were

colored? That Egypt is in Africa? That the Ethiopia we read

about in the

Bible meant al of Africa?

We'l , I read and I read until I thought my eyes would fal out.

I read where the Africans sold us because they loved

money more

than their own sisters and brothers. How we came to

America in ships. How we were made to work.

I hadn't realized I was so ignorant,Celie. The little I knew

about my own self wouldn't have fil ed a thimble! And to

think Miss

Beasley always said I was the smartest child she ever

taught! But one thing I do thank her for, for teaching me to

learn for myself,

by reading and studying and writing a clear hand. And for

keeping alive in me somehow the desire to know.So when

Corrine and Samuel

asked me if I would come with them and help them build a

school in the middle of Africa, I said yes. But only if they

would teach

me everything they knew to make me useful as a

missionary and someone they would not be ashamed to

cal a friend. They agreed

to this condition, and my real education began at that time.

They have been as good as their word. And I study

everything night and day.

Oh, Celie, there are colored people in the world who want

us to know! Want us to grow and see the light! They are not

al mean

like Pa and Albert, or beaten

139 down like ma was. Corrine and Samuel have a

wonderful marriage. Their only sorrow in the beginning was

that they could not

have children. And then, they say, "God" sent them Olivia

and Adam.

I wanted to say, "God" has sent you their sister and aunt, but I didn't. Yes, their children, sent by "God" are your

children,

Cetie. And they are being brought up in love, Christian

charity and awareness of God. And now "God" has sent me

to watch over

them, to protect and cherish them. To lavish al the love I

feel for you on them. It is a miracle, isn't it? And no doubt

impossible

for you to believe.

But on the other hand, if you can believe I am in Africa, and I

am, you can believe anything.

Your sister, Nettie

140 The next letter after that one say,

DearCelie,

While we were in town Corrine bought doth to make me two

sets of traveling outfits. One olive green and the other gray.

Long gored

skirts and suit jackets to be worn with white cotton blouses

and lace-up boots. She also bought me a woman's boater

with a checkered

band.

Although I work for Corrine and Samuel and look after the

children, I don't feel like a maid. I guess this is because they

teach

me, and I teach the children and there's no beginning or

end to teaching and learning and working?it al runs

together.

Saying good-bye to our church group was hard. But happy,

too. Everyone has such high hopes for what can be done in

Africa. Over

the pulpit there is a saying: Ethiopia Shal Stretch forth Her

Hands to God.Think what it means that Ethiopia is Africa!

Al the

Ethiopians in the bible were colored. It had never occurred

to me, though when you read the bible it is perfectly plain if

you

pay attention only to the words. It is the

141 pictures in the bible that fool you. The pictures that

il ustrate the words. Al of the people are white and so you

just think

al the people from the bible were white too. But real y

whitewhite people lived somewhere else during those

times. That's why

the bibie says that Jesus Christ had hair like lamb's wool.

Lamb's wool is not straight, Celie. It isn't even curly.

What can I tel you about New York?or even about the train

that took us there! We had to ride in the sit-down section of

the train,

but Celie, there are beds on trams! And a restaurant! And

toilets! The beds come down out of the wal s, over the tops

of the seats,

and are cal ed berths. Only white people can ride in the

beds and use the restaurant. And they have different toilets

from colored.

One white man on the platform in South Carolina asked us

where we were going?we had got off the train to get some

fresh air and

to dust the grit and dust out of our clothes. When we said

Africa he looked offended and tickled too. Niggers going to

Africa,

he said to his wife. Now I haveseen everything.

When we got to New York we were tired and dirty. But so

excited! Listen, Celie, New York is a beautifulcity. And

colored own a

whole section of it, cal ed Harlem. There are colored

people in more fancy motor cars than I thought existed, and

living in houses

that are finer than any white person's house down home.

There are more than a hundred churches! And we went to

every one of them.

And I stood before each congregation with Samuel and

Corrine and the children and sometimes our mouths just

dropped open from

the generosity and goodness of those Harlem people's

hearts. They live hi such beauty and dignity, Celie. And they

give and give

and then reach down and give some more, when the name

"Africa" is mentioned.

142 They loveAfrica. They defend it at the drop of a hat.

And speaking of hats, if we had passed our hats alone they

would not

have been enough to hold al the donations to our

enterprise. Even the children dredged up their pennies.

Please give these to

the children of Africa, they said. They were al dressed so

beautiful y, too, Celie. I wish you could have seen them.

There is

a fashion in Harlem now for boys to wear something cal ed

knickers?sort of baggy pants, fitted tight just below the

knee, and

for girls to wear garlands of flowers hi their hair. They must

be the most beautiful children alive, and Adam and Olivia

couldn't

take their eyes off them.

Then there were the dinners we were invited to, the

breakfasts, lunches, and suppers. I gamed five pounds just

from tasting. I

was too excited to real y eat.

And al the people have indoor toilets, Celie. And gas or

electric lights!

Wel , we had two weeks of study in the Olinka dialect, which

the people hi this region speak. Then we were examined by

a doctor

(colored!) and given medical supplies for ourselves and for

our host vil age by the Missionary Society of New York. It is

run

by white people and they didn't say anything about caring

about Africa, but only about duty. There is already a white

woman missionary

not far from our vil age who has lived in Africa for the past

twenty years. She is said to be much loved by the natives

even though

she thinks they are an entirely different species from what

she cal s Europeans. Europeans are white people who live

in a place

cal ed Europe. That is where the white people down home

came from. She says an African daisy and an English daisy

are both flowers,

but total y different kinds. The man at the Society says she

is successful because she doesn't "coddle" her charges.

She also

143 speaks their language. He is a white man who looks at

us as if we cannot possibly be as good with the Africans as

this woman

is.

My spirits sort of drooped after being at the Society. On

every wal there was a picture of a white man. Somebody

cal ed Speke,

somebody cal ed Livingstone. Somebody cal ed Daly. Or

was it Stanley? I looked for a picture of the white woman

but didn't see

one. Samuel looked a little sad too, but then he perked up

and reminded us that there is one big advantage we have.

We are not

white. We are not Europeans. We are black like the

Africans themselves. And that we and the Africans wil be

working for a common

goal: the uplift of black people everywhere.

Your sister, Nettie

144

Samuel is a big man. He dresses in black almost al the

time, except for his white clerical col ar. And heis black.

Until you see

his eyes you think he's somber, even mean, but he has the

most thoughtful and gentle brown eyes. When he says

something it settles

you, because he never says anything off the top of his head

and he's never out to dampen your spirit or to hurt. Corrine

is a

lucky woman to have him as her husband.

But let me tel you about the ship! The ship, cal ed The

Malaga, was three stories high! And we had rooms (cal ed

cabins) with

beds. Oh, Celie, to lie in a bed in the middle of the ocean!

And the ocean! Celie, more water than you can imagine in

one place.

It took us two weeks to cross it! And then we were in

England, which is a country ful of white people and some of

them very nice

and with their own Anti-Slavery & Missionary Society. The

churches in England were also very eager to help us and

white men and

women; who looked just like the ones at home, invited us to

their gatherings and into their homes for tea, and to talk

about our

work. "Tea" to the English is real y a picnic indoors. Plenty of

145 sandwiches and cookies and of course hot tea. We al

used the same cups and plates.

Everyone said I seemed very young to be a missionary, but

.Samuel said that I was very wil ing, and that, anyway, my

primary duties

would be helping with the children and teaching a

kindergarten class or two.

Our work began to seem somewhat clearer in England

because the English have been sending missionaries to

Africa and India and China

and God knows where al , for over a hundred years. And

the things they have brought back! We spent a morning in

one of their museums

and it was packed with jewels, furniture, fur carpets,

swords, clothing, even tombsfrom al the countries they

have been. From

Africa they have thousandsof vases, jars, masks, bowls,

baskets, statues ?and they are al so beautiful it is hard to

imagine

that the people who made them don't stil exist. And yet the

English assure us they do not. Although Africans once had

a better

civilization than the European (though of course even the

English do not say this: I get this from reading a man

named J. A. Rogers)

for several centuries they have fal en on hard times. "Hard

times" is a phrase the English love to use, when speaking

of Africa.

And it is easy to forget that Africa's "hard times" were

made harder by them. Mil ions and mil ions of Africans

were captured

and sold into slavery?you and me, Celie! And whole cities

were destroyed by slave catching wars. Today the people

of Africa?having

murdered or sold into slavery then* strongest folks?are

riddled by disease and sunk in spiritual and physical

confusion. They

believe in the devil and worship the dead. Nor can they

read or write.

Why did they sel us? How could they have done it? And

why do we stil love them? These were the thoughts I had as

we tramped through

the chil y streets

146 of London. I studied England on a map, so neat and

serene, and I became hopeful in spite of myself that much

good for Africa

is possible, given hard work and the right frame of mind.

And then we sailed for Africa. Leaving Southampton,

England on the 24th

of July and arriving in Monrovia, Liberia on the 12th of

September. On the way we stopped in Lisbon, Portugal

and Dakar, Senegal.

Monrovia was the last place we were among people we

were somewhat used to, since it is an African country that

was "founded" by

ex-slaves from America who came back to Africa to live.

Had any of their parents or grandparents been sold

fromMonrovia, I wondered,

and what was their feeling, once sold as slaves, now

coming back, with close ties to the country that bought

them, to rule.

Celie, I must stop now. The sun is not so hot now and I must

prepare for the afternoon classes and vesper service.

I wish you were with me, or I with you. My love,

Your sister, Nettie

147

It was the funniest thing to stop over in Monrovia after my

first glimpse of Africa, which was Senegal. The capital of

Senegal

is Dakar and the people speak then- own language,

Senegalese I guess they would cal it, and French. They are

the blackest people

I have ever seen, Celie. They are black like the people we

are talking about when we say, "So and so is blacker than

black, he's

blueblack."They are so black, Celie, they shine. Which is

something else folks down home like to say about real

black folks. But

Celie, try to imagine a city ful of these shining, blueblack

people wearing bril iant blue robes with designs like fancy

quilt

patterns. Tal , thin, with long necks and straight backs. Can

you picture it at al , Celie? Because I felt like I was seeing

black

for the first time. And Celie, there is something magical

about it. Because the black is so black the eye is simply

dazzled, and

then there is the shining that seems to come, real y, from

moonlight, it is so luminous, but their skin glows even in the

sun.

But I did not real y like the Senegalese I met in the market.

They were concerned only with their sale of

148 produce. If we did not buy, they looked through us as

quickly as they looked through the white French people who

live there.

Somehow I had not expected to see any white people in

Africa, but they are here in droves. And not al are

missionaries.

There are bunches of them in Monrovia, too. And the

president, whose last name is Tubman, has some in his

cabinet. He also has

a lot of white-looking colored men in his cabinet. On our

second evening in Monrovia we had tea at the presidential

palace. It

looks very much like the American white house (where our

president lives) Samuel says. The president talked a good

bit about his

efforts trying to develop the country and about his problems

with the natives, who don't want to work to help build the

country

up. It was the first time I'd heard a black man use that word.

I knew that to white people al colored people are natives.

But

he cleared his throat and said he only meant "native" to

Liberia. I did not see any of these "natives" in his cabinet.

And none

of the cabinet members' wives could pass for natives.

Compared to them in their silks and pearls, Corrine and I

were barely dressed,

let alone dressed for the occasion. But I think the women

we saw at the palace spend a lot of their time dressing.

Stil , they

look dissatisfied. Not like the cheery schoolteach-ers we

saw only by chance, as they herded their classes down to

the beach for

a swim.

Before we left we visited one of the large cacoa plantations

they have. Nothing but cacoa trees as far as the eye can

see. And

whole vil ages built right in the middle of the fields. We

watched the weary families come home from work, stil

carrying their

cacoa seed buckets in their hands (these double as lunch

buckets next day), and sometimes?if they are women?their

children on

their backs. As tired as they are, they sing!

149 Celie. Just like we do at home. Why do tired people

sing? I asked Corrine. loo tired to do anything else, she

said. Besides,

they don't own the cacoa fields, Celie, even president

Tubman doesn't own them. People in a place cal ed

Hol and do. The people

who make Dutch chocolate. And there are overseers who

make sure the people work hard, who live in stone houses

in the corners

of the fields.

Again I must go. Everyone is hi bed and I am writing by

lamplight. But the light is attracting so many bugs I am

being eaten alive.

I have bites everywhere, including my scalp and the

bottoms of my feet.

But?

Did I mention my first sight of the African coast? Something

struck hi me, in my soul, Celie, like a large bel , and I just

vibrated.

Corrine and Samuel felt the same. And we kneeled down

right on deck and gave thanks to God for letting us see the

land for which

our mothers and fathers cried?and lived and died?to see

again.

Oh, Celie! Wil I ever be able to tel you al ?

I dare not ask, I know. But leave h al to God.

Your everloving sister, Nettie

150

What with being shock, crying and blowing my nose, and

trying to puzzle out words us don't know, it took a long time

to read just

the first two or three letters. By the time us got up to where

she good and settled in Africa, Mr. ??? and Grady come

home.

Can you handle it? ast Shug.

How I'm gon keep from kil ing him, I say.

Don't kil , she say. Nettie be coming home before long.

Don't make her have to look at you like us look at Sofia.

But it so hard, I say, while Shug empty her suitcase and put

the letters inside.

Hard to be Christ too, say Shug. But he manage.

Remember that. Thou Shalt Not Kil , He said. And probably

wanted to add on to that,

Starting with me. He knowed the fools he was dealing with.

But Mr. ___ not Christ. I'm not Christ, I say.

You somebody to Nettie, she say. And she be pissed if you

change on her while she on her way home.

Us hear Grady and Mr. ??? in the kitchen. Dishes rattling,

safe door open and shut.

151 Naw, I think I feel better if I kil him, I say. I feels sickish.

Numb, now.

Naw you won't. Nobody feel better for kil ing nothing. They

feel somethingis al .

That better than nothing.

Celie, she say, Nettie not the only one you got to worry bout.

Say what, I ast.

Me, Celie, think about me a little bit. Miss Celie, if you kil

Albert, Grady be al I got left. I can't even stand the thought

of that.

I laugh, thinking bout Grady's big toofs.

Make Albert let me sleep with you from now on, while you

here, I say.

And somehow or other, she do.

152

Iksleep like sisters, me and Sbug. Much as I stil want to be

with her, much as I love to look, my titties stay soft, my little

button never rise. Now I know I'm dead. But she say, Naw,

just being mad, grief, wanting to kil somebody wil make

you feel this

way. Nothing to worry about. Titties gonna perk up, button

gonna rise again.

I loves to hug up, period, she say. Snuggle. Don't need

nothing else right now.

Yeah, I say. Hugging is good. Snuggle. Al of it's good.

She say, Times like this, lul s, us ought to do something

different.

Like what? I ast.

WeU, she say, looking me up and down, let's make you

some pants.

What I need pants for? I say. I ain't no man.

Don't git uppity, she say. But you don't have a dress do

nothing for you. You not made like no dress pattern, neither.

I don't know, I say: Mr. ??? not going to let his wife wear

pants.

153 Why not? say Shug. You do al the work around here.

It's a scandless, the way you look out there plowing in a

dress. How you

keep from fal ing over it or getting the plow caught in it is

beyond me.

Yeah? I say.

Yeah. And another thing, I used to put on Albert's pants

when we was courting. And he one time put on my dress.

No he didn't.

Yes he did. He use to be a lot of fun. Not like now. But he

loved to see me in pants. It was like a red flag to a bul .

Ugh, I say. I could just picture it, and I didn't like it one bit.

Wel , you know how they is, say Shug.

What us gon make 'em out of, I say.

We have to git our hands on somebody's armyuniform, say

Shug. For practice. That good strongmaterial and free..

Jack, I say. Odessa's husband.

Okay, she say. And everyday we going to read Nettie's

letters and sew.

A needle and not a razor in my hand, I think.

She don't say nothing else, just come over to me and hug.

154

Now I know Nettie alive I begin to strut a little bit. Think,

When she come home us leave bete. Her and me and our

two children.

What they look like, I wonder. But it hard to think bout them.

I feels shame. More than love, to tel the truth. Anyway, is

they

al right here? Got good sense and al ? Shug say children

got by incest turn into dunces. Incest part of the devil's plan.

But I think bout Nettie.

It's hot, here, Celie, she write. Hotter than July. Hotter than

August andJuly. Hot like cooking dinner on a big stove in a

little

kitchen in August and July. Hot.

Dear Celie,

We were met at the ship by an African from the vil age we

are settling in. His Christian name is Joseph. He is short

and fat, with

hands that seem not to have any bones in them. When he

shook my hand it felt like something soft and damp was

fal ing and I almost

caught it. He speaks a little English, what they cal

155 pidgin English. It is very different from the way we

speak English, but somehow familiar. He helped us unload

our things from

the ship into the boats that came out to get us. These boats

are real y dugout canoes, tike the Indians had, the ones you

see

in pictures. With al our belongings we fil ed three of them,

and a fourth one carried our medical and teaching supplies.

Once in the boat we were entertained by the songs of our

boatmen as they tried to outpaddle each other to the shore.

They paid

very little attention to us or our cargo. When we reached the

shore they didn't bother to help us alight from the boat and

actual y

set some of our supplies right down in the water. As soon

as they had browbeat poor Samuel out of a tip that Joseph

said was too

big, they were off hal ooing another group of people who

were waiting at the edge of the water to be taken to the

ship.

The port is pretty, but too shal ow for large ships to use. So

there is a good business for the boatmen, during the

season the

ships come by. These boatmen were al considerably

larger and more muscular than Joseph, though al of them,

including Joseph,

are a deep chocolate brown. Not black, like the

Senegalese. And Celie, they al have the strongest,

cleanest, whitest teeth! I

was thinking about teeth a lot on the voyage over, because I

had toothache nearly the entire time. You know how rotten

my back

teeth are. And in England I was struck by the English

people's teeth. So crooked, usual y, and blackish with

decay. I wondered

if it was the English water. But the Africans' teeth remind

me of horses' teeth, they are so ful y formed, straight and

strong.

The port's "town" is the size of the hardware store in town.

Inside there are stal s fil ed with cloth, hurricane

156 lamps and oil, mosquito netting, camp bedding,

hammocks, axes and hoes and machetes and other tools.

The whole place is run

by a white man, but some of the stal s that sel produce are

rented out to Africans. Joseph showed us things we

needed to buy.

A large iron pot for boiling water and our clothes, a zinc

basin. Mosquito netting. Nails. Hammer and saw and pick-

ax. Oil and

lamps.

Since there was nowhere to sleep in the port, Joseph hired

some porters from among the young men loafing around

the trading post

and we left right away for Olinka, some four days march

through the bush. Jungle, to you. Or maybe not. Do you

know what a jungle

is? Wel . Trees and trees and then more trees on top of

that. And big. They are so big they look like they were built.

And vines.

And ferns. And little animals. Frogs. Snakes too, according

to Joseph. But thank God we did not see any of these, only

humpbacked

lizards as big as your arm which the people here catch and

eat.

They love meat Al the people in this vil age. Sometimes if

you can't get them to do anything any other way, you start to

mention

meat, either a little piece extra you just happen to have or

maybe, if you want them to do something big, you talk

about a barbecue.

Yes, a barbecue. They remind me of folks at home!

Wel , we got here. And I thought I would never get the kinks

out of my hips from being carried in a hammock the whole

way. Everybody

in the vil age crowded round us. Coming out of little round

huts with something that I thought was straw on top of them

but is

real y a kind of leaf that grows everywhere. They pick it and

dry it and lay it so it overlaps to make the roof rainproof.

This

part is women's work. Menfolks drive

157 the stakes for the hut and sometimes help build the

wal s with mud and rock from the streams.

You never saw such curious faces as the vil age folks

surrounded us with. At first they just looked. Then one or

two of the women

touched my and Corrine's dresses. My dress was so dirty

round the hem from dragging on the ground for three nights

of cooking

round a campfire that I was ashamed of myself. But then I

took a look at the dresses they were wearing. Most looked

like they'd

been drug across the yard by the pigs. And they don't fit. So

then they moved up a little bit?nobody saying a word yet?

and touched

our hair. Then looked down at our shoes. We looked at

Joseph. Then he told us they were acting this way because

the missionaries

before us were white people, and vice versa. The men had

been to the-port, some of them, and had seen the white

merchant, so they

knew white men could be something else too. But the

women had never been to the port and the only white

person they'd seen was

the missionary they had buried a year ago.

Samuel asked if they'd ever seen the white woman

missionary twenty miles farther on, and he said no. Twenty

miles through the jungle

is a very long trip. The men might hunt up to ten miles

around the vil age, but the women stayed close to their huts

and fields.

Then one of the women asked a question. We looked at

Joseph. He said the woman wanted to know if the children

belonged to me or

to Corrine or to both of us. Joseph said they belonged to

Corrine. The woman looked us both over, and said

something else. We

looked at Joseph. He said the woman said they both

looked like me. We al laughed politely.

Then another woman had a question. She wanted to know

if I was also Samuel's wife.

158 Joseph said no, that I was a missionary just like

Samuel and Corrine. Then someone said they never

suspected missionaries could

have children. Then another said he never dreamed

missionaries could be black.

Then someone said, That the new missionaries would be

black and two of them women was exactly what he

haddreamed, and just last

night, too.

By now there was a lot of commotion. Little heads began to

pop from behind mothers' skirts and over big sisters'

shoulders. And

we were sort of swept along among the vil agers, about

three hundred of them, to a place without wal s but with a

leaf roof, where

we al sat down on the ground, men in front, women and

children behind. Then there was loud whispering among

some very old men

who looked like the church elders back home?with their

baggy trousers and shiny, il -fitting coats?Did black

missionaries drink

palm wine?

Corrine looked at Samuel and Samuel looked at Corrine.

But me and the children were already drinking it, because

someone had already

put the little brown clay glasses in our hands and we were

too nervous not to start sipping.

We got there around four o'clock, and sat under the leaf

canopy until nine. We had our first meal there, a chicken

and groundnut

(peanut) stew which we ate with our fingers. But mostly we

listened to songs and watched dances that raised lots of

dust.

The biggest part of the welcoming ceremony was about the

roofleaf, which Joseph interpreted for us as one of the

vil agers recited

the story that it is based upon. The people of this vil age

think they have always lived on the exact spot where then:

vil age

now stands. And this spot has been good to them, they

plant cassava fields that yield huge crops. They plant

ground-

159 v>

nuts that do the same. They plant yam and cotton and mil et.

Al kinds of things. But once, a long time ago, one man in

the vil age

wanted more than his share of land to plant. He wanted to

make more crops so as to use his surplus for trade with the

white men

on the coast. Because he was chief at the time, he

gradual y took more and more of the common land, and

took more and more wives

to work it. As his greed increased he also began to

cultivate the land on which the roofleaf grew. Even his wives

were upset by

this and tried to complain, but they were lazy women and no

one paid any attention to them. Nobody could remember a

time when

roofleaf did not exist in overabundant amounts. But

eventual y, the greedy chief took so much of this land that

even the elders

were disturbed. So he simply bought them off?with axes

and cloth and cooking pots that he got from the coast

traders.

But then there came a great storm during the rainy season

that destroyed al the roofs on al the huts in the vil age, and

the

people discovered to their dismay that there was no longer

any roofleaf to be found. Where roofleaf had flourished from

time's'beginning,

there was cassava. Mil et. Groundnuts.

For six months the heavens and the winds abused the

people of Olinka. Rain came down in spears, stabbing

away the mud of their

wal s. The wind was so fierce it blew the rocks out of the

wal s and into the people's cooking pots. Then cold rocks,

shaped like

mil et bal s, fel from the sky, striking everyone, men and

women and children alike, and giving them fevers. The

children fel

il first, then their parents. Soon the vil age began to die. By

the end of the rainy season, half the vil age was gone.

The people prayed to their gods and waited impatiently for

the seasons to change. As soon as the rain

160 stopped they rushed to the old rootleaf beds and tried

to find the old roots. But of the endless numbers that had

always grown

there, only a few dozen remained. It was five years before

the roofleaf became plentiful again. During those five years

many more

in the vil age died. Many left, never to return. Many were

eaten by animals. Many, many were sick. The chief was

given al his

storebought utensils and forced to walk away from the

vil age forever. His wives were given to other men.

On the day when al the huts had roofs again from the

rootleaf, the vil agers celebrated by singing and dancing

and tel ing the

story of the rootleaf. The rootleaf became the thing they

worship.

Looking over the heads of the children at the end of this

table, I saw coming slowly towards us, a large brown spiky

thing as big

as a room, with a dozen legs walking slowly and careful y

under it. When it reached our canopy, it was presented to

us. It was

our roof.

As it approached, the people bowed down.

The white missionary before you would not let us have this

ceremony, said Joseph. But the Olinka like it very much.

We know a roofleaf

is not Jesus Christ, but in its own humble way, is it not

God?

So there we sat, Celie, face to face with the Olinka God.

And Celie, I was so tired and sleepy and ful of chicken and

groundnut

stew, my ears ringing with song, that al that Joseph said

made perfect sense to me.

I wonder what you wil make of al this?

I send my love,

Your sister,

Nettie

161

It has been a long time since I had time to write. But always,

no matter what I'm doing, I am writing to you. Deaf Celie, I

say

in my head in the middle of Vespers, the middle of the

night, while cooking, Dear, dear Celie. And I imagine that

you real y do

get my letters and that you are writing me back: Dear

Nettie, this is what life is like for me.

We are up at five o'clock for a light breakfast of mil et

porridge and fruit, and the morning classes. We teach the

children English,

reading, writing, history, geography, arithmetic and the

stories of the bible. At eleven o'clock we break for lunch

and household

duties. From one until four it is too hot to move, though

some of the mothers sit behind their huts and sew. At four

o'clock we

teach the older children and at night we are available for

adults. Some of the older children are used to coming to

the mission

school, but the smal er ones are not. Their mothers

sometimes drag them here, screaming and kicking. They

are al boys. Olivia

is the only girl.

The Olinka do not believe girls should be educated. 161

162 When I asked a mother why she thought this, she said:

A girl is nothing to herself; only to her husband can she

become something.

What can she become? I asked.

Why, she said, the mother of his children.

But I am not the mother of anybody's children, I said, and I

am something.

You are not much, she said. The missionary's drudge.

It is true that I work harder here than I ever dreamed I could

work, and that I sweep out the school and tidy up after

service,

but I don't feel like a drudge. I was surprised that this

woman, whose Christian name is Catherine, saw me in this

light.

She has a little girl, Tashi, who plays with Olivia after

school. Adam is the only boy who wil speak to Olivia at

school. They

are not mean to her, it is just?what is it? Because she is

where they are doing "boys' things," they do not see her.

But never

fear, Celie, Olivia has your stubbornness and

clearsightedness, and she is smarter than al of them,

including Adam, put together.

Why can't Tashi come to school? she asked me. When I

told her the Olinka don't believe in educating girls she said,

quick as a

flash, They're like white people at home who don't want

colored people to learn.

Oh, she's sharp, Celie. At the end of the day, when Tashi

can get away from al the chores her mother assigns her,

she and Olivia

secret themselves in my hut and everything Olivia has

learned she shares with Tashi. To Olivia right now Tashi

alone is Africa.

The Africa she came beaming across the ocean hoping to

find. Everything else is difficult for her.

The insects, for instance. For some reason, al of her 162

163 bites turn into deep, runny sores, and she has a lot of

trouble sleeping at night because the noises from the forest

frighten

her. It is taking a long time for her to become used to the

food, which is nourishing but, for the most part, indifferently

prepared.

The women of the vil age take turns cooking for us, and

some are cleaner and more conscientious than others.

Olivia gets sick

from the food prepared by any of the chiefs wives. Samuel

thinks it may be the water they use, which comes from a

separate spring

that runs clear even in the dry season. But the rest of us

have no il effects. It is as if Olivia fears the food from these

wives

because they al look so unhappy and work so hard.

Whenever they see her they talk about the day when she

wil become their littlest

sister/wife. It is just a joke, and they like her, but I wish they

wouldn't say it. Even though they are unhappy and work like

donkeys they stil think it is an honor to be the chiefs wife.

He walks around al day holding his bel y up and talking and

drinking

palm wine with the healer.

Why do they say I wil be a wife of the chief? asks Olivia.

That is as high as they can think, I tel her.

He is fat and shiny with huge perfect teeth. She thinks she

has nightmares about him.

You wil grow up to be a strong Christian woman, I tel -her.

Someone who helps her people to advance. You wil be a

teacher or

a nurse. You wil travel. You wil know many people greater

than the chief.

Wil Tashi? she wants to know.

Yes, I tel her, Tashi too.

Corrine said to me this morning, Nettie, to stop any kind of

confusion in the minds of these people, I think we should

cal one

another brother and sister, al the

164 time. Some of them can't seem to get it through their

thick skul s that you are not Samuel's other wife. I don't like

it, she

said.

Almost since the day we arrived I've noticed a change in

Corrine. She isn't sick. She works as hard as ever. She is

stil sweet

and good-natured. But sometimes I sense her spirit is

being tested and that something inher is not at rest.

That's fine, I said. I'm glad you brought it up.

And don't let the children cal you Mama Nettie, she said,

even hi play.

This bothered me a little, but I didn't say anything. The

children do cal me Mama Nettie sometimes because I do

a good bit of

fussing over them. But I never try to take Corrine's place.

And another thing, she said. I think we ought to try not to

borrow each other's clothes.

Wel , she never borrowed anything of mine because I don't

have much. But I'm al the time borrowing something of

hers.

You feeling yourself? I asked her.

She said yes.

I wish you could see my hut, Celie. I loveit. Unlike our

school, which is square, and unlike our church, which

doesn't have wal s?at

least during the dry season?my hut is round, wal ed, with a

round roofleaf roof. It is twenty steps across the middle and

fits

me to a T. Over the mud wal s I have hung Olinka platters

and mats and pieces of tribal cloth. The Olinka are known

for their

beautiful cotton fabric which they handweave and dye with

berries, clay, indigo and tree bark. Then there is my paraffin

camp

stove in the center, and my camp bed to one side, covered

with mosquito netting so that it almost looks tike the bed of

a bride.

Then I have a smal writing table where I write to you, a

lamp, and a

165 stool. Some wonderful rush mats on the floor. It is al

colorful and warm and homey. My only desire for it now is a

window!

None of the vil age huts have windows, and when I spoke of

a window to the women they laughed heartily. The rainy

season makes

the thought of a window ridiculous, apparently. 8ut I am

determined to have one, even if a flood col ects daily on my

floor.

I would give anything for a picture of you, Celie. In my trunk I

have pictures donated to us by the missionary societies in

England

and America. Pictures of Christ, the Apostles, Mary, the

Crucifixion. Speke, Livingstone, Stanley, Schweitzer.

Maybe one day I'l

put them up, but once, when I held them up to my fabric and

mat covered wal s they made me feel very smal and

unhappy, so I took

them down. Even the picture of Christ which general y looks

good anywhere looks peculiar here. We of course have al

of these

pictures hung in the school and many of Christ behind the

altar at the church..That is enough, I think, though Samuel

and Corrine

have pictures and relics (crosses) in their hut as wel .

Your sister,

Nettie

166

Tashi's mother and father were just here. They are upset

because she spends so much time with Olivia. She is

changing, becoming

quiet and too thoughtful, they say. She is becoming

someone else; her face is beginning to show the spirit of

one of her aunts

who was sold to the trader because she no longer fit into

vil age life. This aunt refused to marry the man chosen for

her. Refused

to bow to the chief. Did nothing but lay up, crack cola nuts

between her teeth and giggle.

They want to know what Olivia and Tashi do in my hut when

al the other little girls are busy helping their mothers.

Is Tashi lazy at home? I asked.

The father looked at the mother. She said, No, on the

contrary, Tashi works harder than most girls her age. And is

quicker to finish

her work. But it is only because she wishes to spend her

afternoons with Olivia. She learns everything I teach her as

if she already

knows it, said the mother, but this knowledge does not

real y enter her soul.

The mother seemed puzzled and afraid.

167 The father, angry.

I thought: Aha. Tashi knows she is learning a way of life she

wil never live. But I did not say this.

The world is changing, I said. It is no longer a world just for

boys and men.

Our women are respected here, said the father. We would

never let them tramp the world as American women do.

There is always someone

to look after the Olinka woman. A father. An uncle. A

brother or nephew. Do not be offended, Sister Nettie, but

our people pity

women such as you who are cast out, we know not from

where, into a world unknown to you, where you must

struggle al alone, for

yourself.

So I am an object of pity and contempt, I thought, to men

and women alike.

Furthermore, said Tashi's father, we are not simpletons.

We understand that there are places in the world where

women live differently

from the way our women do, but we do not approve of this

different way for our children.

But life is changing, even in Olinka, I said. We are here.

He spat on the ground. What are you? Three grown-ups

and two children. In the rainy season some of you wil

probably die. You people

do not last long in our climate. If you do not die, you wil be

weakened by il ness. Oh, yes. We have seen it al before.

You

Christians come here, try hard to change us, get sick and

go back to England, or wherever you come from. Only the

trader on the

coast remains, and even he is not the same white man,

year in and year out. We know because we send him

women.

Tashi is very intel igent, I said. She could be a teacher. A

nurse. She could help the people in the vil age.

168 There is no place here for a woman to do those things,

he said.

Then we should leave, I said. Sister Corrine and I.

No, no, he said.

Teach only the boys? I asked.

Yes, he said, as if my question was agreement.

There is a way that the men speak to women that reminds

me too much of Pa. They listen just long enough to issue

instructions.

They don't even look at women when women are speaking.

They look at the ground and bend their heads toward the

ground. The women

also do not "look in a man's face" as they say. To "look in a man's face" is a brazen thing to do. They look instead at his

feet

or his knees. And what can I say to this? Again, it is our

own behavior around Pa.

Next time Tashi appears at your gate, you wil send her

straight home, her father said. Then he smiled. Your Olivia

can visit her,

and learn what women are for.

I smiled also. Olivia must learn to take her education about

life where she can find it, I thought. His offer wil make a

splendid

opportunity.

Good-bye until the next time, dear Celie, from a pitiful, cast-

out woman who may perish during the rainy season.

Your loving sister,

Nettie

169

At first there was the faintest sound of movement in the

forest. A kind of low humming. Then there was chopping

and the sound of

dragging. Then a scent, some days, of smoke. But now,

after two months, during which I or the children or Corrine

has been sick,

al we hear is chopping and scraping and dragging. And

every day we smel smoke.

Today one of the boys in my afternoon class burst out, as

he entered, The road approaches! The road approaches!

He had been hunting

hi the forest with his father and seen it.

Every day now the vil agers gather at the edge of the vil age

near the cassava fields, and watch the building of the road.

And

watching them, some on their stools and some squatted

down on their haunches, al chewing cola nuts and making

patterns in the

dirt, I feel a great surge of love for them. For they do not

approach the roadbuilders empty-handedly. Oh, no. Each

day since

they saw the road's approach they have been stuffing the

roadbuilders with goat meat, mil et mush, baked yam and

cassava, cola

nuts and palm wine. Each day is

170 like a picnic, and I believe many friendships have been

made, although the roadbuilders are from a different tribe

some distance

to the North and nearer the coast, and their language is

somewhat different. I don't understand it, anyway, though

the people

of Olinka seem to. But they are clever people about most

things, and understand new things very quickly.

It is hard to believe we've been here five years. Time

moves slowly, but passes quickly. Adam and Olivia are

nearly as tal as

me and doing very wel in al their studies. Adam has a

special aptitude for figures and it worries Samuel that soon

he wil have

nothing more to teach him in this field, having exhausted his

own knowledge.

When we were in England we met missionaries who sent

their children back home when it was no longer possible to

teach them in the

bush. But it is hard to imagine life here without the children.

They love the open feeling of the vil age, and love living hi

huts. They are excited by the hunting expertise of the men

and the self-sufficiency of the women in raising their crops.

No matter

how down I may be, and sometimes I get very down indeed,

a hug from Olivia or Adam completely restores me to the

level of functioning,

if nothing else. Their mother and I are not as close as we

once were, but I feel more like then- aunt than ever. And the

three

of us look more and more alike every day.

About a month ago, Corrine asked me not to invite Samuel

to my hut unless she were present. She said it gave the

vil agers the

wrong idea. This was a real blow to me because I treasure

his company. Since Corrine almost never visits me herself I

wil have

hardly anybody to talk to, just in friendship. But the children

stil come and sometimes spend the night when their

parents want

to be alone. I love those times. We roast

171 groundnuts on my stove, sit on the floor and study

maps of al the countries in the world. Sometimes Tashi

comes over and tel s

stories that are popular among the Olinka children. I am

encouraging her and Olivia to write them down in Olinka

and English.

It wil be good practice for-them. Olivia feels that, compared

to Tashi, she has no good stories to tel . One day she

started

in on an "Uncle Remus" tale only to discover Tashi had the original version of it! Her little face just fel . But then we got

into a discussion of how Tashi's people's stories got to

America, which fascinated Tashi. She cried when Olivia

told how her grandmother

had been treated as a slave.

No one else hi this vil age wants to hear about slavery,

however. They acknowledge no responsibility whatsoever.

This is one thing

about them that I definitely do not like.

We lost Tashi's father during the last rainy season. He. fel

il with malaria and nothing the healer concocted saved him.

He refused

to take the medicine we use for it, or to let Samuel visit nun

at al . It was my first Olinka funeral. The women paint their

faces

white and wear white shroudlike garments and cry in a high

keeningvoice. They wrapped the body hi barkcloth and

buried it under

a big tree in the forest. Tashi was heartbroken. Al her

young life she has tried to please her father, never quite

realizing

that, as a girl, she never could. But the death brought her

and her mother closer together, and now Catherine feels

like one of

us. By one of us Imean me and the children and sometimes

Samuel. She is stil in mourning and sticking close to her

hut, but she

says she wil not marry again (since she already has five

boy children she can now do whatever she wants. She has

become an honorary

man) and when I went to visit her she made-it very clear that

172 Tashi must continue to learn. She is the most

industrious of al Tashi's father's widows, and her fields are

praised for their

cleanliness, productivity and general attractiveness.

Perhaps I can help her with her work. It is in work that the

women get to

know and care about each other. It was through work that

Catherine became friends with her husband's other wives.

This friendship among women is something Samuel often

talks about. Because the women share a husband but the

husband does not share

their friendships, it makes Samuel uneasy. It isconfusing, I

suppose. And it is Samuel's duty as a Christian minister to

preach

the bible's directive of one husband and one wife. Samuel

is confused because to him, since the women are friends

and wil do

anything for one another?not always, but more often than

anyone from America would expect?and since they giggle

and gossip and

nurse each other's children, then they must be happy with

things as they are. But many of the women rarely spend

time with their

husbands. Some of them were promised to old or middle-

aged men at birth. Their hVes always center around work

and their children

and other women (since a woman cannot real y have a man

for a friend without the worst kind of ostracism and gossip).

They indulge

their husbands, if anything. You should just see how they

make admiration over them. Praise their smal est

accomplishments. Stuff

them with palm wine and sweets. No wonder the men are

often childish. And a grown child is a dangerous thing,

especial y since,

among the Olinka, the husband has life and death power

over the wife. If he accuses one of his wives of witchcraft or

infidelity,

she can be kil ed.

Thank God (and sometimes Samuel's intervention) this has

not happened since we've been here. But the stories Tashi

tel s are often

about such gruesome events

173 that happened in the recent past. And God forbid that

the child of a favorite wife should fal il ! That is the point at

which

even the women's friendships break down, as each woman

fears the accusation of sorcery from the other, or from the

husband.

Merry Christmas to you and yours, dear Celie. We

celebrate it .here on the "dark" continent with prayer and song and a large picnic

complete with watermelon, fresh fruit punch, and barbecue!

God bless you, - ?*? Nettie

174

I meant to write you in time for Easter, but it was not a good

time for me and I did not want to burden you with any

distressing

news. So a whole year has gone by. The first thing I should

tel you about is the road. The road final y reached the

cassava fields

about nine months ago and the Olinka, who.love nothing

better than a celebration, outdid themselves preparing a

feast for the

roadbuilders who talked and laughed and cut their eyes at

the Olinka women the whole day. In the evening many were

invited into

the vil age itself and there was merrymaking far into the

night.

I think Africans are very much like white people back home,

in that they think they are the center of the universe and that

everything

that is done is done for them. The Olinka definitely hold this

view. And so they natural y thought the road being built was

for

them. And, in fact, the roadbuilders talked much of how

quickly the Olinka wil now be able to get to the coast. With

a tarmac

road it is only a three-day journey. By bicycle it wil be even

less. Of course no one in Olinka owns a bicycle, but one of

the

roadbuilders has one,

175 and al the Olinka men covet it and talk of someday

soon purchasing their own.

Wel , the morning after the road was "finished" as far as the Olinka were concerned (after al , it had reached their

vil age),

what should we discover but that the roadbuilders were

back at work. They have instructions to continue the road

for another thirty

miles! And to continue it on its present course right through

the vil age of Olinka. By the time we were out of bed, the

road

was already being dug through Catherine's newly planted

yam field. Of course the Olinka were up in arms. But the

roadbuilders

were literal y up in arms. They had guns, Celie, with orders

to shoot!

It was pitiful, Celie. The people felt so betrayed! They stood

by helplessly?they real y don't know how to fight, and rarely

think

of it since the old days of tribal wars?as their crops and

then their very homes were destroyed. Yes. The

roadbuilders didn't

deviate an inch from the plan the headman was fol owing.

Every hut that lay in the proposed roadpath was leveled.

And, Celie,

our church, our school, my hut, al went down in a matter of

hours. Fortunately, we were able to save al of our things,

but with

a tarmac road running straight through the middle of it, the

vil age itself seems gutted.

Immediately after understanding the roadbuilders'

intentions, the chief set off toward the coast, seeking

explanations and reparations.

Two weeks later he returned with even more disturbing

news. The whole territory, including the Olinkas' vil age, now

belongs to

a rubber manufacturer in England. As he neared the coast,

he was stunned to see hundreds and hundreds of vil agers

much like the

Olinka clearing the forests on each side of the road, and

planting rubber trees. The ancient, giant mahogany trees,

al the trees,

the game, everything of the forest was being destroyed,

and the

176 land was forced to lie flat, he said, and bare as the

palm of his hand.

At first he thought the people who told him about the

English rubber company were mistaken, if only about its

territory including

the Olinka vil age. But eventual y he was directed to the

governor's mansion, a huge white building, with flags flying

in its

yard, and there had an audience with the white man in

charge. It was this man who gave the roadbuilders their

orders, this man

who knew about the Olinka only from a map. He spoke in

English, which our chief tried to speak also.

It must have been a pathetic exchange. Our chief never

learned English beyond an occasional odd phrase he

picked up from Joseph,

who pronounces "English" "Yanglush."

But the worst was yet to be told. Since the Olinka no longer

own their vil age, they must pay rent for it, and in order to

use

the water, which also no longer belongs to them, they must

pay a water tax.

At first the people laughed. It real y did seem crazy. They've

been here forever. But the chief did not laugh.

We wil fight the white man, they said.

But the white man is not alone, said the chief. He has

brought his army.

That was several months ago, and so far nothing has

happened. The people live like ostriches, never setting foot

on the new road

if they can help it, and never, ever, looking towards the

coast. We have built another church and school. I have

another hut.

And so we wait.

Meanwhile, Corrine has been very il with African fever.

Many missionaries in the past have died from it.

But the children are fine. The boys now accept Olivia and

Tashi in class and more mothers are sending their

daughters to school.

The men do not like it: who wants a wife who knows

everything her husband knows? they

177 fume. But the women have their ways, and they love

their children, even their girls.

I wil write more when things start looking up. I trust God

they wil .

Your sister,

Nettie

178

This whole year, after Easter, has been difficult. Since

Corrine's il ness, al her work has fal en on me, and I must

nurse her

as wel , which she resents.

One day when I was changing her as she lay in bed, she

gave me a long, mean, but somehow pitiful look. Why do

my children look

like you? she asked.

Do you real y think they look so much like me? I said.

You could have spit them out, she said.

Maybe just living together, loving people makes them look

like you, I said. You know how much some old married

people look alike.

Even these women saw the resemblance the first day we

came, she said.

And that's worried you al this time? I tried to laugh it off.

But she just looked at me.

When did you first meet my husband? she wanted to know.

And that was when I knew what she thought. She 178

179 thinks Adam and Olivia are my children, and that

Samuel is their father!

Oh, Celie, this thing has been gnawing away at her al these

years!

I met Samuel the same day I met you, Corrine, I said. (I stil

haven't got the hang of saying "Sister" al the time.) As God is

my witness, that's the truth.

Bring the bible, she said.

I brought the bible, and placed my hand on it, and swore.

You've never known me to lie, Corrine, I said. Please

believe I am not lying now.

Then she cal ed Samuel, and made him swear that the day

she met me was the day he met me also.

He said: I apologize for this, Sister Nettie, please forgive

us.

As soon as Samuel left the room she made me raise my

dress and she sat up in her sickbed to examine my

stomach.

I felt so sorry for her, and so humiliated, Celie. And the way

she treats the children is the hardest part. She doesn't want

them

near her, which they don't understand. How could they?

They don't even know they were adopted.

The vil age is due to be planted in rubber trees this coming

season. The Olinka hunting territory has already been

destroyed, and

die men must go farther and farther away to find game. The

women spend al their time in the fields, tending their crops

and praying.

They sing to the earth and to the sky and to their cassava

and groundnuts. Songs of love and farewel .

We are al sad, here, Celie. I hope life is happier for you.

Your sister,

180

Guess'what? Samuel thought the children were mine too!

That is why he urged me to come to Africa with them. When

I showed up at

their house he thought I was fol owing my children, and, soft-

hearted as he is, didn't have the heart to turn me away.

If they are not yours, be said, whose are they?

But I had some questions for him, first.

Where did you get them? I asked. And Celie, he told me a

story that made my hah- stand on end. I hope you, poor

thing, are ready

for it.

Once upon a time, there was a wel -to-do farmer who

owned his own property near town. Our town, Celie. And as

he did so wel fanning

and everything he turned his hand to prospered, he

decided to open a store, and try his luck sel ing dry goods

as wel . Wel ,

his store did so wel that he talked two of his brothers into

helping him run it, and, as the months went by, they were

doing

better and better. Then the white merchants began to get

together and complain that this store was taking al the

black business

away from them, and the man's blacksmith shop that he set

up behind the store, was

181 taking some of the white. This would not do. And so,

one night, the man's store was burned down, his smithy

destroyed, and

the man and his two brothers dragged out of their homes in

the middle of the night and hanged.

The man had a wife whom he adored, and they had a little

girl, barely two years old. She was also pregnant with

another child.

When the neighbors brought her husband's body home, it

had been mutilated and burnt. The sight of it nearly kil ed

her, and her

second baby, also a girl, was born at this time. Although the

widow's body recovered, her mind was never the same.

She continued

to fix her husband's plate at mealtimes just as she'd always

done and was always ful of talk about the plans she and

her husband

had made. The neighbors, though not always intending to,

shunned her more and more, partly because the plans she

talked about

were grander than anything they could even conceive of for

colored people, and partly because her attachment to the

past was so

pitiful. She was a good-looking woman, though, and stil

owned land, but there was no one to work it for her, and she

didn't know

how herself; besides she kept waiting for her husband to

finish the meal she'd cooked for him and go to the fields

himself. Soon

there was nothing to eat that the neighbors did not bring,

and she and her smal children grubbed around in the yard

as best they

could.

While the second child was stil a baby, a stranger

appeared in the community, and lavished al his attention

on the widow and

her children; in a short while, they were married. Almost at

once she was pregnant a third time, though her mental

health was

no better. Every year thereafter, she was pregnant, every

year she became weaker and more mental y unstable, until,

many years

after she married the stranger, she died.

182 Two years before she died she had a baby girl that she

was too sick to keep. Then a baby boy. These children

were named Olivia

and Adam.

This is Samuel's story, almost word for word.

The stranger who married the widow was someone Samuel

had run with long before he found Christ. When the man

showed up at Samuel's

house with first Olivia and then Adam, Samuel felt not only

unable to refuse the children, but as if God had answered

his and

Corrine's prayers.

He never told Corrine about the man or about the children's

"mother" because he hadn't wanted any sadness to cloud

her happiness.

But then, out of nowhere, I appeared. He put two and two

together, remembered that his old running buddy had

always been a scamp,

and took me in without any questions. Which, to tel the

truth, had always puzzled me, but I put it down to Christian

charity.

Corrine had asked me once whether I was running away

from home. But I explained I was a big girl now, my family

back home very

large and poor, and it was time for me to get out and earn

my own living.

Tears had soaked my blouse when Samuel finished tel ing

me al this. I couldn't begin, then, to tel him the truth. But

Celie,

I can fel you. And I pray with al my heart that you wil get

this letter, if none of the others.

Pa is not our pa!

Your devoted Sister,

Nettie

183

That's it, say Shug. Pack your stuff. You coming back to

Tennessee with me.

But I feels daze.

My daddy lynch. My mama crazy. Al my little half-brothers

and sisters no kin to me. My children not my sister and

brother. Pa

not pa.

You must be sleep.

184

For the first time in my life I wanted to see Pa. So me and

Shug dress up in our new blue flower pants that match and

big floppy

Easter hats that match too, cept her roses red, mine yel ow,

and us dam hi the Packard and glide over there. They put in

paved

roads al up and down the county now and twenty miles go

like nothing.

I saw Pa once since I left home. One day me and Mr. ???

was loading up the wagon at the feed store. Pa was with

May El en and she

was trying to fix her stocking. She was bent down over her

leg and twisting the stocking into a knot above her knee,

and he was

standing over her tap-tap-tapping on the gravel with his

cane. Look like he was thinking bout hitting her with it.

Mr. ??? went up to them al friendly, with his hand stuck out,

but I kept loading the wagon and looking at the patterns on

the

sacks. I never thought I'd ever want to see him again.

Wel , it was a bright Spring day, sort of chil at first, like it be round Easter, and the first thing us notice soon as we turn

into the lane is how green everything is, like even though

the ground everywhere else not

185 wanned up good, Pa's land is warm and ready to go.

Then al along the road there's Easter lilies and jonquils and

daffodils

and al kinds of little early wildflowers. Then us notice al the

birds singing they little cans off, al up and down the hedge,

that itself is putting out little yel ow flowers smel like Virginia creeper. It al so different from the rest of the country

us drive through, it make us real quiet. I know this sound

funny, Nettie, but even the sun seemed to stand a little

longer over

our heads.

Wel , say Shug, al this is pretty enough. You never said how

pretty it was.

It wasn't this pretty, I say. Every Easter time it used to flood,

and al us children had colds. Anyhow, I say, us stuck close

to the house, and it sure ain't so hot.

That ain't so hot? she ast, as we swung up a long curving

hil I didn't remember, right up to a big yel ow two story

house with

green shutters and a steep green shingle roof.

I laughed. Us must have took the wrong turn, I say. This

some white person's house.

It was so pretty though that us stop the car and just set

looking at it.

What kind of trees al them flowering? ast Shug.

I don't know, I say. Look like peach, plum, apple, maybe

cherry. But whatever they is, they sure pretty.

Al round the house, al in back of it, nothing but blooming

trees. Then more lilies and jonquils and roses clamming

over everything.

And al the time the little birds from al over the rest of the

county sit up in these trees just going to town.

Final y, after us look at it awhile, I say, it so quiet, nobody

home, I guess.

Naw, say Shug, probably in church. A nice bright Sunday

like this.

186 Us better leave then, I say, before whoever it is lives

here gits back. But just as I say that I notice my eye is

staying on

a fig tree it recognize, and us hear a car turning up the

drive. Who should be in the car but Pa and some young girl

look like

his child.

He git out on his side, then go round to open the door for

her. She dress to kil in a pink suit, big pink hat and pink

shoes,

a little pink purse hanging on her arm. They look at our

license tag and then come up to the car. She put her hand

through his

arm.

Morning, he says, when he gits up to Shug's window.

Morning, she says slow, and I can tel he not what she

expect.

Anything I can do for you? He ain't notice me and probably

wouldn't even if he looked at me.

Shug say, under her breath, Is this him?

I say, Yeah.

What shock Shug and shock me too is how young he look.

He look older than the child he with, even if she is dress up

like a woman,

but he look young for somebody to be anybody that got

grown children and nearly grown grandchildren. But then I

remember, he not

my daddy, just my children daddy.

What your mama do, ast Shug, rob the cradle?

But he not so young.

I brought Celie, say Shug. Your daughter Celie. She wanted

to visit you. Got some questions to ast.

He seem to think back a second. Celie?he say. Like, Who

Celie? Then he say, Yal git out and come up on the porch.

Daisy, he say

to the little woman with him, go tel Hetty to hold dinner. She

squeeze his arm, reach up and kiss him on the jaw. He turn

his

head and watch her go up the walk, up the steps, and

through the front door. He fol ow us up the steps, up on the

porch, help

187 us pul out rocking chairs, then say, Now, what yal

want?

The children here? I ast.

What children? he say. Then he laugh. Oh, they gone with

they mama. She up and left me, you know. Went back to

her folks. Yeah,

he say, you would remember May El en.

Why she leave? I ast.

He laugh some more. Got too old for me, I reckon.

Then the little woman come back out and sit on the armrest

of his chair. He talk to us and fondle her arm.

This Daisy, he say. My new wife.

Why, say Shug, you don't look more than fifteen.

I ain't, say Daisy.

I'm surprise your people let you marry.

She shrug, look at Pa. They work for him, she say. Live on

his land.

I'm her people now, he say.

I feels so sick I almost gag. Nettie in Africa, I say. A

missionary. She wrote me that you ain't our real Pa.

Wel , he say. So now you know.

Daisy look at me with pity al over her face. It just like him to

keep that from you, she say. He told me how he brought up

two

little girls that wasn't even his, she say. I don't think I real y

believed it, til now.

Naw, he never told them, say Shug.

What a old sweetie pie, say Daisy, kissing him on top the

head. He fondle and fondle her arm. Look at me and grin.

Your daddy didn't know how to git along, he say. Whitefolks

lynch him. Too sad a story to tel pitiful little growing girls, he

say. Any man would have done what I done.

Maybe not, say Shug.

188 He look at her, then look at me. He can tel she know.

But what do he care?

Take me, he say, I know how they is. The key to al of 'em is

money. The trouble with our people is as soon as they got

out of

slavery they didn't want to give the white man nothing else.

But the fact is, you got to give 'em something. Either your

money,

your land, your woman or your ass. So what I did was just

right off offer to give 'em money. Before I planted a seed, I

made sure

this one and that one knowed one seed out of three was

planted for him.Before I ground a grain of wheat, the same

thing. And when

I opened up your daddy's old store in town, I bought me my

own white boy to run it. And what make it so good, he say, I

bought

him with whitefolks' money.

Ask the busy man your questions, Celie, say Shug. I think

his dinner getting cold.

Where my daddy buried, I ast. That al I real y want to know.

Next to your mammy, he say.

Any marker, I ast.

He look at me like I'm crazy. Lynched people don't git no

marker, he say. Like this something everybody know.

Mama got one? I ast.

He say, Naw.

The birds sing just as sweet when us leave as when us

come. Then, look like as soon as us turn back on the main

road, they stop.

By the time us got to the cemetery, the sky gray.

Us look for Ma and Pa. Hope for some scrap of wood that

say something. But us don't find nothing but weeds and

cockleburrs and

paper flowers fading on some of the graves. Shug pick up

a old horseshoe somebody

189 horse lose. Us took that old horseshoe and us turned

round and round together until we were dizzy enough to fal

out, and where

us would have fel us stuck the horseshoe in the ground.

Shug say, Us each other's peoples now, and kiss me.

189

190

I woke up this morning bound to tel Corrine and Samuel

everything. I went over to their hut and pul ed up a stool next

to Corrine's

bed. She's so weak by now that al she can do is took

unfriendly?and I could tel I wasn't welcome.

I said, Corrine, I'm here to tel you and Samuel the truth.

She said, Samuel already told me. If the children yours, why

didn't you just say so?

Samuel said, Now, honey.

She said, Don't Now Honey me. Nettie swore on the bible

to tel me the truth. To tel God the truth, and she lied.

Corrine, I said, I didn't lie. I sort of turned my back more on

Samuel and whispered: You saw my stomach, I said.

What do I know about pregnancy, she said. I never

experienced it myself. For al I know, women may be able to

rub out al the signs.

They can't rub out stretch marks, I said. Stretch marks go

right into the skin, and a woman's stomach

191 stretches enough so that it keeps a little pot, like al the

women have here.

She turned her face to the wal .

Corrine, I said, I'm the children's aunt. Their mother is my

older sister, Celie.

Then I told them the whole story. Only Corrine was stil not

convinced.

You and Samuel tel ing so many lies, who can believe

anything you say? she asked.

You've got to believe Nettie, said Samuel. Though the part

about you and Pa was a real shock to him.

Then I remembered what you told me about seeing Corrine

and Samuel and Olivia in town, when she was buying cloth

to make her and

Olivia dresses, and how you sent me to her because she

was the only woman you'd ever seen with money. I tried to

make Corrine

remember that day, but she couldn't.

She gets weaker and weaker, and unless she can believe

us and start to feel something for her children, I fear we wil

lose her.

Oh, Celie, unbelief is a terrible thing. And so is the hurt we

cause others unknowingly.

Pray for us,

Nettie

192

Every day for the past week I've been trying to get Corrine

to remember meeting you in town. I know if she can just

recal your

face, she wil believe Olivia (if not Adam) is your child. They

think Olivia looks like me, but that is only because I look like

you. Olivia has your face and eyes, exactly. It amazes me

that Corrine didn't see the resemblance.

Remember the main street of town? I asked. Remember

the hitching post in front of Finley's dry goods store?

Remember how the store

smelted like peanut shel s?

She says she remembers al this, but no men speaking to

her.

Then I remember her quilts. The Olinka men make beautiful

quilts which are ful of animals and birds and people. And

as soon as

Corrine saw them, she began to make a quilt that

alternated one square of appliqued figures with one nine-

patch block, using the

clothes

193 the children had outgrown, and some of her old

dresses.

I went to her trunk and started hauling out quilts. Don't touch

my things, said Corrine. I'm not gone yet.

I held up first one and then another to the light, trying to find

the first one I remembered her making. And trying to

remember,

at the same time, the dresses she and Olivia were wearing

the first months I lived with them.

Aha, I said, when I found what I was looking for, and laid the

quilt across the bed.

Do you remember buying this cloth? I asked, pointing to a

flowered square. And what about this checkered bird?

She traced the patterns with her finger, and slowly her eyes

fil ed with tears.

She was so much like Olivia! she said. I was afraid she'd

want her back. So I forgot her as soon as I could. Al I let

myself think

about was how the clerk treated me! I was acting like

somebody because I was Samuel's wife, and a Spelman

Seminary graduate, and

he treated me like any ordinary nigger. Oh, my feelings

were hurt! And I was mad! And that's what I thought about,

even told Samuel

about, on the way home. Not about your sister?what was

her name??Celie? Nothing about her.

She began to cry in earnest. Me and Samuel holding her

hands.

Don't cry. Don't cry, I said. My sister was glad to see Olivia

with you. Glad to see her alive. She thought both her

children were

dead.

Poor thing! said Samuel. And we sat there talking a 193

194 little and holding on to each other until Corrine fel off to

sleep.

But, Celie, in the middle of the night she woke up, turned to

Samuel and said: I believe. And died anyway.

Your Sister in Sorrow,

Nettie

195

Just when I think I've learned to live with the heat, the

constant dampness, even steaminess of my clothes, the

swampiness under

my arms and between my legs, my Mend comes. And

cramps and aches and pains?but I must stil keep going as

if nothing is happening,

or be an embarrassment to Samuel, the children and

myself. Not to mention the vil agers, who think women who

have their friends

should.not even be seen.

Right after her mother's death, Olivia got herfriend; she and

lashi tend to each other is my guess. Nothing is said to me,

in any

event, and I don't know how to bring the subject up. Which

feels wrong to me; but if you talk to an Olinka girl about her

private

parts, her mother and father wil be annoyed, and it is very

important to Olivia not to be looked upon as an outsider.

Although

the one ritual they do have to celebrate womanhood is so

bloody and painful, I forbid Olivia to even think about it.

Do you remember how scared I was when it first happened

to me? I thought I had cut myself. But thank God you were

there to tel

me I was al right.

196 We buried Corrine in the Olinka way, wrapped in

barkcloth under a large tree. Al of her sweet ways went with

her. Al of her

education and a heart intent on doing good. She taught me

so much! I know I wil miss her always. The children were

stunned by

their mother's death. They knew she was very sick, but

death is not something they think about hi relation to their

parents or

themselves. It was a strange little procession. Al of us hi

our white robes and with our faces painted white. Samuel is

like

someone lost. I don't believe they've spent a night apart

since their marriage.

And how are you? dear Sister. The years have come and

gone without a single word from you. Only the sky above us

do we hold hi

common. I look at it often as if, somehow, reflected from its

immensities, I wil one day find myself gazing into your

eyes. Your

dear, large, clean and beautiful eyes. Oh, Celie! My life

here is nothing but work, work, work, and worry. What

girlhood I might

have had passed me by. And I have nothing of my own. No

man, no children, no close friend, except for Samuel. But I

dohave children,

Adam and Olivia. And I dohave friends, Tashi and

Catherine. I even have a family?this vil age, which has fal en

on such hard times.

Now the engineers have come to inspect the territory. Two

white men came yesterday and spent a couple of hours

strol ing about

the vil age, mainly looking at the wel s. Such is the innate

politeness of the Olinka that they rushed about preparing

food for

them, though precious little is left, since many of the

gardens that flourish at this time of the year have been

destroyed. And

the white men sat eating as if the food was beneath notice.

It is understood by the Olinka that nothing good is 1%

197 likely to come fromthe same persons who destroyed

their houses, but custom dies hard. I did not speak to the

men myself, but

Samuel did. He said their talk was al of workers,

kilometers of land, rainfal , seedlings, machinery, and

whatnot. One seemed

total y indifferent to the people around him?simply eating

and then smoking and staring off into the distance?and the

other, somewhat

younger, appeared to be enthusiastic about learning the

language. Before, he says, it dies out.

I did not enjoy watching Samuel speaking to either of them.

The one who hung on every word, or the one who looked

through Samuel's

head.

Samuel gave me al of Corrine's clothes, and I need them,

though none of our clothing is suitable hi this climate. This

is true

even of the clothing the Africans wear. They used to wear

very little, but the ladies of England introduced the Mother

Hubbard,

a long, cumbersome, il -fitting dress, completely shapeless,

that inevitably gets dragged in the fire, causing burns

aplenty.

I have never been able to bring myself to wear one of these

dresses, which al seem to have been made with giants in

mind, so

I was glad to have Corrine's things. At the same time, I

dreaded putting them on. I remembered her saying we

should stop wearing

each other's clothes. And the memory pained me.

Are you sure Sister Corrine would want this? I asked

Samuel. .

Yes, Sister Nettie, he said. Try not to hold her fears against

her. At the end she understood, and believed. And

forgave?whatever

there was to forgive.

I should have said something sooner, I said.

He asked me to tel him about you, and the words poured

out like water. I was dying to tel someone

198 about us. I told him about my letters to you every

Christmas and Easter, and about how much it would have

meant to us if he

had gone to see you after I left. He was sorry he hesitated

to become involved.

If only I'd understood then what I know now! he said.

But how could he? There is so much we don't understand.

And so much unhappiness comes because of that.

love and Merry Christmas to you,

Your sister Nettie

199

I don't write to God no more, I write to you.

What happen to God? ast Shug.

Who that? I say.

She look at me serious.

Big a devil as you is, I say, you not worried bout no God,

surely.

She say, Wait a minute. Hold on just a minute here. Just

because I don't harass it like some peoples us know don't

mean I ain't

got religion.

What God do for me? I ast.

She say, Celie! Like she shock. He gave you life, good

health, and a good woman that love you to death.

Yeah, I say, and he give me a lynched daddy, a crazy

mama, a lowdown dog of a step pa and a sister I probably

won't ever see again.

Anyhow, I say, the God I been praying and writing to is a

man. And act just tike al the other mens I know. Trifling,

forgitful

and lowdown.

She say, Miss Celie, You better hush. God might hear you.

Let 'im hear me, I say. If he ever listened to poor

200 colored women the world would be a different place, I

can tel you.

She talk and she talk, trying to budge me way from

blasphemy. But I blaspheme much as I want to.

Al my life I never care what people thought bout nothing I

did, I say. But deep in my heart I care about God. What he

going to

think. And come to find out, he don't think. Just sit up there

glorying in being deef, I reckon. But it ain't easy, trying to

do without God. Even if you know he ain't there, trying to do

without him is a strain.

I is a sinner, say Shug. Cause I was born. I don't deny it. -

But once you find out what's out there waiting for us, what

else can

you be?

Sinners have more good times, I say.

You know why? she ast.

Cause you ain't al the time worrying bout God, I say.

Naw, that ain't it, she say. Us worry bout God a lot. But once

us feel loved by God, us do the best us can to please him

with what

us like.

You tel ing me God love you, and you ain't never done

nothing for him? I mean, not go to church, sing in the choir,

feed the preacher

and al like that?

But if God love me, Celie, I don't have to do al that. Unless I

want to. There's a lot of other things I can do that I speck

God

likes.

Like what? I ast.

Oh, she say. I can lay back and just admire stuff. Be happy.

Have a good time.

Wel , this sound like blasphemy sure miff.

She say, Celie, tel the truth, have you ever found God in

church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for

him to

show. Any God I ever felt in

201 church I brought in with me. And I think al the other

folks did too. They come to church to shareGod, not find

God.

Some folks didn't have him to share, I said. They the ones

didn't speak to me while I was there struggling with my big

bel y and

Mr. ??? children.

Right, she say.

Then she say: Tel me what your God look like, Celie.

Aw naw, I say. I'm too shame. Nobody ever ast me this

before, so I'm sort of took by surprise. Besides, when I think

about it,

it don't seem quite right. But it al I got. I decide to stick up

for him, just to see what Shug say.

Okay, I say. He big and old and tal and graybearded and

white. He wear white robes and go barefooted.

Blue eyes? she ast.

Sort of bluish-gray. Cool. Big though. White lashes, I say.

She laugh.

Why you laugh? I ast. I don't think it so funny. What you

expect him to look like, Mr. ????

That wouldn't be no improvement, she say. Then she tel me

this old white man is the same God she used to see when

she prayed.

If you wait to find God in church, Celie, she say, that's who

is bound to show up, cause that's where he live.

How come? I ast.

Cause that's the one that's in the white folks' white bible.

Shug! I say. God wrote the bible, white folks had nothing to

do with it.

How come he look just like them, then? she say. Only

bigger? And a heap more hair. How come the

202 bible just like everything else they make, al about them

doing one thing and another, and al the colored folks doing

is gitting

cursed?

I never thought bout that.

Nettie say somewhere in the bible it say Jesus' hair was

like lamb's wool, I say.

Wel , say Shug, if he came to any of these churches we

talking bout he'd have to have it conked before anybody

paid him any attention.

The last thing niggers, want to think about they God is that

his hair kinky.

That's the truth, I say.

Ain't no way to read the bible and not think God white, she

say. Then she sigh. When I found out I thought God was

white, and a

man, I lost interest. You mad cause he don't seem to listen

to your prayers. Humph! Do the mayor listen to anything

colored say?

Ask Sofia, she, say.

But I don't have to ast Sofia. I know white people never

listen to colored, period. If they do, they only listen long

enough to

be able to tel you what to do.

Here's the thing, say Shug. The thing I believe. God is

inside you and inside everybody else. You come into the

world with God.

But only them that search for it inside find it. And

sometimes it just manifest itself even if you not looking, or

don't know

what you looking for. Trouble do it for most folks, I think.

Sorrow, lord. Feeling like shit.

It? I ast.

Yeah, It. God ain't a he or a she, but a It.

But what do it look like? I ast.

Don't look like nothing, she say. It ain't a picture show. It

ain't something you can look at apart from anything else,

including

yourself. I believe God is everything, say Shug. Everything

that is or ever was or

203 ever wil be. And when you can feel that, and be happy

to feel that, you've found It.

Shug a beautiful something, let me tel you. She frown a

little, look out cross the yard, lean back in her chair, look

like a big

rose.

She say, My first step from the old white man was trees.

Then air. Then birds. Then other people. But one day when I

was sitting

quiet and feeling like a motherless child, which I was, it

come to me: that feeling of being part of everything, not

separate

at al . I knew that if I cut a tree, my arm would bleed. And I

laughed and I cried and I run al around the house. I knew

just

what it was. In fact, when it happen, you can't miss it. It sort

of like you know what, she say, grinning and rubbing high

up

on my thigh.

Shug! Isay.

Oh, she say. God love al them feelings. That's some of the

best stuff God did. And when you know God loves 'em you

enjoys 'em

a lot more. You can just relax, go with everything that's

going, and praise God by liking what you like.

God don't think it dirty? I ast.

Naw, she say. God made it. Listen, God love everything you

love?and a mess of stuff you don't. But more than anything

else, God

love admiration.

You saying God vain? I ast.

Naw, she say. Not vain, just wanting to share a good thing. I

think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a

field

somewhere and don't notice it.

What it do when it pissed off? I ast.

Oh, it make something else. People think pleasing God is

al God care about. But any fool living in the world can see it

always

trying to please us back.

Yeah? I say.

204 Yeah, she say. It always making little surprises and

springing them on us when us least expect.

You mean it want to be loved, just like the bible say.

Yes, Celie, she say. Everything want to be loved. Us sing

and dance, make faces and give flower bouquets, trying to

be loved. You

ever notice that trees do everything to git attention we do,

except walk?

Wel , us talk and talk bout God, but I'm stil adrift. Trying to

chase that old white man out of my head. I been so busy

thinking

bout him I never truly notice nothing God make. Not a blade

of corn (how it do that?) not the color purple (where it come

from?).

Not the little wildflowers. Nothing.

Now that my eyes opening, I feels like a fool. Next to any

little scrub of a bush in my yard, Mr. ?.??'s evil sort of

shrink. But

not altogether. Stil , it is like Shug say, You have to git man

off your eyebal , before you can see anything a'tal .

Man corrupt everything, say Shug. He on your box of grits,

in your head, and al over the radio. He try to make you think

he everywhere.

Soon as you think he everywhere, you think he God. But he

ain't. Whenever you trying to pray, and man plop himself on

the other

end of it, tel him to git lost, say Shug. Conjure up flowers,

wind, water, a big rock.

But this hard work, let me tel you. He been there so long,

he don't want to budge. He threaten lightening, floods and

earthquakes.

Us fight. I hardly pray at al . Every time I conjure up a rock, I

throw it.

Amen

205

When I told Shug I'm writing to you instead of to God, she

laugh. Nettie don't know these people, she say.

Considering who I been

writing to, this strike me funny.

It was Sofia you saw working as the mayor's maid. The

woman you saw carrying the white woman's packages that

day in town. Sofia

Mr. ???'s son Harpo's wife. Polices lock her up for sassing

the mayor's wife and hitting the mayor back. First she was

hi prison

working hi the laundry and dying fast. Then us got her move

to the mayor's house. She had to sleep hi a little room up

under the

house, but it was better than prison. Flies, maybe, but no

rats.

Anyhow, they kept her eleven and a half years, give her six

months off for good behavior so she could come home

early to her family.

Her bigger children married and gone, and her littlest

children mad at her, don't know who she is. Think she act

funny, look old

and dote on that little white gal she raise.

Yesterday us al had dinner at Odessa's house. Odessa

Sofia's sister. She raise the kids. Her and her

206 husband Jack. Harpo's woman Squeak, and Harpo

himself.

Sofia sit down at the big table like there's no room for her.

Children reach cross her like she not there. Harpo and

Squeak act

like a old married couple. Children cal Odessa mama. Cal

Squeak little mama. Cal Sofia "Miss." The only one seem

to pay her

any tendon at al is Harpo and Squeak's little girl, Suzie Q.

She sit cross from Sofia and squinch up her eyes at her.

As soon as dinner over, Shug push back her chair and light

a cigarette. Now is come the time to tel yal , she say.

Tel us what? Harpo ast.

Us leaving, she say.

Yeah? say Harpo, looking round for the coffee. And then

looking over at Grady.

Us leaving, Shug say again. Mr. ??? look struck, like he

always look when Shug say she going anywhere. He reach

down and rub his

stomach, look off side her head like nothing been said.

Grady say, Such good peoples, that's the truth. The salt of

the earth. But?time to move on.

Squeak not saying nothing. She got her chin glued to her

plate. I'm not saying nothing either. I'm waiting for the

feathers to

fly.

Celie is coming with us, say Shug.

Mr. ???'s head swivel back straight. Say what? he ast.

Celie is coming to Memphis with me.

Over my dead body, Mr. ??? say.

You satisfied that what you want, Shug say, cool as clabber.

Mr. ??? start up from his seat, look at Shug, plop back

down again. He look over at me. I thought you was final y

happy, he say.

What wrong now?

207 You a lowdown dog is what's wrong, I say. It's time to

leave you and enter into the Creation. And your dead body

just the welcome

mat I need.

Say what? he ast. Shock.

Al round the table folkses mouths be dropping open.

You took my sister Nettie away from me, I say. And she was

the only person love me in the world.

Mr. ??? start to sputter. ButButButButBut. Sound like some

kind of motor.

But Nettie and my children coming home soon, I say. And

when she do, al us together gon whup your ass.

Nettie and your children! say Mr. ___. You talking crazy.

I got children, I say. Being brought up in Africa. Good

schools, lots of fresh air and exercise. Turning out a heap

better than

the fools you didn't even try to raise.

Hold on, say Harpo.

Oh, hold on hel , I say. If you hadn't tried to rule over Sofia

the white folks never would have caught her.

Sofia so surprise to hear me speak up she ain't chewed for

ten minutes.

That's a lie, say Harpo.

A little truth in it, say Sofia.

Everybody look at her like they surprise she there. It like a

voice speaking from the grave.

You was al rotten children, I say. You made my life a hel on

earth. And your daddy here ain't dead horse's shit.

Mr. ??? reach over to slap me. I jab my case knife in his

hand.

You bitch, he say. What wil people say, you running off to

Memphis like you don't have a house to look after?

208 Shug say, Albert. Try to think like you got some sense.

Why any woman give a shit what people think is a mystery

to me.

Wel , say Grady, trying to bring light. A woman can't git a

man if peoples talk.

Shug look at me and us giggle. Then us laugh sure miff.

Then Squeak start to laugh. Then Sofia. Al us laugh and

laugh.

Shug say, Ain't they something? Us say um hum,and slap

the table, wipe the water from our eyes.

Harpo look at Squeak. Shut up Squeak, he say. It bad hick

for women to laugh at men.

She say, Okay. She sit up straight, suck in her breath, try to

press her face together.

He look at Sofia. She look at him and tough in his face. I

already had my bad luck, she say. I had enough to keep me

laughing the

rest of my life.

Harpo look at her like he did the night she knock Mary

Agnes down. A little spark fly cross the table.

I got six children by this crazy woman, he mutter.

Five, she say.. .

He so outdone he can't even say, Say what?

He look over at the youngest child. She sul en, mean,

mischeevous and too stubborn to live in this world. But he

love her best

of al . Her name Henrietta.

Henrietta, he say.

She say, Yesssss . .. like they say it on the radio.

Everything she say confuse him. Nothing, he say. Then he

say, Go git me a cool glass of water.

She don't move.

Please, he say.

She go git the water, put it by his plate, give him a peck on

the cheek. Say, Poor Daddy. Sit back down.

You not gitting a penny of my money, Mr. ???. say to me.

Not one thin dime.

209 Did I ever ast you for money? I say. I never ast you for

nothing. Not even for your sorry hand in marriage.

Shug break in right there. Wait, she say. Hold it. Somebody

else going with us too. No use in Celie being the only one

taking the

weight.

Everybody sort of cut they eyes at Sofia. She the one they

can't quite find a place for. She the stranger.

It ain't me, she say, and her look say, Fuck you for

entertaining the thought. She reach for a biscuit and sort of

root her behind

deeper into her seat. One look at this big stout graying,

wildeyed woman and you know not even to ast. Nothing.

But just to clear this up neat and quick, she say, I'm home.

Period.

Her sister Odessa come and put her arms round her. Jack

move up close.

Course you is, Jack say.

Mama crying? ast one of Sofia children.

Miss Sofia too, another one say.

But Sofia cry quick, like she do most things.

Who going? she ast.

Nobody say nothing. It so quiet you can hear the embers

dying back in the stove. Sound like they fal ing in on each

other.

Final y, Squeak look at everybody from under her bangs.

Me, she say. I'm going North.

You going What? say Harpo. He so surprise. He begin to

sputter, sputter, just like his daddy. Sound like I don't know

what.

I want to sing, say Squeak.

Sing! say Harpo.

Yeah, say Squeak. Sing. I ain't sung in public since

Jolentha was born. Her name Jolentha. They cal her

SuzieQ.

210 You ain't had to sing in public since Jolentha was born.

Everything you need I done provided for.

I need to sing, say Squeak.

Listen Squeak, say Harpo. You can't go to Memphis. That's

al there is to it.

Mary Agnes, say Squeak.

Squeak, Mary Agnes, what difference do it make?

It make a lot, say Squeak. When I was Mary Agnes I could

sing in public.

Just then a little knock come on the door.

Odessa and Jack look at each other. Come in, say Jack.

A skinny little white woman stick most of herself through the

door.

Oh, you al are eating dinner, she say. Excuse me.

That's al right, say Odessa. Us just finishing up. But there's

plenty left. Why don't you sit down and join us. Or I could fix

you something to eat on the porch.

Oh lord, say Shug.

It Eleanor Jane, the white girl Sofia used to work for.

She look round til she spot Sofia, then she seem to let her

breath out. No thank you, Odessa, she say. I ain't hungry. I

just

come to see Sofia.

Sofia, she say. Can I see you on the porch for a minute.

Al right, Miss Eleanor, she say. Sofia push back from the

table and they go out on the porch. A few minutes later us

hear Miss

Eleanor sniffling. Then she real y boo-hoo.

What the matter with her? Mr. ___ ast.

Henrietta say, Prob-limbszzzz . . . like somebody on the

radio.

Odessa shrug. She always underfoot, she say.

A lot of drinking in that family, say Jack. Plus, they can't

keep that boy of theirs in col ege. He get drunk,

211 aggravate his sister, chase women, hunt niggers, and

that ain't al ,

That enough, say Shug. Poor Sofia.

Pretty soon Sofia come back in and sit down.

What the matter? ast Odessa.

A lot of mess back at the house, say Sofia.

You got to go back up there? Odessa ast.

Yeah, say Sofia. In a few minutes. But I'l try to be back

before the children go to bed.

Henrietta ast to be excuse, say she got a stomach ache.

Squeak and Harpo's little girl come over, look up at Sofia,

say, You gotta go Misofia?

Sofia say, Yeah, pul her up on her lap. Sofia on parole, she

say. Got to act nice.

Suzie Q lay her head on Sofia chest. Poor Sofia, she say,

just like she heard Shug. Poor Sofia.

Mary Agnes, darling, say Harpo, look how Suzie Q take to

Sofia.

Yeah, say Squeak, children know good when they see it.

She and Sofia smile at one nother.

Go on sing, say Sofia, I'l look after this one til you come

back.

You wil ? say Squeak.

Yeah, say Sofia.

And look after Harpo, too, say Squeak. Please ma'am.

Amen

212

Wel , you know wherever there's a man, there's trouble. And

it seem like, going to Memphis, Grady was al over the car.

No matter

which way us change up, he want to sit next to Squeak.

While me and Shug sleeping and he driving, he tel Squeak

al about life in North Memphis, Tennessee. I can't half

sleep for him

raving bout clubs and clothes and forty-nine brands of beer.

Talking so much bout stuff to drink make me have to pee.

Then us

have to find a road going off into the bushes to relieve

ourselves.

Mr. ??? try to act like he don't care I'm going.

You'l be back, he say. Nothing up North for nobody like you.

Shug got talent, he say. She can sing. She got spunk, he

say. She

can talk to anybody. Shug got looks, he say. She can stand

up and be notice. But what you got? You ugly. You skinny.

You shape

funny. You too scared to open your mouth to people. Al you

fit to do in Memphis is be Shug's maid. Take out her slop-

jar and

maybe cook her food. You not that good a cook either. And

this house ain't been dean good since my

213 first wife died. And nobody crazy or backward enough

to want to marry you, neither. What you gon do? Hire

yourself out to farm?

He laugh. Maybe somebody let you work on they railroad.

Any more letters come? I ast.

He say, What?

You heard me, I say. Any more letters from Nettie come?

If they did, he say, I wouldn't give 'em to you. You two of a

kind, he say. A man try to be nice to you, you fly in his face.

I curse you, I say.

What that mean? he say.

I say, Until you do right by me, everything you touch wil

crumble.

He laugh. Who you think you is? he say. You can't curse

nobody. Look at you. You black, you pore, you ugly, you a

woman. Goddam,

he say, you nothing at al .

Until you do right by me, I say, everything you even dream

about wil fail. I give it to him straight, just like it come to me.

And it seem to come to me from the trees.

Whoever heard of such a thing, say Mr. ???. I probably

didn't whup your ass enough.

Every lick you bit me you wil suffer twice, I say. Then I say,

You better stop talking because al I'm tel ing you ain't

coming

just from me. Look like when I open my mouth the air rush in

and shape words.

Shit, he say. I should have lock you up. Just let you out to

work.

The jail you plan for me is the one in which you wil rot, I say.

Shug come over to where us talking. She take one look at

my face and say Celie! Then she turn to Mr.

214 ???. Stop Albert, she say. Don't say no more. You just

going to make it harder on yourself.

I'l fix her wagon! say Mr. ???, and spring toward me.

A dust devil flew up on the porch between us, fil my mouth

with dirt. The dirt say, Anything you do to me, already done

to you.

Then I feel Snug shake me. Celie, she say. And I come to

myself.

I'm pore, I'm black, I may be ugly and can't cook, a voice

say to everything listening. But I'm here.

Amen, say Snug. Amen, amen.

215

So what is it like in Memphis? Shug's house is big and pink

and look sort of like a barn. Cept where you would put hay,

she got

bedrooms and toilets and a big bal room where she and

her band sometime work. She got plenty grounds round the

house and a bunch

of monuments and a fountain out front. She got statues of

folks I never heard of and never hope to see. She got a

whole bunch

of elephants and turtles everywhere. Some big, some little,

some in the fountain, some up under the trees. T\irtles and

elephants.

And al over her house. Curtains got elephants, bedspreads

got turtles.

Shug give me a big back bedroom overlook the backyard

and the bushes down by the creek.

I know you use to morning sun, she say.

Her room right cross from mine, in the shade. She work

late, sleep late, git up late. No turtles or elephants on her

bedroom furniture,

but a few statues spread out round the room. She sleep in

silks and satins, even her sheets. And her bed round!

I wanted to build me a round house, say Shug, but

everybody act like that's backward. You can't put

216 windows in a round house, they say. But I made me up

some plans, anyway. One of these days ... she say,

showing me the papers.

It a big round pink house, look sort of like some kind of fruit.

It got windows and doors and a lot of trees round it.

What it made of? I ast.

Mud, she say. But I wouldn't mind concrete. I figure you

could make the molds for each section, pour the concrete

in, let it get

hard, knock off the mold, glue the parts together somehow

and you'd have your house.

Wel , I like this one you got, I say. That one look a little

smal .

It ain't bad, say Shug. But I just feel funny living hi a square.

If I was square, then I could take it better, she say.

Us talk bout houses a lot. How they built, what kind of wood

people use. Talk about how to make the outside around

your house something

you can use. I sit down on the bed and start to draw a kind

of wood skirt around her concrete house. You can sit on

this, I say,

when you get tired of being in the house.

Yeah, she say, and let's put awning over it. She took the

pencil and put the wood skirt in the shade.

Flower boxes go here, she say, drawing some.

And geraniums in them, I say, drawing some.

And a few stone elephants right here, she say.

And a turtle or two right here.

And how us know you live here too? she ast.

Ducks! Isay.

By the time us finish our house look like it can swim or fly.

Nobody cook like Shug when she cook. She get up early in

the morning and go to market. 216

217 Buy only stuff that's fresh. Then she come home and sit

on the back step humming and shel ing peas or cleaning

col ards or

fish or whatever she bought. Then she git al her pots going

at once and turn on the radio. By one o'clock everything

ready and

she cal us to the table. Ham and greens and chicken and

cornbread. Chitlins and blackeyed peas and souse.

Pickled okra and watermelon

rind. Caramel cake and blackberry pie.

Us eat and eat, and drink a little sweet wine and beer too.

Then Shug and me go fal out in her room to listen to music

til al that food have a chance to settle. It cool and dark in

her

room. Her bed soft and nice. Us lay with our arms round

each other. Sometimes Shug read the paper out loud. The

news always sound

crazy. People fussing and fighting and pointing fingers at

other people, and never even looking for no peace.

People insane, say Shug. Crazy as betsy bugs. Nothing

built this crazy can last. Listen, she say. Here they building

a dam so they

can flood out a Indian tribe that been there since time. And

look at this, they making a picture bout that man that kilt al

them

women. The same man that play the kil er is playing the

priest. And look at these shoes they making now, she say.

Try to walk

a mile in a pair of them, she say. You be limping al the way

home. And you see what they trying to do with that man that

beat

the Chinese couple to death. Nothing whatsoever.

Yeah, I say, but some things pleasant.

Right, say Shug, turning the page. Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton

Hufflemeyer are pleased to announce the wedding of their

daughter June

Sue. The Morrises of Endover Road are spearheading a

social for the Episcopal church. Mrs. Herbert Edenfail was

on a visit last

218 week to the Adirondacks to see her ailing mother, the

former Mrs. Geoffrey Hood.

Al these faces look happy enough, say Shug. Big and

beery. Eyes dear and innocent, like they don't know them

other crooks on the

front page. But they the same folks, she say.

But pretty soon, after cooking a big dinner and making a to-

do about cleaning the house, Shug go back to work. That

mean she never

give a thought to what she eat. Never give a thought to

where she sleep. She on the road somewhere for weeks at

a time, come home

with bleary eyes, rotten breath, overweight and sort of

greasy. No place hardly to stop and real y wash herself,

especial y her

hair, on the road.

Let me go with you, I say. I can press your clothes, do your

hair. It would be like old times, when you was singing at

Harpo's.

She say, Naw. She can act like she not bored in front of a

audience of strangers, a lot of them white, but she wouldn't

have the

nerve to try to act in front of me.

Besides, she say. You not my maid. I didn't bring you to

Memphis to be that. I brought you here to love you and help

you get on

your feet.

And now she off on the road for two weeks, and me and

Grady and Squeak rattle round the house trying to get our

stuff together.

Squeak been going round to a lot of clubs and Grady been

taking her. Plus he seem to be doing a little farming out

back the house.

I sit in the dining room making pants after pants. I got pants

now hi every color and size under the sun. Since us started

making

pants down home, I ain't been able to stop. I change the

cloth, I change the print, I change the waist, I change the

pocket. I

change the hem, I change the ful ness of the leg. I make so

many pants Shug tease me. I didn't know what I was

starting,

219 she say, laughing. Pants al over her chairs, hanging al

in front of the china closet. Newspaper patterns and cloth al

over

the table and the floor. She come home, kiss me, step over

al the mess. Say, before she leave again, How much

money you think

you need thisweek?

Then final y one day I made the perfect pair of pants. For

my sugar, natural y. They soft dark blue jersey with teeny

patches of

red. But what make them so good is, they total y

comfortable. Cause Shug eat a lot of junk on the road, and

drink, her stomach

bloat. So the pants can be let out without messing up the

shape. Because she have to pack her stuff and fight

wrinkles, these

pants are soft, hardly wrinkle at al , and the little figures in

the cloth always look perky and bright. And they ful round

the

ankle so if she want to sing in 'em and wear 'em sort of like

a long dress, she can. Plus, once Shug put them on, she

knock your

eyes out.

Miss Celie, she say. You is a wonder to behold.

I duck my head. She run round the house looking at herself

in mirrors. No matter how she look, she look good.

You know how it is when you don't have nothing to do, I say,

when she brag to Grady and Squeak bout her pants. I sit

here thinking

bout how to make a living and before I know it I'm off on

another pair pants.

By now Squeak see a pair shelike. Oh, Miss Celie, she

say. Can I try on those?

She put on a pair the color of sunset. Orangish with a little

grayish fleck. She come back out looking just fine. Grady

look at

her like he could eat her up.

Shug finger the pieces of cloth I got hanging on everything.

It al soft, flowing, rich and catch the light. This a far cry from

that stiff army shit us started with, she say. You ought to

make up a special pair to thank and show Jack.

220 What she say that for. The next week I'm in and out of

stores spending more of Shug's money. I sit looking out

cross the yard

trying to see in my mind what a pair of pants for Jack would

look like. Jack is tal and kind and don't hardly say anything.

Love

children. Respect his wife, Odessa, and al Odessa

amazon sisters. Anything she want to take on, he right

there. Never talking

much, though. That's the main thing. And then I remember

one time he touch me. And it felt like his fingers had eyes.

Felt like

he knew me al over, but he just touch my arm up near the

shoulder.

I start to make pants for Jack. They have to be camel. And

soft and strong. And they have to have big pockets so he

can keep a

lot of children's things. Marbles and string and pennies and

rocks. And they have to be washable and they have to fit

closer round

the leg than Shug's so he can run if he need to snatch a

child out the way of something. And they have to be

something he can

lay back in when he hold Odessa in front of the fire. And ...

I dream and dream and dream over Jack's pants. And cut

and sew. And finish them. And send them off.

Next thing I hear, Odessa want a pair.

Then Shug want two more pah- just like the first. Then

everybody in her band want some. Then orders start to

come in from everywhere

Shug sing. Pretty soon I'm swamp.

One day when Shug come home,^I say, You know, I love

doing this, but I got to git out and make a living pretty soon.

Look like

this just holding me back.

She laugh. Let's us put a few advertisements in the paper,

she say. And let's us raise your prices a hefty notch. And

let's us

just go ahead and give you this diningroom for your factory

and git you some more women in here to cut and sew,

while you sit

back and

221 design. You making your living, Celie, she say. Girl,

you on your way.

Nettie, I am making some pants for you to beat the heat in

Africa. Soft, white, thin. Drawstring waist. You won't ever

have to

feel too hot and overdress again. I plan to make them by

hand. Every stitch I sew wil be a kiss.

Amen,

Your Sister, Celie Folkspants, Unlimited. Sugar Avery Drive

Memphis, Tennessee

222

I am so happy. I got love, I got work, I got money, friends

and time. And you alive and be home soon. With our

children.

Jerene and Darlene come help me with the business. They

twins. Never married. Love to sew. Phis, Darlene trying to

teach me how

to talk. She say us not so hot. A dead country give-away.

You say us where most folks say we, she say, and peoples

think you dumb.

Colored peoples think you a hick and white folks be amuse.

What I care? I ast. I'm happy.

But she say I feel more happier talking tike she talk. Can't

nothing make me happier than seeing you again, I think, but

I don't

say nothing. Every time I say something the way I say it, she

correct me until I say it some other way. Pretty soon it feel

tike

I can't think. My mind run up on a thought, git confuse, run

back and sort of lay down.

You sure this worth it? I ast.

She say Yeah. Bring me a bunch of books. White-folks al

over them, talking bout apples and dogs.

What I care bout dogs? I think. 222

223 Darlene keep trying. Think how much better Snug feel

with you educated, she say. She won't be shame to take

you anywhere.

Shug not shame no how, I say. But she don't believe this the

truth. Sugar, she say one day when Shug home, don't you

think it be

nice if Celie could talk proper?

Shug say, She can talk in sign language for al I care. She

make herself a nice cup of herb tea and start talking bout

hot oiling

her hair.

But I let Darlene worry on. Sometimes I think bout the

apples and the dogs, sometimes I don't. Look like to me

only a fool would

want you. to talk in a way that feel peculiar to your mind. But

she sweet and she sew good and us need something to

haggle over

while us work.

I'm busy making pants for Sofia now. One leg be purple,

one leg be red. I dream Sofia wearing these pants, one day

she was jumping

over the moon.

Amen,

Your sister, Celie

224

Walking down to Harpo and Sofia house it feel just like old

times. Cept the house new, down below the juke-joint, and

it a lot

bigger than it was before. Then too I feels different. Look

different. Got on some dark blue pants and a white silk shirt

that

look righteous. Little red flat-heel slippers, and a flower in

my hah:. I pass Mr. ??? house and him sitting up on the

porch and

he didn't even know who I was.

Just when I raise my hand to knock, I hear a crash. Sound

like a chair fal ing over. Then I hear arguing.

Harpo say, Whoever heard of women pal bearers. That al

I'm trying to say.

Wel , say Sofia, you said it. Now you can hush.

I know she your mother, say Harpo. But stil .

You gon help us or not? say Sofia.

What it gon look like? say Harpo. Three big stout women

pal bearers look like they ought to be home frying chicken.

Three of our brothers be with us, on the other side, say

Sofia. I guess they look like field hands.

But peoples use to men doing this sort of thing. 224

225 Women weaker, he say. People think they weaker, say

they weaker, anyhow. Women spose to take it easy. Cry if

you want to. Not

try to take over.

Try to take over, say Sofia. The woman dead. I can cry and

take it easy and lift the coffin too. And whether you help us

or not

with the food and the chairs and the get-together afterward,

that's exactly what I plan to do.

It git real quiet. After while Harpo say, real soft to Sofia,

Why you like this, huh? Why you always think you have to do

things

your own way? I ast your mama bout it one time, while you

was in jail.

What she say? ast Sofia.

She say you think your way as good as anybody else's.

Plus, it yours.

Sofia laugh.

I know my timing bad, but I knock anyhow.

Oh, Miss Celie, say Sofia, flinging open the screen. How

good you look. Don't she look good, Harpo? Harpo stare at

me like he never

seen me before.

Sofia give me a big hug and kiss me on the jaw. Where

Miss Shug? she ast.

She on the road, I say. But she was real sorry to hear your

mama pass.

Wel , say Sofia, Mama fight the good fight. If there's a glory

anywhere she right in the middle of it.

How you, Harpo? I ast. Stil eating?

He and Sofia laugh.

I don't reckon Mary Agnes could come back this time, say

Sofia. She was just here bout a month ago. You just ought

to see her and

Suzie Q.

Naw, I say. She final y working steady, singing at two or

three clubs round town. Folks love her a lot.

Suzie Q so proud of her, she say. Love her singing. Love

.her perfume. Love her dresses. Love to wear her hats and

shoes.

226 How she doing in school? I ast.

Oh, she fine, say Sofia. Smart as a little whip. Once she got

over being mad her mama left her and found out I was

Henrietta's

real mama, she was al right. She dote on Henrietta.

How Henrietta?

Evil, say Sofia. Little face always look like stormy weather.

But maybe she'l grow out of it. It took her daddy forty years

to

learn to be pleasant. He used to be nasty to his own ma.

Yal see much of him? I ast.

Bout as much as us see of Mary Agnes, say-Sofia.

Mary Agnes not the same, say Harpo.

What you mean? I ast.

I don't know, he say. Her mind wander. She talk like she

drunk. And every time she turn round look like she want to

see Grady.

They both smoke a lot of reefer, I say.

Reefer, say Harpo. What kind of a thing is that?

Something make you feel good, I say. Something make you

see visions. Something make your love come down. But if

you smoke it too

much it make you feebleminded. Confuse. Always need to

clutch hold of somebody. Grady grow it in the backyard, I

say.

I never heard of such a thing, say Sofia. It grow in the.

ground?

Like a weed, I say. Grady got half a acre if he got arow.-

How big it git? ast Harpo.

Big, I say. Way up over my head. And bushy.

And what part they smoke?

The leaf, I say.

And they smoke up al that? he ast.

I laugh. Naw, he sel most of it.

You ever taste it? he ast. 226

227 Yeah, I say. He make it up in cigarettes, sel 'em for a

dime. It rot your breath, I say, but yal want to try one?

Not if it makes us crazy, say Sofia. It hard enough to get by

without being a fool.

It just like whiskey, I say. You got to stay ahead of it. You

know a little drink now and then never hurt nobody, but when

you

can't git started without asking the bottle, you in trouble.

You smoke it much, Miss Cetie? Harpo ast.

Do I look like a fool? I ast. I smoke when I want to talk to

God. I smoke when I want to make love. Lately I feel like me

and God

make love just fine anyhow. Whether I smoke reefer or not.

Miss Cetie! say Sofia. Shock.

Girl, I'm bless, I say to Sofia. God know what I mean.

Us sit round the kitchen table and light up. I show 'em how

to suck in they wind. Harpo git strangle. Sofia choke.

Pretty soon Sofia say, That funny, I never heard that

humming before.

What humming? Harpo ast.

Listen, she say.

Us git real quiet and listen. Sure enough, us hear

iimmitimm.mnini-

What it coming from? ast Sofia. She git up and go look out

the door. Nothing there. Sound git louder. Ummmmmmm.

Harpo go look out the window. Nothing out there, he say.

Humming say ummmmmmm.

I think I know what it is, I say.

They say, What?

I say, Everything.

Yeah, they say. That make a lots of sense.

228 Wel , say Harpo at the funeral, here come the

amazons.

Her brothers there too, I whisper back. What you cal them?

I don't know, he say. Them three always stood by they crazy

sisters. Nothing yet could get 'em to budge. I wonder what

they wives

have to put up with.

They al march stoutly in, shaking the church, and place

Sofia mother in front the pulpit.

Folks crying and fanning and trying to keep a stray eye on

they children, but they don't stare at Sofia and her sisters.

They act

like this the way it always done. I love folks.

Amen

229

The first thing I notice bout Mr. ??? is how clean he is. His

skin shine. His hair brush back.

When he walk by the casket to review Sofia mother's body

he stop, whisper something to her. Pat her shoulder. On his

way back to

his seat he look over at me. I raise my fan and look off the

other way.

Us went back to Harpo's after the funeral.

I know you won't believe this, Miss Celie, say Sofia, but Mr.

??? act like he trying to git religion.

Big a devil as he is, I say, trying is bout al he can do.

He don't go to church or nothing, but he not so quick to

judge. He work real hard too.

What? I say. Mr. ??? work!

He sure do. He out there in the field from sunup to sundown.

And clean that house just like a woman.

Even cook, say Harpo. And what more, wash the dishes

when he finish.

Naw, I say. Yal must stil be dope.

But he don't talk much or be round people, Sofia say.

Sound like craziness closing in to me, I say.

Just then, Mr. ??? walk up.

230 How you Celie, he say.

Fine, I say. I look in his eyes and I see he feeling scared of

me. Wel , good, I think. Let him feel what I felt.

Shug didn't come with you this time? he say.

Naw, I say. She have to work. Sorry bout Sofia mama

though.

Anybody be sorry, he say. The woman that brought Sofia in

the world brought something.

I don't say nothing.

They put her away nice, he say.

They sure did, I say.

And so many grandchildren, he say. Wel . Twelve children,

al busy multiplying. Just the family enough to fil the church.

Yeah, I say. That's the truth.

How long you here for? he say.

Maybe a week, I say.

You know Harpo and Sofia baby girl real sick? he say.

Naw, I didn't, I say. I point to Henrietta in the crowd. There

she is over there, I say. She look just fine.

Yeah, she look fine, he say, but she got some kind of blood

disease. Blood sort of clot up in her veins every once in a

while,

make her sick as a dog. I don't think she gon make it, he

say.

Great goodness of life, I say.

Yeah, he say. It hard for Sofia. She stil have to try to prop

up that white gal she raise. Now her mama dead. Her

health not that

good either. Plus, Henrietta a hard row to hoe whether she

sick or wel .

Oh, she a little mess, I say. Then I think back to one of

Nettie's letters bout the sicknesses children have where

she at in Africa.

Seem like to me she mention something bout blood clots. I

try to remember what she

231 say African peoples do, but I can't. Talking to Mr. ???

such a surprise I can't think of nothing. Not even nothing

else to

say.

Mr. ??? stand waiting for me to say something, looking off

up to his house. Final y he say, Good evening, and walk

away.

Sofia say after I left, Mr. ??? live like a pig. Shut up hi the

house so much it stunk. Wouldn't let nobody in until final y

Harpo

force his way in. Clean the house, got food. Give his daddy

a bath. Mr. ??? too weak to fight back. Plus, too far gone to

care.

He couldn't sleep, she say. At night he thought he heard

bats outside the door. Other things rattling in the chimney.

But the worse

part was having to listen to his own heart. It did pretty wel

as long as there was daylight, but soon as night come, it

went

crazy. Beating so loud it shook the room. Sound like drums.

Harpo went up there plenty nights to steep with him, say

Sofia. Mr. ??? would be al cram up in a comer of the bed.

Eyes clamp

on different pieces of furniture, see if they move hi his

direction. You know how little he is, say Sofia. And how big

and stout

Harpo is. Wel , one night I walked up to tel Harpo

something?and the two of them was just laying there on the

bed fast asleep.

Harpo holding his daddy hi his arms.

After that, I start to feel again for Harpo, Sofia say. And

pretty soon us start work on our new house. She laugh. But

did I say

it been easy? If I did, God would make me cut my own

switch.

What make bun pul through? I ast

Oh, she say, Harpo made him send you the rest of your

sister's letters. Right after that he start to fan-prove. You

know meanness

kil , she say.

Amen

232

By now I expected to be home. Looking into your face and

saying Celie, is it real y you? I try to picture what the years

have brought

you in the way of weight and wrinkles?or how you fix your

hair. From a skinny, hard little something I've become quite

plump.

And some of my hair is gray!

But Samuel tel s me he loves me plump and graying.

Does this surprise you?

We were married last Fal in England where we tried to get

relief for the Olinka from the churches and the Missionary

Society.

As long as they could, the Olinka ignored the road and the

white builders who came. But eventual y they had to notice

them because

one of the first things the builders did was to tel the people

they must be moved elsewhere. The builders wanted the

vil age

site as headquarters for the rubber plantation. It is the only

spot for miles that has a steady supply of fresh water.

Protesting and driven, the Olinka, along with their

missionaries, were placed on a barren stretch of land that

has no water at

al for six months of the year.

233 During that time, they must buy water from the planters.

During the rainy season there is a river and they are trying

to dig

holes in the nearby rocks to make cisterns. So far they

col ect water in discarded oil drums, which the builders

brought.

But the most horrible thing to happen had to do with the

roofleaf, which, as I must have written you, the people

worship as a God

and which they use to cover their huts. Wel , on this barren

strip of ground the planters erected workers' barracks. One

for men

and one for women and children. But, because the Olinka

swore they would never live in a dwel ing not covered by

their God, Roofleaf,

the builders left these barracks uncovered. Then they

proceeded to plow under the Olinka vil age and everything

else for miles

around. Including every last stalk of roofleaf.

After nearly unbearable weeks in the hot sun, we were

awakened one morning by the sound of a large truck pul ing

into the compound.

It was loaded with sheets of corrugated tin.

Celie, we had to payfor the tin. Which exhausted what

meager savings the Olinka had, and nearly wiped out the

money Samuel and

I had managed to put by for the education of the children

once we return home. Which we have planned to do each

year since Corrine

died, only to find ourselves more and more involved in the

Olinka's problems. Nothing could be uglier than corrugated

tin, Celie.

And as they struggled to put up roofs of this cold, hard,

glittery, ugly metal the women raised a deafening ululation

of sorrow

that echoed off the cavern wal s for miles around. It was on

this day that the Olinka acknowledged at least temporary

defeat.

Though the Olinka no longer ask anything of us, beyond

teaching their children?because they can see

234 how powerless we and our Qod are?Samuel and I

decided we must do something about this latest outrage,

even as many of the people

to whom we felt close ran away to join the mbelesor forest

people, who live deep in the jungle, refusing to work for

whites or

be ruled by them.

So off we went, with the children, to England.

It was an incredible voyage, Celie, not only because we

had almost forgot about the rest of the world, and such

things as ships

and coal fires and streetlights and oatmeal, but because on

the ship with us was the white woman missionary whom

we'd heard about

years ago. She was now retired from missionary work and

going back to England to live. She was traveling with a little

African

boy whom she introduced as her grandchild!

Of course it was impossible to ignore the presence of an

aging white woman accompanied by a smal black child.

The ship was in

a tither. Each day she and the child walked about the deck

alone, groups of white people fal ing into silence as they

passed.

She is a jaunty, stringy, blue-eyed woman, with hair the

color of silver and dry grass. A short chin, and when she

speaks she seems

to be gargling.

I'm pushing on for sixty-five, she told us, when we found

ourselves sharing a table for dinner one night. Been in the

tropics most

of my life. But, she said, a big war. is coming. Bigger than

the one they were starting when I left. It'l go hard on

England,

but I expect we'l survive. I missed the other war, she said. I

mean to be present for this one.

Samuel and I had never real y thought about war.

Why, she said, the signs are al over Africa. India too, I

expect. First there's a road built to where you keep your

goods. Then

your trees are hauled off to make ships and captain's

furniture. Then your land is

235 planted with something you can't eat. Then you're

forced to work it. That's happening al over Africa, she said.

Burma too,

I expect.

But Harold here and I decided to get out. Didn't we Harry?

she said, giving the little boy a biscuit. The child said

nothing, just

chewed his biscuit thoughtful y. Adam and Olivia soon took

him off to explore the lifeboats.

Dons' story?the woman's name is Doris Baines?is an

interesting one. But I won't bore you with it as we eventual y

became bored.

She was born to great wealth in England. Her father was

Lord Somebody or Other. They were forever giving or

attending parties that

were no fun. Besides, she wanted to write books. Her

family was against it. Total y. They hoped she'd marry.

Me marry/ she hooted. (Real y, she has the oddest ideas.)

They did everything to convince me, she said. You can't

imagine. I never saw so many milkfed young men in al my

life as when I

was nineteen and twenty. Each one more boring than the

last. Can anything bemore boring than an upper-class

Englishman? she said.

They remind one of bloody mushrooms.

Wel , she rattled on, through endless dinners, because the

captain assigned us permanently to the same table. It

seems the notion

of becoming a missionary struck her one evening she was

getting ready for yet another tedious date, and lay in the tub

thinking

a convent would be better than the castle in which she lived.

She could think, she could write. She could be her own

boss. But

wait. As a nun she would not be her own boss. God would

be boss. The virgin mother. The mother superior. Etc.Etc.

Ah, but a missionary!

Far off in the wilds of India, alone! It,seemed like bliss.

236 And so she cultivated a pious interest in heathens.

Fooled her parents. Fooled the Missionary Society, who

were so taken with

Jier quick command of languages they sent her to Africa

(worst luck!) where she began writing novels about

everything under the

sun.

My pen name is Jared Hunt, she said. In England and even

in America, I'm a run-away success. Rich, famous. An

eccentric recluse

who spends most of his time shooting wild game.

Wel now, she continued, several evenings later, you don't

think I paid much attention to the heathen? I saw nothing

wrong with

them as they were. And they seemed to like mewel

enough. I was actual y able to help them a good deal. I was

a writer, after

al , and I wrote reams of paper in their behalf: about their

culture, their behavior, their needs, that sort of thing. You'd

be

surprised how good writing matters when you're going after

money. I learned to speak their language faultlessly, and to

throw

off the missionary snoopers back at headquarters I wrote

entire reports in it. I tapped the family vaults for close on to

a mil ion

pounds before I got anything from the missionary societies

or rich old family friends. I built a hospital, a grammar

school. A

col ege. A swimming pool?the one luxury I permitted myself,

since swimming in the river one is subject to attack by

leeches.

You wouldn't believe the peace! she said, at breakfast,

halfway to England. Within a year everything as far as me

and the heathen

were concerned ran like clockwork. I told them right off that

their souls were no concern of mine, that I wanted to write

books

and not be disturbed. For this pleasure I was prepared to

pay. Rather handsomely.

In a burst of appreciation one day, I'm afraid the chief?not

knowing what else to do, no doubt?

237 presented mewith a couple of wives. I don't think it was

commonly believed I was a woman. There seemed some

question in their

minds just what I was. Anyhow. I educated the two young

girls as best I could. Sent them to England, of course, to

learn medicine

and agriculture. Welcomed them home when they returned,

gave them away in marriage to two young chaps who were

always about the

place, and began the happiest period of my life as the

grandmother of their children. I must say, she beamed, I've

turned out

to be fab-o as a grandmama. Ilearned it from the Akweans.

They never spank their children. Never lock them away in

another part

of the hut. They do a bit of bloody cutting around puberty.

But Harry's mother the doctor is going to change al that.

Isn't she

Harold?

Anyway, she said. When I get to England I'l put a stop to

their bloody encroachments. I'l tel them what to do with

their bloody

road and their bloody rubber plantations and their bloody

sunburned but stil bloody boring English planters and

engineers. I

am a very wealthy woman, and I ownthe vil age of Akwee.

We listened to most of this in more or less respectful

silence. The children were very taken with young Harold,

though he never

said a word in our presence. He seemed fond of his

grandmother and used to her, but her verbosity produced in

him a kind of soberly

observant speechlessness.

He's quite different with us though, said Adam, who is real y

a great lover of children, and could get through to any child

given

half an hour. Adam makes jokes, he sings, he clowns and

knows games. And he has the sunniest smile, most of the

time?and great

healthy African teeth.

As I write about his sunny smile I realize he's been unusual y

glum during this trip. Interested and excited,

238 but not real y sunny,except when he's with young

Harold.

I wil have to ask Olivia what's wrong. She is thril ed at the

thought of going back to England. Her mother used to tel

her about

the thatched cottages of the English and how they

reminded her of the roofleaf huts of the Olinka. They are

square, though, she'd

say. More like our church and school than like our homes,

which Olivia thought very strange.

When we reached England, Samuel and I presented the

Olinka's grievances to the bishop of the English branch of

our church, a youngish

man wearing spectacles who sat thumbing through a stack

of Samuel's yearly reports. Instead of even mentioning the

Olinka the

bishop wanted to know how long it had been since

Corrine's death, and why, as soon as she died, I had not

returned to America.

I real y did not understand what he was driving at.

Appearances, Miss ??:?, he said. Appearances. What

must the natives think?

About what? I asked.

Come, come, he said.

We behave as brother and sister to each other, said

Samuel.

The bishop smirked. Yes, he did.

I felt my face go hot.

Wel , there was more of this, but why burden you with it?

You know what some people are, and the bishop was one

of them. Samuel

and I left without even a word about the Olinka's problems.

Samuel was so angry, I was frightened. He said the only

thing for us to do, if we wanted to remain in Africa, was join

the mbelesand

encourage al the Olinka to do the same.

But suppose they do not want to go? I asked. Many 238

239 of them are too old to move back into the forest. Many

are sick. The women have smal babies. And then there are

the youngsters

who want bicycles and British clothes. Mirrors and shiny

cooking pots. They want to work for the white people in

order to have

these things.

Things! he said, in disgust. Bloody things!

Wel , we have a month here anyway, I said, let's make the

most of it.

Because we had spent so much of our money on tin roofs

and the voyage over, it had to be a poor man's month in

England. But it

was a very good time for us. We began to feel ourselves a

family, without Corrine. And people meeting us on the

street never failed

(if they spoke to us at al ) to express the sentiment that the

children looked just like the two of us. The children began to

accept this as natural, and began going out to view the

sights that interested them, alone. Leaving their father and

me to our

quieter, more sedate pleasures, one of which was simple

conversation.

Samuel, of course, was born hi the North, in New York, and

grew up and was educated there. He met Corrine through

his aunt who

had been a missionary, along with Corrine's aunt, in the

Belgian Congo. Samuel frequently accompanied his aunt

Althea to Atlanta,

where Corrine's aunt Theodosia lived.

These two ladies had been through marvelous things

together, said Samuel, laughing. They'd been attacked by

lions, stampeded by

elephants, flooded out by rains, made war on by "natives,"

The tales they told were simply incredible. There they sat on

a heavily

antima-cassared horsehair sofa, two prim and proper

ladies in ruffles and lace, tel ing these stupendous stories

over tea.

Corrine and I as teenagers used to attempt to stylize these

tales into comics. We cal ed them such things as

240 THREE MONTHS IN A HAMMOCK, Or SORE HIPS

OF THE DARK CONTINENT. Or, A MAP OF AFRICA: A

GUIDE TO NATIVE INDIFFERENCE TO THE HOLY

WORD.

We made fun of them, but we were riveted on their

adventures, and on the ladies' tel ing of them. They were so

staid looking. So

proper. You real y couldn't imagine them actual y building?

with their own hands ? aschool in the bush. Or battling

reptiles. Or

unfriendly Africans who thought, since they were wearing

dresses with things that looked like wings behind, they

should be able

to fly.

Bush? Corrine would snicker to me or me to her. And just

the sound of the word would send us off into quiet hysteria,

while we

calmly sipped our tea. Because of course they didn't realize

they were being funny, and to us they were, very. And of

course the

prevailing popular view of Africans at that time contributed

to our feeling of amusement. Not only were Africans

savages, they

were bumbling, inept savages, rather like their bumbling,

inept brethren at home. But we careful y, not to say

studiously, avoided

this very apparent connection.

Corrine's mother was a dedicated housewife and mother

who disliked her more adventurous sister. But she never

prevented Corrine

from visiting. And when Corrine was old enough, she sent

her to Spelman Seminary where Aunt Theodosia had gone.

This was a very

interesting place. It was started by two white missionaries

from New England who used to wear identical dresses.

Started in a

church basement, it soon moved up to Army barracks.

Eventual y these two ladies were able to get large sums of

money from some

of the richest men in America, and so the place grew.

Buildings, trees. Girls were taught everything: Reading,

Writing, Arithmetic,

sewing, cleaning, cooking.

241 But more than anything else, they were taught to serve

God and the colored community. Their official motto

was OUR WHOLE SCHOOL FOR CHRIST. But I always

thought their unofficial motto should have been our

community covers the world, because no sooner had a

young woman got through

Spelman Seminary than she began to put her hand to

whatever work she could do for her people, anywhere in the

world. It was truly

astonishing. These very polite and proper young women,

some of them never having set foot outside their own smal

country towns,

except to come to the Seminary, thought nothing of packing

up for India, Africa, the Orient. Or for Philadelphia or New

York.

Sixty years or so before the founding of the school, the

Cherokee Indians who lived in Georgia were forced to

leave then- homes

and walk, through the snow, to resettlement camps in

Oklahoma. A third of them died on the way. But many of

them refused to leave

Georgia. They hid out as colored people and eventual y

blended with us. Many of these mixed-race people were at

Spelman. Some

remembered who they actual y were, but most did not. If

they thought about it at aU (and it became harder to think

about Indians

because there were none around) they thought they were

yel ow or reddish brown and wavy haired because of white

ancestors, not

Indian.

Even Corrine thought this, he said. And yet, I always felt her

Indianness. She was so quiet. So reflective. And she could

erase

herself, her spirit, with a swiftness that truly startled, when

she knew the people around her could not respect it.

It did not seem hard for Samuel to talk about Corrine while

we were in England. It wasn't hard for me to listen.

It al seems so improbable, he said. Here I am, an 241

242 aging man whose dreams of helping people have

been just that, dreams. How Corrine and I as children would

have laughed at ourselves.

twenty years a fool of the

WEST, OR MOUTH AND ROOFLEAF DISEASE: A

TREATISE ON

futility in the tropics, Etc. Etc. We failed so utterly, he said.

We became as comical as Althea and Theo-dosia. I think

her awareness

of this fueled Corrine's sickness. She was far more intuitive

than I. Her gift for understanding people much greater. She

used

to say the Olinka resented us, but I wouldn't see it. But they

do, you know.

No, I said, it isn't resentment, exactly. It real y is indifference.

Sometimes I feel our position is like that of flies on an

elephant's hide.

I remember once, before Corrine and I were married,

Samuel continued, Aunt Theodosia had one of her at-

homes. She had them every

Thursday. She'd invited a lot of "serious young people" as she cal ed them, and one of them was a young Harvard

scholar named

Edward. DuBoyce was his last name, I think. Anyhow, Aunt

Theodosia was going on about her African adventures,

leading up to the

time King Leopold of Belgium presented her with a medal.

Wel Edward, or perhaps his name was Bil , was a very

impatient sort.

You saw it in his eyes, you could see it in the way he moved

his body. He was never stil . As Aunt Theodosia got closer

to the

part about her surprise and joy over receiving this medal?

which validated her service as an exemplary missionary in

the King's

colony?DuBoyce's foot began to pat the floor rapidly and

uncontrol ably. Corrine and I looked at each other in alarm.

Clearly

this man had heard this tale before and was not prepared

to endure it a second time.

Madame, he said, when Aunt Theodosia finished her

243 story and flashed her famous medal around the room,

do you realize King Leopold cut the hands off workers who,

in the opinion

of his plantation overseers, did not fulfil their rubber quota?

Rather than cherish that medal, Madame, you should

regard it

as a symbol of your unwitting complicity with this despot

who worked to death and brutalized and eventual y

exterminated thousands

and thousands of African peoples.

Wel , said Samuel, silence struck the gathering like a blight.

Poor Aunt Theodosia! There's something in al of us that

wants a

medal for what we have done. That wants to be

appreciated. And Africans certainly don't deal in medals.

They hardly seem to care

whether missionaries exist.

Don't be bitter, I said.

How can I not? he said.

The Africans never asked us to come, you know. There's no

use blaming them if we feel unwelcome.

It's worse than unwelcome, said Samuel. The Africans don't

even seeus. They don't even recognize us as the brothers

and sisters

they sold.

Oh, Samuel, I said. Don't.

But you know, he had started to cry. Oh Nettie, he said.

That's the heart of it, don't you see. We love them. We try

every way

we can to show that love. But they reject us. They never

even listen to how we've suffered. And if they listen they say

stupid

things. Why don't you speak our language? they ask. Why

can't you remember the old ways? Why aren't you happy in

America, if everyone

there drives motorcars?

Celie, it seemed as good a time as any to put my arms

around him. Which I did. And words long buried in my heart

crept to my lips.

I stroked his dear head and face and I cal ed him darling

and dear. And I'm afraid, dear,

244 dear Celie, that concern and passion soon ran away

with us.

I hope when you receive this news of your sister's forward

behavior you wil not be shocked or inclined to judge me

harshly. Especial y

when I tel you what a total joy it was. I was transported by

ecstasy in Samuel's arms.

You may have guessed that I loved him al along; but I did

not know it. Oh, I loved him as a brother and respected him

as a friend,

but Celie, I love him bodily, as a man! Ilove his walk, his

size, his shape, his smel , the kinkiness of his hah-. I love

the

very texture of his palms. The pink of his inner lip. I love his

big nose. I love his brows. I love his feet. And I love his dear

eyes in which the vulnerability and beauty of his soul can be

plainly read.

The children saw the change hi us immediately. I'm afraid,

my dear, we were radiant.

We love each other dearly, Samuel told them, with his arm

around me. We intend to marry.

But before we do, I said, I must tel you something about my

life and about Corrine and about someone else. And it was

then I told

them about you, Celie. And about their mother Corrine's

love of them. And about being their aunt.

But where is this other woman, your sister? asked Olivia.

I explained your marriage to Mr! ??? as best I could.

Adam was instantly alarmed. He is a very sensitive soul

who hears what isn't said as clearly as what is.

We wil go back to America soon, said Samuel to reassure

him, and see about her.

The children stood up with us in a simple church ceremony

in London. And it was that night, after the

245 wedding dinner, when we were al getting ready for

bed, that Olivia told me what has been troubling her brother.

He is missing

Tashi.

But he's also very angry with her, she said, because when

we left, she was planning to scar her face.

I didn't know this. One of the things we thought we'd helped

stop was the scarring or cutting of tribal marks on the faces

of young

women.

It is a way the Olinka can show they stil have their own

ways, said Olivia, even though the white man has taken

everything else.

lashi didn't want to do it, but to make her people feel better,

she's resigned. She's going to have the female initiation

ceremony

too, she said.

Oh, no, I said. That's so dangerous. Suppose she becomes

infected?

I know, said Olivia. I told her nobody in America or Europe

cuts off pieces of themselves. And anyway, she would have

had it when

she was eleven, if she was going to have it. She's too old

for it now.

Wel , some men are circumcised, I said, but that's just the

removal of a bit of skin.

lashi was happy that the initiation ceremony isn't done in

Europe or America, said Olivia. That makes it even more

valuable to

her.

I see, I said.

She and Adam had an awful fight. Not like any they've had

before. He wasn't teasing her or chasing her around the

vil age or trying

to tie roofleaf twigs in her hair. He was mad enough to

strike her.

Wel , it's a good thing he didn't, I said. Tashi would have

jammed his head through her rug loom.

I'l be glad when we get back home, said Olivia. Adam isn't

the only one who misses Tashi.

She kissed me and her father good night. Adam soon

came in to do the same.

246 Mama Nettie, he said, sitting on the bed next to me,

how do you know when you real y love someone?

Sometimes you don't know, I said.

He is a beautiful young man, Celie. Tal and broad-

shouldered, with a deep, thoughtful voice. Did I tel you he

writes verses?

And loves to sing? He's a son to make you proud.

Your loving sister,

Nettie P.S. Your brother Samuel sends his love as wel .

247

When we returned home everyone seemed happy to see

us. When we told them our appeal to the church and the

Missionary Society fel ed,

they were disappointed. They literal y wiped the smiles off

their races along with the sweat, and returned, dejected, to

then*

barracks. We went on to our building, a combination,

church, house and school, and began to unpack our things.

The children ... I realize I shouldn't cal them children, they're

grown, went in search of Tashi; an hour later they returned

dumbfounded. They discovered no sign of her. Catherine,

her mother, is planting rubber trees some distance from the

compound,

they were told. But no one had seen Tashi al day.

Olivia was very disappointed. Adam was trying to appear

unconcerned, but I noticed he was absentmind-edly biting

the skin around

his nails.

After two days it became clear that Tashi was deliberately

biding. Her friends said while we were away she'd

undergone both the

facial scarification ceremony and the rite of female

initiation. Adam went quite gray at

248 this news. Olivia merely stricken and more concerned

than ever to find her.

It was not until Sunday that we saw Tashi. She'd lost a

considerable amount of weight, and seemed listless, dul -

eyed and tired.

Her face was stil swol en from half a dozen smal , neat

incisions high on each cheek. When she put out her hand to

Adam he refused

to take it. He just looked at her scars, turned on his heel

and left.

She and Olivia hugged. But it was a quiet, heavy embrace.

Nothing like the boisterous, giggling behavior I expect from

them.

Tashi is, unfortunately, ashamed of these scars on her face,

and now hardly ever raises her head. They must be painful

too because

they look irritated and red.

But this is what the vil agers are doing to the young women

and even the men. Carving their identification as a people

into their

children's faces. But the children think of scarification as

backward, something from their grandparents' generation,

and often

resist. So the carving is done by force, under the most

appal ing conditions. We provide antiseptics and cotton

and a place for

the children to cry and nurse their wounds.

Each day Adam presses us to leave for home. He can no

longer bear living as we do. There aren't even any trees

near us, just giant

boulders and smal er rocks. And more and more of his

companions are running away. The real reason, of course,

is he can no longer

bear his conflicting feelings about Tashi, who is beginning, I

think, to appreciate the magnitude of her mistake.

Samuel and I are truly happy, Celie. And so grateful to God

that we are! We stil keep a school for the littlest children;

those

eight and over are already workers in the fields. In order to

pay rent for the barracks, taxes on the land, and to buy

water and

wood and food,

249 everyone must work. So, we teach the young ones,

babysit the babies, look after the old and sick, and attend

birthing mothers.

Our days are ful er than ever, our sojourn in England already

a dream. But al things look brighter because I have a loving

soul

to share them with.

Your sister,

Nettie

250

The man us knowed as Pa is dead.

How come you stil cal him Pa? Shug ast me the other day.

But, too late to cal him Alphonso. I never even remember

Ma cal ing him by his name. She always said, Your Pa. I

reckon to make

us believe it better. Anyhow, his little wife, Daisy, cal me up

on the telephone in the middle of the night.

Miss Celie, she say, I got bad news. Alphonso dead.

Who? I ast.

Alphonso, she say. Your stepdaddy.

How he die? I ast. I think of kil ing, being hit by a truck,

struck by lightening, lingering disease. But she say, Naw,

he died

in his sleep. Wel , not quite in his sleep, she say. Us was

spending a little time in bed together, you know, before us

drop off.

Wel , I say, you have my sympathy.

Yes ma'am, she say, and I thought I had this house 250

251 too, but look like it belong to your sister Nettie and you.

Say what? I ast.

Your stepdaddy been dead over a week, she say. When us

went to town to hear the wil read yesterday, you could have

knock me over

with a feather. Your real daddy owned the land and the

house and the store. He left it to your mama. When your

mama died, it passed

on to you and your sister Nettie. I don't know why Alphonso

never told you that.

Wel , I say, anything coming from him, I don't want it.

I hear Daisy suck in her breath. How about your sister

Nettie, she say. You think she feel the same way?

I wake up a little bit then. By the time Shug rol over and ast

me who it is, I'm beginning to see the light.

Don't be a fool, Shug say, nudging me with her foot. You got

your own house now. Your daddy and mama left it for you.

That dog

of a stepdaddy just a bad odor passing through.

But I never had no house, I say. Just to think about having

my own house enough to scare me. Plus, this house I'm

gitting is bigger

than Shug's, got more land around it. And, it come with a

store.

My God, I say to Shug. Me and Nettie own a drygood store.

What us gon sel ?

How bout pants? she say.

So us bung up the phone and rush down home again to

look at the property.

About a mile before us got to town us come up on the

entrance to the colored cemetery. Shug was sound asleep,

but something told

me I ought to drive in. Pretty soon I see something look like

a short skyscraper and I stop the car and go up to it. Sure

enough

it's got

252 Alphonso's name on it. Got a lot of other stuff on it too.

Member of this and that. Leading businessman and fanner.

Upright

husband and father. Kind to the poor and helpless. He been

dead two weeks but fresh flowers stil blooming on his

grave.

Shug git out the car and come stand by me.

Final y she yawn loud and stretch herself. The son of a bitch

stil dead, she say.

Daisy try to act like she glad to see us, but she not: She got

two children and look pregnant with one more. But she got

nice clothes,

a- car, and Alphonso left her al his money. Plus, I think she

manage to set her folks up while she live with him.

She say, Celie, the old house you remember was torn down

so Alphonso could build this one. He got an Atlanta

architect to design

it, and these tiles come al the way from New York. We was

standing in the kitchen at the time. But he put tiles

everywhere. Kitchen,

toilet, back porch. Al around the fireplaces in back and

front parlour. But this the house go with the place, right on,

she say.

Of course I did take the furniture, because Alphonso bought

it special for me.

Fine with me, I say. I can't get over having a house. Soon as

Daisy leave me with the keys I run from one room to

another like

I'm crazy. Look at this, I say to Shug. Look at that! She look,

she grin. She hug me whenever she git the chance and I

stand stil .

You doin' al right, Miss Celie, she say. God know where

you live.

Then she took some cedar sticks out of her bag and lit

them and gave one of them to me. Us started at the very

top of the house

in the attic, and us smoked it al

253 the way down to the basement, chasing out al the evil

and making a place for good.

Oh, Nettie, us have a house! A house big enough for us and

our children, for your husband and Shug. Now you can

come home cause

you have a home to come to!

Your loving sister,

Celie

254

My heart broke.

Shug love somebody else.

Maybe if I had stayed in Memphis last summer it never

would have happen. But I spent the summer fixing up the

house. I thought

if you come anytime soon, I want it to be ready. And it is

real pretty, now, and comfortable. And I found me a nice

lady to live

in it and look after it. Then I come home to Shug.

Miss Celie, she say, how would you like some Chinese

food to celebrate your coming home?

I loves Chinese food. So off us go to the restaurant. I'm so

excited about being home again I dont even notice how

nervous Shug

is. She a big graceful woman most of the time, even when

she mad. But I notice she can't git her chopsticks to work

right. She

knock over her glass of water. Somehow or nother her

eggrol come unravel.

But I think she just so glad to see me. So I preen and pose

for her and stuff myself with wonton soup and fried rice.

Final y the fortune cookies come. I love fortune 254

255 cookies. They so cute. And I read my fortune right

away. It say, because you are who you are, the future look

happy and bright.

I laugh. Pass it on to Shug. She look at it and smile. I feel at

peace with the world.

Shug pul her slip of paper out real slow, like she scared of

what might be on it.

Wel ? I say, watching her read it. What it say?

She look down at it, look up at me. Say, It say I got the hots

for a boy of nineteen.

Let me see, I say, laughing. And I read it out loud. A burnt

finger remember the fire, it say.

I'm trying to tel you, Shug say.

Trying to tel me what? I'm so dense it stil don't penetrate,

For one thing, it been a long time since I thought about boys

and

I ain't never thought about men.

Last year, say Shug, I hired a new man to work in the band.

I almost didn't because he cant play nothing but flute. And

who ever

heard of blues flute? I hadn't. The very notion sound crazy.

But it was just my luck that blues flute is the one thing blues

music

been lacking and the minute I heard Germaine play I knew

this for a fact.

Germaine? I ast.

Yeah, she say, Germaine. I don't know who gave him that

flittish name, but it suit him.

Then she start right in to rave about this boy. Like al his

good points have to be stuff I'm dying to hear.

Oh, she say. He little. He cute. Got nice buns. You know,

real bantu. She so used to tel ing me everything she rattle

on and on,

gitting more excited and in-love looking by the minute. By

the time she finish talking about his neat little dancing feet

and

git back up to his honey brown curly hair, I feel like shit.

Hold it, I say. Shug, you kil ing me. 255

256 She halt in mid-praise. Her eyes fil with tears and her

face crumple. Oh God, Celie, she say. I'm sorry. I just been

dying

to tel somebody, and you the somebody I usual y tel .

Wel , I say, if words could kil , I'd be in the ambulance.

She put her face in her hands and start to cry. Celie, she

say, through her fingers, I stil love you.

But I just sit there and watch her. Seem like al my wonton

soup turn to ice.

Why you so upset? she ast, when us got back home. You

never seem to git upset bout Grady. And he was my

husband.

Grady never bring no sparkle to your eye, I think. But I don't

say nothing, I'm too far away.

Course, she say, Grady so dul , Jesus. And when you finish

talking bout women and reefer you finish Grady. But stil ,

she say.

I don't say nothing.

She try to laugh. I was so glad he lit out after Mary Agnes I

didn't know what to do, she say. I don't know who tried to

teach

him what to do in the bedroom, but it must have been a

furniture salesman.

I don't say nothing. Stil ness, coolness. Nothingness.

Coming fast.

You notice when they left here together going to Panama I

didn't shed a tear? But now real y, she say, what they gon

look like

in Panama?

Poor Mary Agnes, I think. How could anybody guess old dul

Grady would end up running a reefer plantation in Panama?

Course they making boocoos of money, say Shug. And

Mary Agnes outdress everybody down there, the way she

tel it in her letters.

And at least Grady let her sing. What little snatches of her

songs she can stil

257 remember. But real y, she say, Panama? Where is it

at, anyhow? Is it down there round Cuba? Us ought to go to

Cuba, Miss Celie,

you know? Lots of gambling there and good times. A lots of

colored folks look like Mary Agnes. Some real black, like

us. Al in

the same family though. Try to pass for white, somebody

mention your

I don't say nothing. I pray to die, just so I don't never have to

speak.

Al right, say Shug. It started when you was down home. I

missed you, Celie. And you know I'm a high natured

woman.

I went and got a piece of paper that I was using for cutting

patterns. I wrote her a note. It said, Shut up.

But Celie, she say. I have to make you understand. Look,

she say. I'm gitting old. I'm fat. Nobody think I'm good

looking no more,

but you. Or so I thought. He's nineteen. A baby. How long

can it last?

He's a man. I write on the paper.

Yeah, she say. He is. And I know how you feel about men.

But I don't feel that way. I would never be fool enough to

take any of

them seriously, she say, but some mens can be a lots of

fun.

Spare me, I write.

Celie, she say. Al I ast is six months. Just six months to

have my last fling. I got to have it Celie. I'm too weak a

woman not

to. But if you just give me six months, Celie, I wil try to make

our hie together like it

Not hardly. I write.

Celie, she say, Do you love me? She down on her knees by

now, tears fal ing al over the place. My heart hurt so much I

can't believe

it. How can it keep beating, feeling like this? But I'm a

woman. I love you, I say. Whatever happen, whatever you

do, I love you.

258 She whimper a little, lean her head against my chair.

Thank you, she say.

But I can't stay here, I say.

But Celie, she say, how can you leave me? You're my

friend. I love this child and I'm scared to death. He's a third

of my age.

A third of my size. Even a third of my color. She try to laugh

again. You know he gon hurt me worse than I'm hurting you.

Don't

leave me, please.

Just then the door bel ring. Shug wiped her face and went

to answer it, saw who it was and kept on out the door. Soon

I heard

a car drive off. I went on up to bed. But sleep remain a

stranger to this night. Pray for me,

Your sister, Celie

259

The only thing keep me alive is watching Henrietta fight for

her life. And boy can she fight. Every time she have an

attack she

scream enough to wake the dead. Us do what you say the

peoples do in Africa. Us feed her yams every single day.

Just our luck

she hate yams and she not too polite to let us know.

Everybody for miles around try to come up with yam dishes

that don't taste

like yams. Us git plates of yam eggs, yam chitlins, yam

goat. And soup. My God, folks be making soup out of

everything but shoe

leather trying to kil off the yam taste. But Henrietta claim

she stil taste it, and is likely to throw whatever it is out the

window. Us tel her in a little while she'l have three months

not to eat yams, but she say that day don't seem like it ever

want

to come. Meanwhile, her joints al swole, she hot enough to

burn, she say her head feel like its ful of little white men with

hammers.

Sometime I meet up with Mr. ??? visiting Henrietta. He

dream up his own little sneaky recipes. For instance, one

time he hid the

yams in peanut butter. Us sit by the fire with Harpo and

Sofia and play

260 a hand or two of bid whist, while Suzie Q and Henrietta

listen to the radio. Sometime he drive me home in his car.

He stil

live in the same little house. He been there so long, it look

just like him. Two straight chairs always on the porch,

turned against

the wal . Porch railings with flower cans on them. He keep it

painted now though. Fresh and white. And guess what he

col ect just

cause he like them? He col ect shel s. Al kinds of shel s.

Tarrapin, snail and al kinds of shel s from the sea.

Matter of fact, that's how he got me up to the house again.

He was tel ing Sofia bout some new shel he had that made

a loud sea

sound when you put it to your ear. Us went up to see it. It

was big and heavy and speckled like a chicken and sure

enough, seem

like you could hear the waves or something crashing

against your ear. None of us ever seen the ocean, but Mr.

??? learn about

it from books. He order shel s from books too, and they al

over the place.

He don't say that much about them while you looking, but he

hold each one like it just arrive.

Shug one time had a seashel , he say. Long time ago,

when us first met. Big white thing look like a fan. She stil

love shel s?

he ast.

Naw, I say. She love elephants now.

He wait a little while, put al the shel s back in place. Then

he ast me, You like any special thing?

I love birds, I say.

You know, he say, you use to remind me of a bird. Way

back when you first come to live with me. You was so

skinny, Lord, he say.

And the least little thing happen, you looked about to fly

away.

You saw that, I say.

I saw it, he said, just too big a fool to let myself care.

Wel , I say, us lived through it. 260

261 We stil man and wife, you know, he say.

Naw, I say, we never was.

You know, he say, you look real good since you been up in

Memphis.

Yeah, I say, Shug take good care of me.

How you make your living up there? he say.

Making pants, I say.

He say, I notice everybody in the family just about wearing

pants you made. But you mean you turned it into a

business?

That's right, I say. But I real y started it right here in your

house to keep from kil ing you.

He look down at the floor.

Shug help me make the first pair I ever did, I say. And then,

like a fool, I start to cry.

He say, Celie, tel me the truth. You don't like me cause I'm

a man?

I blow my nose. Take off they pants, I say, and men look like

frogs to me. No matter how you kiss 'em, as far as I'm

concern, frogs

is what they stay.

I see, he say.

By the time I got back home I was feeling so bad I couldn't

do nothing but sleep. I tried to work on some new pants I'm

trying

to make for pregnant women, but just the thought of

anybody girting pregnant make me want to cry.

Your sister,

Celie

262

The only piece of mail Mr. ??? ever put directly in my hand

is a telegram that come from the United States Department

of Defense.

It say the ship you and the children and your husband left

Africa in was sunk by German mines off the coast of

someplace cal ed

Gi-bralta. They think you al drowned. Plus, the same day,

al the letters I wrote to you over the years come back

unopen.

I sit here in this big house by myself trying to sew, but what

good is sewing gon do? What good is anything? Being

alive begin

to seem like a awful strain.

Your sister,

Celie

263

Tashi and her mother have run away. They have gone to

join the mbeles.Samuel and the children and I were

discussing it just yesterday,

and we realized we do not even know for sure the

mbelesexist. Al we know is that they are said to live deep

in the forest, that

they welcome runaways, and that they harass the white,

man's plantations and plan his destruction?or at least for

his removal

from their continent.

Adam and Olivia are heartbroken because they love Tashi

and miss her, and because no one who has gone to join the

mbelesever returned.

We try to keep them busy around the compound and

because there is so much sickness from malaria this

season there is plenty for

them to do. In plowing under the Olinka's yam crop and

substituting canned and powdered goods, the planters

destroyed what makes

them resistant to malaria. Of course they did not know this,

they only wanted to take the land for rubber, but the Olinka

have

been eating yams to prevent malaria and to control chronic

blood disease for thousands and thousands of years. Left

without a

sufficient supply of yams, the people?

264 what's left of them?are sickening and dying at an

alarming rate.

To tel you the truth, I fear for our own health, and especial y

for the children. But Samuel feels we wil probably be al

right,

having had bouts with malaria during the first years we

were here.

And how are you, dearest sister? Nearly thirty years have

passed without a word between us. For al I know you may

be dead. As

the time nears for us to come home, Adam and Olivia ask

endless questions about you, few of which I can answer.

Sometimes I tel

them Tashi reminds me of you. And, because there is no

one finer to them than lashi, they glow with delight. But wil

you stil

have Tashi's honest and open spirit, I wonder, when we see

you again? Or wil years of childbearing and abuse from Mr.

??? have

destroyed it? These are thoughts I don't pursue with the

children, only with my beloved companion, Samuel, who

advises me not

to worry, to trust in God, and to have faith in the sturdiness

of my sister's soul.

God is different to us now, after al these years in Africa.

More spirit than ever before, and more internal. Most

people think

he has to look like something or someone?a roofleaf or

Christ?but we don't. And not being tied to what God looks

like, frees us.

When we return to America we must have long talks about

this, Celie. And perhaps Samuel and I wil found a new

church in our community

that has no idols in it whatsoever, in which each person's

spirit is encouraged to seek God directly, his belief that this

is

possible strengthened by us ais people who also believe.

There is little to do here for entertainment, as you can

imagine. We read the papers and magazines from home,

play any number of

African games with the children. Rehearse the African

children in parts of

265 Shakespeare's plays?Adam was always very good as

Hamlet giving his To Be or Not to Be soliloquy. Corrine had

firm notions of

what the children should be taught and saw to it that every

good work advertised in the papers became part of their

library. They

know many things, and I think wil not find American society

such a shock, except for the hatred of black people, which

is also

very clear in al the news. But I worry about then* very

African independence of opinion and outspokenness, also

extreme self-centeredness.

And we wil be poor, Celie, and it wil be years no doubt

before we even own a home. How wil they manage the

hostility towards

them, having grown up here? When I think of them hi

America I see them as much younger than they appear

here. Much more naive.

The worst we have had to endure here is indifference and a

certain understandable shal owness in our personal

relationships?excluding

our relationship with Catherine and Tashi. After al , the

Olinka know we can leave, they must stay. And, of course,

none of this

has to do with color. And?

Dearest Celie,

Last night I stopped writing because Olivia came in to tel

me Adam is missing. He can only have gone after Tashi.

Pray for his safety,

Your sister, Nettie

266

Sometimes I think Shug never love me. I stand looking at

my naked self in the looking glass. What would she love? I

ast myself.

My hair is short and kinky because I don't straighten it

anymore. Once Shug say .she love it no need to. My skin

dark. My nose

just a nose. My lips just lips. My body just any woman's

body going through the changes of age. Nothing special

here for nobody

to love. No honey colored curly hair, no cuteness. Nothing

young and fresh. My heart must be young and fresh though,

it feel like

it blooming blood.

I talk to myself a lot, standing in front the mirror. Celie, I say,

happiness was just a trick in your case. Just cause you

never

had any before Shug, you thought it was time to have some,

and that it was gon last. Even thought you had the trees with

you.

The whole earth. The stars. But look at you. When Shug left,

happiness desert.

Every once in a while I git a postcard from Shug. Her and

Germaine hi New York, hi California. Gone to see Mary

Agnes and Grady

in Panama.

267 Mr. ??? seem to be the only one understand my

feeling.

I know you hate me for keeping you from Nettie, he say.

And now she dead.

But I don't hate him, Nettie. And I don't believe you dead.

How can you be dead if I stil feel you? Maybe, like God,

you changed

into something different that I'l have to speak to in a

different way, but you not dead to me Nettie. And never wil

be. Sometime

when I git tired of talking to myself I talk to you. I even try to

reach our children.

Mr. ??? stil can't believe I have children. Where you git

children from? he ast.

My stepdaddy, I say.

You mean he knowed he was the one damage you al

along? he ast.

-I say, Yeah.

Mr. ??? shake his head.

After al the evil he done I know you wonder why I don't hate

him. I don't hate him for two reasons. One, he love Shug.

And two,

Shug use to love him. Plus, look like he trying to make

something out of himself. I don't mean just that he work and

he clean

up after himself and he appreciate some of the things God

was playful enough to make. I mean when you talk to him

now he real y

listen, and one time, out of nowhere in the conversation us

was having, he said Celie, I'm satisfied this the first time I

ever

lived on Earth as a natural man. It feel like a new

experience.

Sofia and Harpo always try to set me up with some man.

They know I love Shug but they think womens love just by

accident, anybody

handy likely to do. Everytime I go to Harpo's some little

policy salesman git al up in my face. Mr. ??? have to come

to the

268 rescue. He tel the man, This lady my wife. The man

vanish out the door.

Us sit, have a cold drink. Talk about our days together with

Shug. Talk about the time she come home sick. The little

crooked song

she use to sing. Al our fine evenings down at Harpo's.

You was even sewing good way back then, he say. I

remember the nice little dresses Shug always wear.

Yeah, I say. Shug could wear a dress.

Remember the night Sofia knock Mary Agnes' toofs out?

he ast.

Who could forgit it? I say.

Us don't say nothing bout Sofia's troubles. Us stil can't

laugh at that. Plus, Sofia stil have trouble with that family.

Wel ,

trouble with Miss Eleanor Jane.

You just don't know, say Sofia, what that girl done put me

through. You know how she use to bother me al the time

when she had

problems at home? Wel final y she start bothering me when

anything good happen. Soon as she snag that man she

married she come

running to me. Oh, Sofia, she say, you just have to meet

Stanley Earl. And before I can say anything, Stanley Earl is

in the middle

of my front room.

How you, Sofia, he say, grinning and sticking out his hand.

Miss Eleanor Jane done told me so much about you.

I wonder if she told him they made me sleep up under their

house, say Sofia. But I don't ask. I try to be polite, act

pleasant.

Henrietta turn the radio up loud in the back room. I have to

almost hol er to make myself understood. They stand round

looking

at the children's pictures on the wal and saying how good

my boys look in they army uniforms.

Where they fighting? Stanley Earl want to know, 268

269 They in the service right here in Georgia, I say. But

pretty soon they be bound for overseas.

He ast me do I know which part they be station in? France,

Germany or the Pacific.

I don't know where none of that is so I say, Naw. He say he

want to fight but got to stay home and run his daddy's cotton

gin.

Army got to wear clothes, he say, if they fighting in Europe.

Too bad they not fighting hi Africa. He laugh. Miss Eleanor

Jane

smile. Henrietta turn the dial as high as it can go. Got on

some real sorry whitefolks music sound tike I don't know

what. Stanley

Earl snap his fingers and try to tap one of his good size

foots. He got a long head go straight up and hair cut so

short it look

fuzzy. His eyes real bright blue and never hardly blink. Good

God, I think.

Sofia raise me, practical y, say Miss Eleanor Jane. Don't

know what we would have done without her.

Wel , say Stanley Earl, everybody round here raise by

colored. That's how come we turn out so wel . He wink at

me, say, Wel Sugar

Pie, to Miss Eleanor Jane, time for us to mosey along.

She leap up tike somebody stuck her with a pin. How

Henrietta doing? she ast. Then she whisper, I brought her

something with yams

so wel hid she won't never suspect. She run out to the car

and come back with a tuna casserole.

Wel , say Sofia, one thing you have to say for Miss Eleanor

Jane, her dishes almost always fool Henrietta. And that

mean a lots

to me, Of course I never tel Henrietta where they come

from: If I did, out the window they would go. Else she'd

vomit, tike it

made her sick.

But final y, the end come to Sofia and Miss Eleanor 269

270 Jane, I think. And it wasn't nothing to do with Henrietta,

who hate Miss Eleanor Jane's guts. It was Miss Eleanor

Jane herself

and that baby she went and had. Every time Sofia turned

round Miss Eleanor Jane was shoving Reynolds Stanley

Earl in her face.

He a little fat white something without much hair, look like

he headed for the Navy.

Ain't little Reynolds sweet? say Miss Eleanor Jane, to

Sofia. Daddy just love him, she say. Love having a

grandchild name for him

and look so much like him, too.

Sofia don't say nothing, stand there ironing some of Susie

Q and Henrietta's clothes.

And so smart, say Eleanor Jane. Daddy say he never saw

a smarter baby. Stanley Earl's mama say he smarter than

Stanley Earl was

when he was this age.

Sofia stil don't say nothing.

Final y Eleanor Jane notice. And you know how some

whitefolks is, won't let wel enough alone. If they want to bad

enough, they

gon harass a blessing from you if it kil .

Sofia mighty quiet this morning, Miss Eleanor Jane say,

like she just talking to Reynolds Stanley. He stare back at

her out of

his big stuck open eyes.

Don't you think he sweet? she ast again.

He sure fat, say Sofia, turning over the dress she ironing.

And he sweet, too, say Miss Eleanor Jane.

Just as plump as he can be, say Sofia. And tal , ,

But he sweet, too, say Eleanor Jane. And he smart. She

haul off and kiss him up side the head. He rub his head, say

Yee.

Ain't he the smartest baby you ever saw? she ast Sofia.

271 He got a nice size head on him, say Sofia. You know

some peoples place a lot of weight on head size. Not a

whole lot of hair

on it either. He gon be cool this summer, for sure. She fold

the piece she iron and put it on a chair.

Just a sweet, smart, cute, innocentlittle baby boy, say Miss

Eleanor Jane. Don't you just love him? she ast Sofia point

blank.

Sofia sigh. Put down her iron. Stare at Miss Eleanor Jane

and Reynolds Stanley. Al the time me and Henrietta over in

the comer

playing pitty pat. Henrietta act like Miss Eleanor Jane ain't

alive, but both of us hear the way the iron sound when Sofia

put

it down. The sound have a lot of old and new stuff in it.

No ma'am, say Sofia. I do not love Reynolds Stanley Earl.

Now. That's what you been trying to find out ever since he

was born.

And now you know.

Me and Henrietta look up. Miss Eleanor Jane just that quick

done put Reynolds Stanley on the floor where he crawling

round knocking

stuff over. Head straight for Sofia's stack of ironed clothes

and pul it down on his head. Sofia take up the clothes,

straighten

them out, stand by the ironing board with her hand on .the

iron. Sofia the kind of woman no matter what she have in

her hand it

look like a weapon.

Eleanor Jane start to cry. She always have felt something

for Sofia. If not for her, Sofia never would have survive living

in her

daddy's house. But so what? Sofia never wanted to be

there in the first place. Never wanted to leave her own

children.

Too late to cry, Miss Eleanor Jane, say Sofia. Al us can do

now is laugh. Look at him, she say. And she do laugh. He

can't even

walk and already he in my bouse messing it up. Did I ast

him to come? Do I care whether

272 he sweet or not? Wil it make any difference in the way

he grow up to treat me what I think?

You just don't like him cause he look like daddy, say Miss

Eleanor Jane.

Youdon't like him cause he look like daddy, say Sofia. I

don't feel nothing about him at al . I don't love nun, I don't

hate him.

I just wish he couldn't run loose al the time messing up folks

stuff.

Al the time! Al the time! say Miss Eleanor Jane. Sofia, he

just a baby. Not even a year old. He only been here five or

six times.

I feel like he been here forever, say Sofia.

I just don't understand, say Miss Eleanor Jane. Al the other

colored women I know love children. The way you feel is

something

unnatural.

I love children, say Sofia. But al the colored women that say

they love yours is lying. They don't love Reynolds Stanley

any more

than I do. But if you so badly raise as to ast 'em, what you

expect them to say? Some colored people so scared of

whitefolks they

claim to love the cotton gin.

But he just a little baby! say Miss EIean9r Jane, like saying

this is spose to clear up everything.

What you want from me? say Sofia, I feel something for you

because out of al the people in your daddy's house you

showed me some

human kindness. But on the other hand, out of al the people

in your daddy's house, I showed you some. Kind feeling is

al I have

to offer you. I don't have nothing to offer your relatives but

just what they offer me. I don't have nothing to offer him.

Reynolds Stanley by this time is over on Henrietta pal et

look like trying to rape her foot. Final y he start to chew her

teg and

Henrietta reach up on the window-sil and hand him a

cracker.

273 I feel like you the only person love me, say Miss

Eleanor Jane. Mama only love Junior, she say. Cause that's

who daddy real y

love.

Wel , say Sofia. You got your own husband to love you now.

Look like he don't love nothing but that cotton gin, she say.

Ten o'clock at night and he stil down there working. When

he not

working, he playing poker with the boys. My brother see a

lot more of Stanley Earl than I do.

Maybe you ought to leave him, say Sofia. You got kin ia

Atlanta, go stay with some of them. Git a job.

Miss Eleanor Jane toss her hair back, act like she don't

even hear this, it such a wild notion.

I got my own troubles, say Sofia, and when Reynolds

Stanley grow up, he's gon be one of them.

But he won't, say Miss Eleanor Jane. I'm his mama and I

won't let him be mean to colored.

You and whose army? say Sofia. The first word he likely to

speak won't be nothing he learn from you.

You tel ing me I won't even be able to love my own son, say

Miss Eleanor Jane.

No, say Sofia. That's not what I'm tel ing you. I'm tel ing you /

won't be able to love your own son. You can love him just as

much as you want to. But be ready to suffer the

consequences. That's how the colored live.

Little Reynolds Stanley al up on top Henrietta's face by

now, just slobbering and sucking. Trying to kiss. Any

second I think

she gon knock him sil y. But she lay real stil while he

zamine her. Every once in a while he act like he peeking

into her eyebal .

Then he sit down with a bounce on top her chest and grin.

He take one of her playing cards and try to give her a bite

of it.

Sofia come over and lift him off. 273

274 He not bothering me, say Henrietta. He make me

tickle.

He bother me, say Sofia.

Wel , Miss Eleanor Jane say to the baby, picking him up,

we not wanted here. She say it real sad, like she done run

out of places

to go.

Thank you for al you done for us, say Sofia. She don't look

so good herself, and a little water stand in her eyes. After

Miss

Eleanor Jane and Reynolds Stanley leave, she say, It's

times like this make me know us didn't make this world.

And al the colored

folks talking bout loving everybody just ain't looked hard at

what they thought they said.

So what else new?

Wel , your sister too crazy to kil herself. Most times I feels

tike shit but I felt tike shit before in my life and what

happen?

I had me a fine sister name Nettie. I had me another fine

woman friend name Snug. I had me some fine children

growing up in Africa,

singing and writing verses. The first two months was hel

though, I tel the world. But now Shug's six months is come

and gone

and she ain't come back. And I try to teach my heart not to

want nothing it can't have.

Besides, she give me so many good years. Plus, she

learning new things in her new life. Now she and Germaine

staying with one of

her children.

Dear Celie, she wrote me, Me and Germaine ended up in

Tucson, Arizona where one of my children live. The other

two alive and turned

out wel but they didn't want to see me. Somebody told

them I lives a evil life. This one say he want to see his

mama no matter

what. He live in a little mud looking house like they have out

here, cal adobe, so you know I feels right at home (smile).

He

a schoolteacher too and work on the Indian

275 reservation. They cal him the black white man. They

have a word that mean that, too, and it real y bother him.

But even if

he try to tel them how heteel, they don't seem to care. They

so far gone nothing strangers say mean nothing. Everybody

not a

Indian they got no use for. I hate to see his feelings hurt, but

that's life.

It was Germaine who had the idea to look up my children.

He noticed how I always love dressing him up and playing

with his hair.

He didn't make it like a mean suggestion. He just said if I

knowed how my children was doing I would probably feel

better in my

life.

This son we staying with is name James. His wife is name

Cora Mae. They have two kids name Davis and Cantrel .

He say he thought

something was funny bout his mama (my mama) cause she

and big daddy was so old and strict and set in they ways.

But stil , he

felt a lot of love from them, he say.

Yeah son, I tel him. They had a lot of love to give. But I

needed love plus understanding. They run a little short of

that.

They beendead now, he say. Nine or ten years. Sent us al

to school as far as they could.

You know I never think bout mama and daddy. You know

how tough I think I is. But now that they dead and I see my

children doing

wel , I like to think about them. Maybe when I come back I

can put some flowers on they graves.

Oh, she write me now near bout every week. Long newsy

letters ful of stuff she thought she had forgot. Plus stuff bout

the desert

and the Indians and the rocky mountains. I wish I could be

traveling with her, but thank God she able to do it.

Sometimes I feel

mad at her. Feel like I could scratch her hair right off her

head. But then I think, Shug got a right to live too. She got a

276 right to look over the world in whatever company she

choose. Just cause I love her don't take away none of her

rights.

The only thing bother me is she don't never say nothing bout

coming back. And I miss her. I miss her friendship so much

that if

she want to come back here dragging Germaine I'd make

them both welcome, or die trying. Who am I to tel her who

to love? My job

just to love her good and true myself.

Mr. ??? ast me the other day what it is I love so much bout

Shug. He say he love her style. He say to tel the truth, Shug

act

more manly than most men. I mean she upright, honest.

Speak her mind and the devil take the hindmost, he say.

You know Shug wil

fight, he say. Just like Sofia. She bound to live her life and

be herself no matter what.

Mr. ??? think al this is stuff men do. But Harpo not like this,

I tel him. You not like this. What Shug got is womanly it

seem

like to me. Special y since she and Sofia the ones got it.

Sofia and Shug not like men, he say, but they not tike

women either.

You mean they not tike you or me.

They hold they own, he say. And it's different.

What I love best bout Shug is what she been through, I say.

When you look in Shug's eyes you know she been where

she been, seen

what she seen, did what she did. And now she know.

That's the truth, say Mr. ???.

And if you don't git out the way, she'l tel you about it.

Amen, he say. Then he say something that real y surprise

me cause it so thoughtful and common sense. When it

come to what folks

do together with they

277 bodies, he say,anybody's guess is as good as mine.

But when you talk bout love I don't have to guess. I have

love and I have

been love. And I thank God he let me gain understanding

enough to know love can't be halted just cause some

peoples mean and groan.

It don't surprise me you love Shug Avery, he say. I have love

Shug Avery al my life.

What load of bricks fel on you? I ast.

No bricks, he say. Just experience. You know, everybody

bound to git some of that sooner or later. Al they have to do

is stay

alive. And I start to git mine real heavy long about the time I

told Shug it was true that I beat you cause you was you and

not

her.

I told her, I say.

I know it, he say, and I don't blame you. If a mule could tel

folks how it's treated, it would. But you know some womens

would

have just love to hear they man say he beat his wife cause

she wasn't them. Shug one time was tike that bout Annie

Julia. Both

of us messed over my first wife a scanless. And she never

told nobody. Plus, she didn't have nobody to tel . After they

married

her off to me her folks behave like they'd throwed her down

a wel . Or oft the face of the earth. I didn't want her. I wanted

Shug. But my daddy was the boss. He give me the wife he

wanted me to have.

But Shug spoke right up for you, Celie, he say. She say

Albert, you been mistreating somebody I love. So as far as

you concern,

I'm gone. I couldn't believe it, he say. Al along in there we

was as hot for each other as two pistols. Excuse me, he

say. But

we was. I tried to laugh it off. But she meant what she said.

I tried to tease her. You don't love old dumb Celie, I said.

She ugly and skinny and can't hold a candle to you. She

can't even

screw.

278 What I want to say that for. From what she tel me,

Shug said, she don't have no reason to screw. You on and

off like a jackrabbit.

Plus, she say, Celie say you not always clean. And she turn

up her nose.

I wanted to kil you, said Mr. ??,? and I did slap you around

a couple of times. I never understood how you and Shug

got along

so wel together and it bothered the hel out of me. When

she was mean and nasty to you, I understood. But when I

looked around

and the two of you was always doing each other's hair, I

start to worry.

She stil feel for you, I say.

Yeah, he say. She feel like I'm her brother.

What so bad about that, I ast. Don't her brothers love her?

Them clowns, he say. They stil act the fool I use to be.

Wel , I say, we al have to start somewhere if us want to do

better, and our own self is what us have to hand.

I'm real sorry she left you, Celie. I remember how I felt when

she left me.

Then the old devil put his arms around me and just stood

there on the porch with me real quiet. Way after while I bent

my stiff

neck onto his shoulder. Here us is, I thought, two old fools

left over from love, keeping each other company under the

stars.

Other times he want to know bout my children.

I told him you say they both wear long robes, sort of like

dresses. That was the day he come to visit me while I was

sewing and

ast me what was so special bout my pants.

Anybody can wear them, I said.

Men and women not suppose to wear the same thing, he

said. Men spose to wear the pants.

So I said, You ought to tel that to the mens in Africa.

279 Say what? he ast. First time he ever thought bout what

Africans do.

People in Africa try to wear what feel comfortable in the

heat, I say. Of course, missionaries have they own ideas

bout dress.

But left to themself, Africans wear a little sometimes, or a

lot, according to Nettie. But men and women both preshate

a nice

dress.

Robe you said before, he say.

Robe, dress. Not pants, anyhow.

Wel , he say. I'l be dog.

And men sew in Africa, too, I say.

They do? he ast.

Yeah, I say. They not so backward as mens here.

When I was growing up, he said, I use to try to sew along

with mama cause that's what she was always doing. But

everybody laughed

at me. But you know, I liked it.

Wel , nobody gon laugh at you now, I said. Here, help me

stitch in these pockets.

But I don't know how, he say.

I'l show you, I said. And I did.

Now us sit sewing and talking and smoking our pipes.

Guess what, I say to him, folks in Africa where Nettie and

the children is believe white people is black peoples

children.

Naw, he say, like this interesting but his mind real y on the

slant of his next stitch.

They named Adam some other name soon as he arrive.

They say the white missionaries before Nettie and them

come told them al about

Adam from the white folks point of view and what the white

folks know. But they know who Adam is from they own point

of view.

And for a whole lot longer time ago.

And who that? Mr. ??? ast.

The first man that was white. Not the first man. They 279

280 say nobody so crazy they think they can say who was

the first man. But everybody notice the first white man

cause he was white.

Mr. ??? frown, look at the different color thread us got.

Thread his needle, lick his finger, tie a knot.

They say everybody before Adam was black. Then one day

some woman they just right away kil , come out with this

colorless baby.

They thought at first it was something she ate. But then

another one had one and also the women start to have

twins. So the people

start to put the white babies and the twins to death. So

real y Adam wasn't even the first white man. He was just the

first one

the people didn't kil .

Mr. ??? look at me real thoughtful. He not such a bad

looking man, you know, when you come right down to it.

And now it do begin

to look like he got a lot of feeling hind his face.

Wel , I say, you know black folks have what you cal albinos

to this day. But you never hear of white folks having nothing

black

unless some black men been messing with 'em. And no

white folks been in Africa back yonder when al this happen.

So these Olinka people heard about Adam and Eve from

the white missionaries and they heard about how the

serpent tricked Eve and

how God chased them out of the garden of Eden. And they

was real curious to hear this, cause after they had chased

the white Olinka

children out of the vil age they hadn't hardly thought no more

about it. Nettie say one thing about Africans, Out of sight,

out

of mind. And another thing, they don't like nothing around

them that look or act different. They want everybody to be

just alike.

So you know somebody white wouldn't last long. She say

seem tike to her the Africans throwed out the white Olinka

peoples for

how they look. They throwed out the rest of

281 us, al us who become slaves, for how us act. Seem

like us just wouldn't do right no matter how us try. Wen, you

know how niggers

is. Can't nobody tel 'em nothing even today. Can't be rule.

Every nigger you see got a kingdom in his head.

But guess what else, I say to Mr. ???_. When the

missionaries got to the part bout Adam and Eve being

naked, the Glinka peoples

nearly bust out laughing. Especial y when the missionaries

tried to make them put on clothes because-of this. They

tried to explain

to the missionaries that it was theywho put Adam and Eve

out of the Vil age because they wasnaked. Their word for

naked is white.

But since they are covered by color they are not naked.

They said anybody looking at a white person can tel they

naked, but black

people can not be naked because they can not be white.

Yeah, say Mr. ?,?. But they was wrong.

Right, I said. Adam and Eve prove it. What they did, these

Olinka peoples, was throw out they own children, just cause

they was

a little different.

I bet they do that same kind of stuff today, Mr. ??? say,

. Oh, from what Nettie say, them Africans is a mess. And

you know what the bible say, the fruit don't fal too far from

the tree.

And something else, I say. Guess who they say the snake

is?

Us, no doubt, say Mr. ???.

Right, I say. Whitefolks sign for they parents. They was so

mad to git throwed out and told they was naked they made

up they minds

to crush us wherever they find us, same as they would a

snake.

You reckon? Mr. ??? ast.

That's what these Olinka peoples say. But they say just like

they know history before the white children start to come,

they know

the future after the biggest of

282 'em leave. They say they know these particular children

and they gon kil each other off, they stil so mad bout being

unwanted.

Gon kil off a lot of other folk too who got some color. In fact,

they gon kil off so much of the earth and the colored that

everybody gon hate them just like they hate us today. Then

they wil become the new serpent. And wherever a white

person is found

he'l be crush by somebody not white, just like they do us

today. And some of the Olinka peoples believe life wil just

go on

and on like this forever. And every mil ion years or so

something wil happen to the earth and folks wil change the

way they

look. Folks might start growing two heads one of these

days, for al we know, and then the folks with one head wil

send 'em al

someplace else. But some of 'em don't think like this. They

think, after the biggest of the white folks no longer on the

earth,

the only way to stop making somebody the serpent is for

everybody to accept everybody else as a child of God, or

one mother's

children, no matter what they look like or how they act. And

guess what else about the snake?

What? he ast.

. These Olinka people worship it. They say who knows,

maybe it is kinfolks, but for sure it's the smartest, cleanest,

slickest

thing they ever seen.

These folks sure must have a heap of time just to sit and

think, say. Mr. ???.

Nettie say they real good at thinking, I say. But they think so

much in terms of thousands of years they have a hard time

girting

themself through one.

So what they name Adam?

Something sound like Omatangu, I say. It mean a un-naked

man somewhere near the first one God made that knowed

what he was. A whole

lot of the men that come before the first man was men, but

none of 'em

283 didn't know it. You know how long it take some mens to

notice anything, I say.

Took me long enough to notice you such good company, he

say. And he laugh.

He ain't Shug, but he begin to be somebody I can talk to.

And no matter how much the telegram said you must be

drown, I stil git letters from you.

Your sister,

Celie

284

After two and a half months Adam and Tashi returned!

Adam overtook Tashi and her mother and some other

members of our compound

as they were nearing the vil age where the white woman

missionary had lived, but Tashi would not hear of turning

back, nor would

Catherine, and so Adam accompanied them to the

mbelesencampment.

Oh, be says, it is the most extraordinary place!

You know, Celie, in Africa there is a huge depression in the

earth cal ed the great rift val ey, but it is on the other side of

the continent from where we are. However, according to

Adam, there is a "smal " rift on our side, several thousand acres large

and even deeper than the great rift, which covers mil ions of

acres. It is a place set so deep into the earth that it can only

real y be seen, Adam thinks, from the air, and then it would

seem just an overgrown canyon. Wel , in this overgrown

canyon are

a thousand people from dozens of African tribes, and even

one colored man?Adam swears?from Alabama! There are

farms. There is

a school. An infirmary. A temple. And there are male

285 and female warriors who do indeed go on missions of

sabotage against the white plantations.

But al this seemed more a marvel in the recounting than in

the actual experiencing of it, if I am any judge of Adam and

lashi.

Their minds seem to have been completely riveted on each

other.

I wish you could have seen them as they staggered into the

compound. Filthy as hogs, hair as wild as could be. Sleepy.

Exhausted.

Smel y. God knows. But stil arguing.

Just because I came back with you, don't think I am saying

yes to marriage, says lashi.

Oh yes you are, says Adam, heatedly, but through ayawn.

You promised your mother. / promised yourmother., ?

Nobody in America wil like me, says lashi.

I wil like you, says Adam.

Olivia ran and enfolded lashi in her arms. Ran about

preparing food and a bath.

Last night, after lashi and Adam had slept most of the day,

We had a family conference. We informed them that

because so many of

our people had gone to join the mbelesand the planters

were beginning to bring in Moslem workers from the North,

and because it

was time for us to do so, we would be leaving for home in a

matter of weeks.

Adam announced his desire to marry lashi.

lashi announced her refusal to be married.

And then, in that honest, forthright way of hers, she gave her

reasons. Paramount among them that, because of the

scarification

marks on her cheeks Americans would look down on her

as a savage and shun her, and whatever children she and

Adam might have.

That she had seen the magazines we receive from home

and

286 that it was very clear to her that black people did not

truly admire blackskinned black people like herself, and

especial y

did not admire blackskinned black women. They bleach

their faces, she said. They fry their hair. They try to look

naked.

Also, she continued, I fear Adam wil be distracted by one

of these naked looking women and desert me. Then I would

have no country,

no people, no mother and no husband and brother.

You'd have a sister, said Olivia.

Then Adam spoke. He asked Tashi to forgive his initial

stupid response to the scarification. And to forgive the

repugnance he'd

felt about the female initiation ceremony. He assured Tashi

that it was she he loved and that hi America she would have

country,

people, parents, sister, husband, brother and lover, and that

whatever befel her in America would also be his own

choice and

his own lot.

Oh, Celie.

So, the next day, our boy came to us with scars identical to

Tashi's on his cheeks.

And they are so happy. So happy, Celie. Tashi and Adam

Omatangu.

Samuel married them, of course, and al the people left in

the compound came to wish them happiness and an

abundance of roofleaf

forever. Olivia stood up with the bride and a friend of

Adam's?a man too old to have joined the mbeles?stood up

with him. Immediately

after the wedding we left the compound, riding in a lorry that

took us to a boat at the coast inlet that flows out to sea.

In a few weeks, we wil al be home.

Your loving sister,

Nettie

287

Mr. ??_ talk to Snug a lot lately by telephone. He say as

soon as he told her my sister and her family was missing,

she and Germaiae

made a beeline for the State department trying to find out

what happen. He say Shug say it just kil her to think I'm

down here

suffering from not knowing. But nothing happen at the State

department. Nothing at the department of defense. It's a big

war.

So much going on. One ship lost feel like nothing, I guess.

Plus, colored don't count to those people.

Wel , they just don't know, and never did. Never wil . And so

what? I know you on your way home and you may not git

here til I'm

ninety, but one of these days I do expect to see your face.

Meanwhile, I hired Sofia to clerk in our store. Kept the white

man Alphonso got to run it, but put Sofia in there to wait on

colored

cause they never had nobody in a store to wait on 'em

before and nobody in a store to treat 'em nice. Sofia real

good at sel ing

stuff too cause she act like she don't care if you buy or not.

No skin off her nose. And then if you decide to buy anyhow,

wel ,

288 she might exchange a few pleasant words with you.

Plus, she scare that white man. Anybody else colored he try

to cal 'em auntie

or something. First time he try that with Sofia she ast him

which colored man his mama sister marry.

I ast Harpo do he mind if Sofia work.

What I'm gon mind for? he say. It seem to mate her happy.

And I can take care of anything come up at home. Anyhow,

he say, Sofia

got me a little help for when Henrietta need anything special

to eat or git sick.

Yeah, say Sofia. Miss Eleanor Jane gon look hi on

Henrietta and every other day promise to cook her

something she'l eat. You know

white people have a look of machinery in they kitchen. She

whip up stuff with yams you'd never believe. Last week she

went and

made yam ice cream.

How this happen? I ast. I thought the two of you was

through.

Oh, say Sofia. It final y dawn on her to ast her mama why I

come to work for them.

I don't expect ft to last, though, say Harpo. You know how

they is.

Do her peoples know? I ast.

They know, say Sofia. They carrying on just like you know

they would. Whoever heard of a white woman working for

niggers, they

rave. She tel them, Whoever heard of somebody like Sofia

working for trash.

She bring Reynolds Stanley with her? I ast.

Henrietta say she don't mind him.

Wel , say Harpo, I'm satisfied if her menfolks against her

helping you, she gon quit.

Let her quit, say Sofia. It not my salvation she working for.

And if she don't learn she got to face judgment for herself,

she

won't even have live.

Wel , you got me behind you, anyway, say Harpo. 288

289 And I loves every judgment you ever made. He move

up and kiss her where her nose was stitch.

Sofia toss her head. Everybody learn something in life, she

say. And they laugh.

Speaking of learning, Mr. ??? say one day us was sewing

out on the porch, I first start to team al them days ago I use

to sit

up there on my porch, staring out cross the railing.

Just miserable. That's what I was. And I couldn't understand

why us have life at an if al it can do most times is make us

feel

bad. Al I ever wanted in life was Shug Avery, he say. And

one while, al she wanted in life was me. Wel , us couldn't

have each

other, he say. I got Annie Julia. Then you. Al them rotten

children. She got Grady and who know who al . But stil ,

look like

she come out better than me. A lot of people love Shug, but

nobody but Shug love me.

Hard not to love Shug, I say. She know how to love

.somebody back.

I tried to do something bout my children after you left me.

But by that time it was too late. Bub come with me for two

weeks, stole

al my money, laid up on the porch drunk. My girls so far off

into mens and religion they can't hardly talk. Everytime they

open

they mouth some kind of plea come out. Near bout to broke

my sorry heart.

If you know your heart sorry, I say, that mean it not quite as

spoilt as you think.

Anyhow, he say, you know how it is. You ast yourself one

question, it lead to fifteen. I start to wonder why us need

love. Why

us suffer. Why us black. Why us men and women. Where

do children real y come from. It didn't take long to realize I

didn't hardly

know nothing. And that if you ast yourself why you black or a

man or a

290 woman or a bush it don't mean nothing if you don't ast

why you here, period.

So what you think? I ast.

I think us here to wonder, myself. To wonder. To ast. And

that in wondering bout the big things and asting bout the big

things,

you learn about the little ones, almost by accident. But you

never know nothing more about the big things than you start

out with.

The more I wonder, he say, the more I love.

And people start to love you back, I bet, I say.

They do, he .say, surprise. Harpo seem to love me. Sofia

and the children. I think even ole evil Henrietta love me a

little bit,

but that's cause she know she just as big a mystery to me

as the man in the moon.

Mr. ??? is busy patterning a shirt for folks to wear with my

pants.

Got to have pockets, he say. Got to have loose sleeves.

And definitely you not spose to wear it with no tie. Folks

wearing ties

look like they being lynch.

And then, just when I know I can live content without Shug,

just when Mr. ??? done ast me to marry him again, this time

in the

spirit as wel as in the flesh, and just after I say Naw, I stil

don't like frogs, but let's us be friends, Shug write me she

coming home.

Now. Is this life or not?

I be so calm.

If she come, I be happy. If she don't, I be content.

And then I figure this the lesson I was suppose to learn.

Oh Celie, she say, stepping out of the car, dress like a

moving star, I missed you more than I missed my own

mama.

Us hug.

Come on in, I say.

291 Oh, the house look so nice, she say, when us git to her

room. You know I love pink.

Got you some elephants and turtles coming, too, I say.

Where your room? she ast.

Down the hal , I say.

Let's go see it, she say.

Wel , here it is, I say, standing in the door. Everything in my

room purple and red cept the floor, that painted bright

yel ow.

She go right to the little purple frog perch on my

mantlepiece.

What this? she ast.

Oh, I say, a little something Albert carve for me.

She look at me funny for a minute, I look at her. Then us

laugh.

Where Germaine at? I ast.

In col ege, she say. Wilberforce. Can't let al that talent go to

waste. Us through, though, she say. He feel just like family

now. Like a son. Maybe a grandson. What you and Albert

been up to? she ast.

Nothing much, I say.

She say, I know Albert and I bet he been up to something,

with you looking as fine as you look.

Us sew, I say. Make idle conversation.

How idle? she ast.

What do you know, I think. Shug jealous. I have a good

mind to make up a story just to make her feel bad. But I

don't.

Us talk bout you, I say. How much us love you.

She smile, come put her head on my breast. Let out a long

breath.

Your sister,

Celie

292 Dear God. Dear stars, dear trees, dear sky, dear

peoples. Dear Everything. Dear God..

Thank you for bringing my sister Nettie and our children

home.

Wonder who that coming yonder? ast Albert, looking up the

road. Us can see the dust just aflying.

Me and him and Shug sitting out on the porch after dinner.

Talking. Not talking. Rocking and fanning flies. Shug

mention she don't

want to sing in public no more?wel , maybe-a night or two at

Harpo's. Think maybe she retire. Albert say he want her to

try on

his new shirt. I talk bout Henrietta. Sofia. My garden and the

store. How tilings doing general y. So much in the habit of

sewing

something I stitch up a bunch of scraps, try to see what I

can make. The weather cool for the last of June, and sitting

on the

porch with Albert and Shug feel real pleasant. Next week

be the fourth of July and us plan a big family reunion

outdoors here

at my house. Just hope the cool weather hold.

Could be the mailman, I say. Cept he driving a little fast.

293 Could be Sofia, say Shug. You know she drive like a

maniac.

Could be Harpo, say Albert. But it not.

By now the car stop under the trees in the yard and al these

peoples dress like old folks git out.

A big tal whitehaired man with a backward turn white col ar,

a little dumpty woman with her gray hair in plaits cross on

top her

head. A tal youngish man and two robust looking youngish

women. The whitehaired man say something to the driver of

the car and

the car leave. They al stand down there at the edge of the

drive surrounded by boxes and bags and al kinds of stuff.

By now my heart is in my mouth and I can't move.

It's Nettie, Albert say, girting up.

Al the people down by the drive look up at us. They look at

the house. The yard. Shug and Albert's cars. They look

round at the

fields. Then they commence to walk real slow up die walk to

the house.

I'm so scared I don't know what to do. Feel like my mind

stuck. I try to speak, nothing come. Try to git up, almost fal .

Shug

reach down and give me a helping hand. Albert press me

on the arm.

When Nettie's foot come down on the porch I almost die. I

stand swaying, tween Albert and Shug. Nettie stand

swaying tween Samuel

and I reckon it must be Adam. Then us both start to moan

and cry. Us totter toward one nother like us use to do when

us was babies.

Then us feel so weak when us touch, us knock each other

down. But what us care? Us sit and lay there on the porch

inside each

other's arms.

After while, she say Celie.

Isay Nettie.

Little bit more time pass. Us look round at a lot of peoples

knees/Nettie never let go my waist. This my

294 husband Samuel, she say, pointing up. These our

children Olivia and Adam and this Adam's wife Tashi, she

say.

I point up at my peoples. This Shug and Albert, I say.

Everybody say Pleased to Meetcha. Then .Shug and Albert

start to hug everybody one after the other.

Me and Nettie final y git up off the porch and I hug my

children. And I hug Tashi. Then I hug Samuel.

Why us always have family reunion on July 4th, say

Henrietta, mouth poke out, ful of complaint. It so hot.

White people busy celebrating they independence from

England July 4th, say Harpo, so most black folks don't have

to work. Us can

spend the day celebrating each other.

Ah, Harpo, say Mary Agnes, sipping some lemonade, I

didn't know you knowed history. She and Sofia working

together on the potato

salad. Mary Agnes come back home to pick up Suzie Q.

She done left Grady, move back to Memphis and live with

her sister and her

ma. They gon look after Suzie Q while she work. She got a

lot of new songs, she say, and not too knocked out to sing

'em.

After while, being with Grady, I couldn't think, she say. Plus,

he not a good influence for no child. Course, I wasn't either,

she say. Smoking so much reefer.

Everybody make a lot of miration over Tashi. People look

at her and Adam's scars like that's they business. Say they

never suspect

African ladies could look so good.They make a fine couple.

Speak a little funny, but us girting use to it.

What your people love best to eat over there in Africa? us

ast.

She sort of blush and say barbecue.294

295 Everybody laugh and stuff her with one more piece.

I feel a little peculiar round the children. For one thing, they

grown. And I see they think me and Nettie and Shug and

Albert

and Samuel and Harpo and Sofia and Jack and Odessa

real old and don't know much what going on. But I don't

think us feel old at

al . And us so happy. Matter of fact, I think this the youngest

us ever felt.

Amen

296 I thank everybody in this book for coming. A.W., author

and medium